Influences and development (only topic related spam, please)

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Fri Jun 14, 2002 1:02 pm

We humans are social animals. We interact with each other, physically, socially and emotionally, and we take impression and are influenced by each other as well as different phenomena around us.

We are usually more impressionable the younger we are. Our large brain is not mature and ready when we are born, it develops dramatically until we are about 3 years. After that, it continues to develop until the late teens. (After that, the degeneration sets in

)

This condition means we humans develop a lot, and that we can change a lot. We are the species on this planet that is by far most dependant on learning. As small children, we learn from our parents and other adults around us. We need role models in the adult world as well as among our peers. We also use abstract role models, such as historical persons, fictive persons or creatures, or media persons.

Now to my questions: What things/people/events in you life do you feel have had the most influence on you? Have you undergone any dramatic changes, or periods when you have developed especially fast? If so, were you influenced by something? What people around you do feel have influenced you the most, and why?

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri Jun 14, 2002 1:30 pm

Originally posted by C Elegans
Now to my questions: What things/people/events in you life do you feel have had the most influence on you? Have you undergone any dramatic changes, or periods when you have developed especially fast? If so, were you influenced by something? What people around you do feel have influenced you the most, and why?

Where do i start

During my formative years as a young teenager i was afflicted - and still am - with a condition, this precipitated missing a great deal of school (i am sure you have heard all this before

) i spent about 4 weeks with people who have had more influence on my every day living than everyone else bar my parents.

They taught me how to cope and they taught me some self respect, ever since then i have been progressing instead of regressing

Another influence; a 24 (now 26) year old red head, she taught me a lot of things, she also gave me confidence to chat with women and not be intimidated, before you ask i didn't sleep with her (although i probably would have

) i had fun with her and she was quite an influence, i could give you some examples if you want

I have lost touch with her though

And of course GB has been some kind of influence on me, i could digress to talking about that, however i am sure you have heard all that before

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Fri Jun 14, 2002 3:50 pm

admittedly, i'm kinda young, so the main influences on me so far (other than my dad, that i am - allegedly - similar to. d'oh) were two of my teachers, who convinced me in very different ways to do what i actually wanted to do when i have a chance, and putting that into practice lifted me out of the bigest hole i had ever been in.

surprisingly enough, one of those teachers was universally disliked, and seemed the most angry person in the school, yet actually cared about where i was going. i kinda learnt something about people too from that experience.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Fri Jun 14, 2002 4:59 pm

@Sleep: I of course know about the CFS, and it is really great that you live the life you do now

This red head woman sounds like a very good influence, yes please, do give examples

Must be thanks to her you have developed into such a lady's man

GB has a influece on us all, to some extent - otherwise we shouldn't stay here

@Robnark: This angry teacher, how would you describe this person influenced you, in what way?

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri Jun 14, 2002 5:08 pm

Originally posted by C Elegans
@Sleep: I of course know about the CFS, and it is really great that you live the life you do now

Don't you mean FMS

This red head woman sounds like a very good influence, yes please, do give examples Must be thanks to her you have developed into such a lady's man

Okay, examples, well... it is difficult to pick on just one... she taught me to embrace my computer knowledge and not consider it to be totally geeky and use it to benefit other people. She was in a relationship with another guy, i tended to be the shoulder to cry on so i learned a great deal about relationship hindirances. Hmmm...of course there is more

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Fri Jun 14, 2002 6:08 pm

Originally posted by Mr Sleep
Don't you mean FMS

Sorry, of course I did, I tend to confuse acronyms that are not international, but differs from Swedish to English, like FMS does.

Nice examples, both of them

My second boyfriend also had a close relationship with a considerably older woman when he was a teen...he learned a lot from her...that also was very beneficial for me...

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Sat Jun 15, 2002 7:11 am

Well, I feel (albit modestly, but my friends tell me this) that over the past six months I have sort of "grown up". I like to think that I'm much more mature now. My friends had a huge influence in this, as they were there for me when I was depressed this year and thinking of suicide (hey, its grade nine

).

Also, at our school we did a program call Muskoka Woods. It was a camping trip that basically made us trust other people and just have a great time, through activities and the like. It build my self-confidence and to just do something, and not to worry about what probably won't happen.

And, finally, gamebanshee. GB has had a huge impact on my life, wether it was the jokes, the games, or the debates. I'm much more learned then I was a year ago, partly because of GB.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Sat Jun 15, 2002 7:39 am

Far too many to mention, a surprising number of them (yes, you guessed it) older women.

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Sat Jun 15, 2002 7:52 pm

Unfortunatly I feel that most of my life I have taken impressions mainly from my friends. And the times were I had chances to grew out of this I usally blew it by seeking new groups of friends instead of thinking for myself about what I want and how I should act.

The only adult that I can think of that had a large impact on me (apart from the one's I've grew up with) Is a teacher I've had when I was 10-12 years old, Who in my opinion was a little less than a genious. He changed my behaviour quite alot. (Was rather violent at the time)

Georgi · Post by **Georgi** » Sat Jun 15, 2002 8:02 pm

Most people seem to be thinking of how friends have influenced them... To give a different perpective, I think being bullied at school had a huge impact on me. It made me incredibly shy and self-conscious - I have become less so, particularly in the last few years, but I'm still pretty shy - as well as more independent, and less concerned about being 'in with the in crowd'.

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Sat Jun 15, 2002 8:27 pm

@Georgi:
Thats something I can relate to. I think the reason why Im not as dependant on apreciation from friends now as I was when I was younger is that I felt rather alienated during a certain period of my life. So I guess there can be some good comming out of situations like that as well. Nevertheless its still no fun at the time.

*hug*

Georgi · Post by **Georgi** » Sat Jun 15, 2002 8:36 pm

@Dottie that makes me think of another effect it had, I don't tend to have many close friends that I confide in, IRL at least. I wasn't necessarily labelling the influence it had as good or bad, but it has definitely had an effect on who I am now. I wasn't trolling for sympathy, but thanks anyway. *hug*

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Sat Jun 15, 2002 8:47 pm

Originally posted by Georgi
I wasn't necessarily labelling the influence it had as good or bad, but it has definitely had an effect on who I am now.

I definatly think the not 'in with the in crowd' effect is a good one, Like I tried to say my interaction with my friends at young age is definatly nothing I can feel proud of now.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Sun Jun 16, 2002 12:20 am

Originally posted by Georgi
Most people seem to be thinking of how friends have influenced them... To give a different perpective, I think being bullied at school had a huge impact on me. It made me incredibly shy and self-conscious - I have become less so, particularly in the last few years, but I'm still pretty shy - as well as more independent, and less concerned about being 'in with the in crowd'.

Sorry to hear that Georgi

I'm happy to see you don't hesitate to post also negative influences, often it's not the happy events in our life that influece us the most. Being bullied is a major influence, and for many people it takes many years to overcome the fear for people and the feeling of not being worth as much as others, that is often a consequence. Whereas often a very negative experience at the time, it may have beneficial effects later in life though.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Sun Jun 16, 2002 12:54 am

*hug* @Dottie and Georgi.
You guys both got bullied too, huh?

I was picked on for being 'weird' all through years 1 to 7, and even during high school it was only in year 12 that most people finally started being friendly. I was lucky in that I had, and still do have, a number of close friends from all through my high school years who generally stopped me from losing all sense of self-worth. Nonetheless, it still took me up until about two years ago to finally get over it. Much like you two being a target has reinforced the opinion that I'm going to behave as it pleases me, and conformity be damned.

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Sun Jun 16, 2002 12:59 am

@Ode: I cant say I was bullied, to percive one self as a social outcast and being bullied is imo very different.

Georgi · Post by **Georgi** » Sun Jun 16, 2002 1:04 am

*hug*@Ode don't they say that most kids get bullied at some point? Not that it makes it any less horrible an experience.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Sun Jun 16, 2002 1:18 am

I think most victims of bullying start to percieve themselves as social outcasts @Dottie, I know I did.
Yeah, they do @Georgi, but not usually for most of their childhood and a good portion of their adolescence.

Georgi · Post by **Georgi** » Sun Jun 16, 2002 1:24 am

Originally posted by Ode to a Grasshopper
I think most victims of bullying start to percieve themselves as social outcasts @Dottie, I know I did.

Yes, I think that is true...

Yeah, they do @Georgi, but not usually for most of their childhood and a good portion of their adolescence.

No, that is true... In my case it was on and off between the ages of about 8 and 16.