Under the heat of the desert sun

RandomThug · Post by **RandomThug** » Thu Aug 01, 2002 10:27 am

[Scene] - Desert setting. Midnight, the cold errie calmness of the Rubar Desert fills the sky. One lone man is seen on the horizon, stalking forwards in no true direction. His appearance is rugged... as if he has been wandering for weeks.. at closer inspection you see his lips parting to speak...

"Cursed woman... " the man repeats under his breath over and over until his mouth is dry and his lips chap. His eys flash with the brilliance of hate. Alone in this desert, this man has found his moment. His clarity. He will kill her, she will bleed before him.

Flash back, three days before.

[Scene] A couple is shown walking along a deck of a cruise ship, the setting sun illuminates the water creating a very mellow yet bright effect. The couple comes to a stop halfway down the boat, resting against the rails... the woman turns to the man who's face is hiden behind the glare of the water...

(Woman) "I cant do this anymore."
(Man) "...."
(Woman) "No... I wont do this anymore, I am backing out"
(Man)" Its to late, you have no choice"
(Woman) *As she breaks free from his hand and cautiusly steps bacK* "NO! I am leaving... and doing it now!

[The woman retreats hastefully past other cruise goers who look on her and the man with slight interest, thier little argument has created a bit of a stir. A large burly man approaches the now alone man, the burly man appears rather angry]

(Burly Man) "It is time... ready?"
(Man) "Always..."

[Scene] - Flash back to the desert, the lone man is staggering about... It seems another few days have passed... in closer inspection his mouth still moves... but no words come out. His face is drier then before, and his legs thinner. A dying man.

(Damnit, I lost it... had a good story here but lost it... damnit... alright coming back soon to this thread with a Short Story for my wanna be comic)

thug..

p.s. if anyone wants to revamp, add on, twist, create whatever with this then be my guest.

Vicsun · Post by **Vicsun** » Thu Aug 01, 2002 12:11 pm

Originally posted by RandomThug
[Scene] - Desert setting. Midnight, the cold errie calmness of the Rubar Desert fills the sky. One lone man is seen on the horizon, stalking forwards in no true direction. His appearance is rugged... as if he has been wandering for weeks.. at closer inspection you see his lips parting to speak...

"Cursed woman... " the man repeats under his breath over and over until his mouth is dry and his lips chap. His eys flash with the brilliance of hate. Alone in this desert, this man has found his moment. His clarity. He will kill her, she will bleed before him.

Flash back, three days before.

[Scene] A couple is shown walking along a deck of a cruise ship, the setting sun illuminates the water creating a very mellow yet bright effect. The couple comes to a stop halfway down the boat, resting against the rails... the woman turns to the man who's face is hiden behind the glare of the water...

(Woman) "I cant do this anymore."
(Man) "...."
(Woman) "No... I wont do this anymore, I am backing out"
(Man)" Its to late, you have no choice"
(Woman) *As she breaks free from his hand and cautiusly steps bacK* "NO! I am leaving... and doing it now!

[The woman retreats hastefully past other cruise goers who look on her and the man with slight interest, thier little argument has created a bit of a stir. A large burly man approaches the now alone man, the burly man appears rather angry]

(Burly Man) "It is time... ready?"
(Man) "Always..."

[Scene] - Flash back to the desert, the lone man is staggering about... It seems another few days have passed... in closer inspection his mouth still moves... but no words come out. His face is drier then before, and his legs thinner. A dying man.

(Damnit, I lost it... had a good story here but lost it... damnit... alright coming back soon to this thread with a Short Story for my wanna be comic)

thug..

p.s. if anyone wants to revamp, add on, twist, create whatever with this then be my guest.

Nice story. When is it going to continiue?

wiwimu · Post by **wiwimu** » Thu Aug 01, 2002 6:04 pm

hey i would really wanna see the comic version ..is this the beginning or an excerpt?
well if it's the beginning it has already captured my attention.

my first intial impression was that they are going to do something bad..
or are they going to get married and the woman backed out?
i am dying to find out....

but if the main character is about to die then what will happen?
or is he NOT the main character?

have you given them names? because right now i am assuming that the dying guy is the same person as the guy who was arguing with the woman....or was he the guy that interupted them...

i really wanna know how the story is going to proceed so
good luck

wiwimu · Post by **wiwimu** » Thu Aug 01, 2002 6:06 pm

hey and maybe you could post some of your artistic samples.

i love comics.

RandomThug · Post by **RandomThug** » Fri Aug 02, 2002 10:54 am

Your interest breaths life into my crotch

Actually thats not true, It breaths into my mind. Dude I LOVE COMICS (actually pissed off I couldn't take today off and hit the Comic Con in sandiego eairly (going tommorow). I am not an artist, I am the writer heh. I am void of artistic talent, the story will continue hopefully today. You got me feeling good.

thug

wiwimu · Post by **wiwimu** » Fri Aug 02, 2002 6:48 pm

Always glad to see people with passion.
Makes the world a nicer place to live in.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Sat Aug 03, 2002 10:16 pm

I have a friend whose drawing style would suit the script so far perfectly.
If you're okay with it, @Thug, I'll see if he'd be interested in drawing some panels for it and try to figure out some way of posting them on the net.