A girl walks in a supermarket and buys the following:
1 piece of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 small bread
1 litter of milk
1 apple
1 banana
1 prom
1 peach
1 grape
1 tomato
1 litter of orange juice
1 glass of marmalade
1 big potato
1 little cake
1 pack of butter
1 pie
1 small pack of coffee
1 one frozen prepared dish
1 frozen pizza
The man at the register looks at her and says smiling:
"Single, huh?"
The girl gives him a loving smile and says:"how did you guess?"
He answered: "because you are DAMN ugly!!"
Like a Man/Like a Woman...
ROFLMAO @ Garcia! 
That's good Gotta send that one to my ex!!! REVENGE IS SWEEEEEEEET!
That's good
Gotta send that one to my ex!!! REVENGE IS SWEEEEEEEET! Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Hmmm... now which way am I supposed to interpret that?Originally posted by Garcia:
<STRONG>I already did
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Well, tomorrow morning, you'll either wake up with a hit squad at your door or a gift basket!
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work
****tail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally
tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He
was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes
away from him.
The young man noticed her overly-attentive stare and
walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her
apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man
said to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything,
that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20,
on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition
was. The young man replied, "You have to tell me what
you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment,
withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out four $5
bills, which she pressed into the young man's hand
along with her address.
She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly,
meaningfully said......"Clean my house."
****tail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally
tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He
was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes
away from him.
The young man noticed her overly-attentive stare and
walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her
apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man
said to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything,
that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20,
on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition
was. The young man replied, "You have to tell me what
you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment,
withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out four $5
bills, which she pressed into the young man's hand
along with her address.
She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly,
meaningfully said......"Clean my house."
The last four US Presidents are caught in a tornado,
and off they spin to OZ. After threatening trials and
tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City
and come before the Great Wizard.
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I've come for some courage."
"NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well...., I.... think I need a brain." "DONE" says the Wizard.
"WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?"
Up steps George Bush sadly,
"I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."
"I'VE HEARD ITS TRUE," says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE."
Then there is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks,
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"Is Dorothy here?"
and off they spin to OZ. After threatening trials and
tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City
and come before the Great Wizard.
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I've come for some courage."
"NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well...., I.... think I need a brain." "DONE" says the Wizard.
"WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?"
Up steps George Bush sadly,
"I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."
"I'VE HEARD ITS TRUE," says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE."
Then there is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks,
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"Is Dorothy here?"
> The Top FORTY Things You Will NEVER Hear A Texan Boy Say:
> >
> > > 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
> > 38. Duct tape won't fix that.
> > 37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
> > 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
> > 35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
> > 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
> > 33. You can't feed that to the dog.
> > 32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
> > 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
> > 30. Wrestling's fake.
> > 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
> > 28. We're vegetarians.
> > 27. Do you think my gut is too big?
> > 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
> > 25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
> > 24. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
> > 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
> > 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
> > 21. Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
> > 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal Mart today.
> > 19. Trim the fat off that steak.
> > 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
> > 17. The tires on that truck are too big.
> > 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
> > 15. I've got it all on the C: drive.
> > 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
> > 13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
> > 12. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
> > 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
> > 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
> > 9. Checkmate.
> > 8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
> > 7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
> > 6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
> > 5. I don't have a favorite college team.
> > 4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
> > 3. "You all" (instead of "Y'all").
> > 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
> > And, Number ONE is
> > 1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight!
> >
> > > 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
> > 38. Duct tape won't fix that.
> > 37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
> > 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
> > 35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
> > 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
> > 33. You can't feed that to the dog.
> > 32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
> > 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
> > 30. Wrestling's fake.
> > 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
> > 28. We're vegetarians.
> > 27. Do you think my gut is too big?
> > 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
> > 25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
> > 24. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
> > 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
> > 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
> > 21. Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
> > 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal Mart today.
> > 19. Trim the fat off that steak.
> > 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
> > 17. The tires on that truck are too big.
> > 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
> > 15. I've got it all on the C: drive.
> > 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
> > 13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
> > 12. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
> > 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
> > 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
> > 9. Checkmate.
> > 8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
> > 7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
> > 6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
> > 5. I don't have a favorite college team.
> > 4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
> > 3. "You all" (instead of "Y'all").
> > 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
> > And, Number ONE is
> > 1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight!