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The Basis of Spamming - An Arcane Knowledge

Anything goes... just keep it clean.
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Denethorn
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The Basis of Spamming - An Arcane Knowledge

Post by Denethorn »

Spamming - What seems to be reckless beauty is in fact only achievable by careful study of the fine arts.

Through careful study of Gamebanshees forums and interviewing spammers who have been castrated by the moderators have I found out how spamming has evolved from being one of the most hated sports in the free world to a comical, saturated art of thsoe who want to
a)Stand Out
b)Call a cab
c)Die an early death

The basis of spamming is simple:
Find a humerous topic. Post your thanks and applause and a matter of an opinion. Wait for someone else to come along and comment on your opinion... your comment on theirs in turn and so on. Prime examples of such lack-lustre behaviour are Darkpoet and Vehemence/Mr Sleep. Through careful preperation, training nad saving up for a decent keyboard they have achieved a bond between one another. In every topic they sense that they each should aid one another in the perplexing suite of posts.

There are many breeds of spammers.
1. Post reckelssly, no real material to gain post counts; the spammers will struggle on the field of elitist spamming. Such people find flood guards in their way and moderators who threaten them with castration.
2.Spammers who make their opinion heard over many posts - ratehr than one. While this is an easily achievable variation of spam its simplesness is the method's downfall. Whileother more experianced spammers choose other, more functional and aesthetically pleasing type of spam - the idiots go for what appears to be the easy option, however this method requries the old noggin (which idiots, are sadly, deprived of from birth).

3.Spam through a debait.
The most elegant of all spamming regimes. The moderator is defenceless to do anything as such spamming complies with standard board rules, through comments on opinion, debaits or even lengthly discussions on the entire analysis of binary code and its functions. Such types of spamming are only to be attempted by the most odious, the most evil, the most diabolical and succesful spammers of their illustrious careers........... like Mr Sleep :) .

I now end the guide to Spamming:An Art Through the Ages with a comment:

this description of the policies of Spammers and Moderators along with guides on how to achieve succesful Spammer Status are for education purposes only. In fact, if you were a real spammer you wouldn't be reading this - you'd be spamming the boards now like the devilish hoodlum that you are - so from this I hope you can see I'm not trying to persuade you to spam... no, For me, you,and the average Joe Bloggs on the Street we don't inhabit the ethereal powers required for the art of spamming.

So lets just stick with Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll.

DISCLAIMER: No sexual organs were harmed in the many castraitions that were spoken of in this guide.
"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"
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Vehemence
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Post by Vehemence »

Bonding? Darkpuppet, Mrs Peel and me? Sorry Alexander, but we don't go in for those kind of backdoor shenanigans. ;)

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some spamming to do... Vehemence style ;) :D
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
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Post by Xandax »

This reminds me a bit of the "Pre Spammers Guide to SYM" [url="http://www.gamebanshee.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=9&t=000216"]http://www.gamebanshee.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=9&t=000216[/url]

:D - Oh, the nostaliga
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Vehemence
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Post by Vehemence »

Oh god... not that again ;) I was pegged all wrong ;)
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
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Mr Sleep
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Post by Mr Sleep »

Originally posted by Vehemence:
<STRONG>Bonding? Darkpuppet, Mrs Peel and me? Sorry Alexander, but we don't go in for those kind of backdoor shenanigans. ;)
</STRONG>
That's not what i hear ;)
I'd have to get drunk every night and talk about virility...And those Pink elephants I'd see.
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Post by Vehemence »

Originally posted by Mr Sleep:
<STRONG>That's not what i hear ;) </STRONG>
Speak for yourself ;) :D
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
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Post by Mr Sleep »

That is what i was doing, after all i am not a ventriloquists dummy :p :p
I'd have to get drunk every night and talk about virility...And those Pink elephants I'd see.
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Post by Vehemence »

Originally posted by Mr Sleep:
<STRONG>That is what i was doing, after all i am not a ventriloquists dummy :p :p </STRONG>
Really? Hmmm... then why does someone have their hand up... er... never mind ;) :D
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
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Post by Mr Sleep »

Leave it! :p :p :D
I'd have to get drunk every night and talk about virility...And those Pink elephants I'd see.
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Post by Xandax »

Originally posted by Vehemence:
<STRONG>Really? Hmmm... then why does someone have their hand up... er... never mind ;) :D </STRONG>
*ROFLMAOTID*
:D :D
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Post by Vehemence »

Originally posted by Mr Sleep:
<STRONG>Leave it! :p :p :D </STRONG>
Leave what? Or are we getting too personal ;) :D
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
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Denethorn
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Post by Denethorn »

Surely you see what is happening here between Vehemence, Mr Sleep and Xandax is non other than method 3 on spammers guide.
"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"
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Xandax
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Post by Xandax »

Hey - I'm not a spammer, so I can't be compared to any list :)
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Denethorn
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Post by Denethorn »

fine-you can be the mods who have the unfortunate task of castrating those of ill manner.
"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"
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Post by Xandax »

Originally posted by Alexander Denethorn:
<STRONG>fine-you can be the mods who have the unfortunate task of castrating those of ill manner.</STRONG>
Unfortunate task??? :D
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Denethorn
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Post by Denethorn »

Urrggh

I wouldn't want to be observing waverly's castration :eek: .

Weasel'lls be dodgy too ;)
"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"
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Post by Georgi »

Originally posted by Xandax:
<STRONG>This reminds me a bit of the "Pre Spammers Guide to SYM"</STRONG>
Originally posted by Vehemence:
<STRONG>Oh god... not that again ;) I was pegged all wrong</STRONG>

Originally posted by Brink:
<STRONG>Vehemence-The person who will try to win a discussion by smooth words instead of content.An egotistic sissy.Needed help with bartending when there wasn't many people around in the pub at the time.Claims to be like thunder:lots of noise but no substance.Other claims include being a legend( :rolleyes: ),a master in TKD(surprisingly oblivious to his surroundings) and a poet</STRONG>
:D :D :D
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Vehemence
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Post by Vehemence »

Hey, no fair! :D I've been wrongfully accused! :D ;)
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
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Post by Georgi »

Originally posted by Vehemence:
<STRONG>Hey, no fair! :D I've been wrongfully accused! :D ;) </STRONG>
Uh-huh.... :rolleyes: :p
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Post by Vehemence »

Originally posted by Georgi:
<STRONG>Uh-huh.... :rolleyes: :p </STRONG>
I was! Sheesh, my own girlfriend doesn't believe me ;) Hmmmm... that's actually the first time I've refered to you as my girlfriend... interesting... :D
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
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