How many of you know someone with a fatal disease?

AbysmalNature · Post by **AbysmalNature** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 1:28 pm

How many of you know someone with a fatal disease?(No Spam)

It is morbid talk I agree, but I feel the need to talk about it, because someone close to me has a fatal disease, AIDS you know not a nice disease, you just waste away it is why I support euthanasia because there are just some ways which are not honorable to die. AIDS is not a pretty disease, and anyone begins spouting the crap that some people deserve it, then those people should have it. My family member takes pills every day, has seen friends husbands wives, bad people, good people, sad people happy people, all die while he still survived, many sad stories. Homosexuality, you know people like that are just people, I feel contempt for people who find enjoyment that such people get the disease, I met many decent people in my family member's support group, they are all dead now. No my family member is not gay, purely hetero, what some of you were probably thinking.

Do any of you have similar stories, whether it be Cancer or whatever?

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 1:51 pm

*hug*
Somebody close to me died from cancer a number of years ago.....seeing somebody suffer like that....knowing that you are completely helpless...... I know what this feels like.

And I agree with your comments re: AIDS....people who believe the disease to be some form of retribution are evil. Such individuals......had they lived during the Middle Ages would have been more than happy to assist in burning "witches" at the stake......

Kameleon · Post by **Kameleon** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 1:52 pm

Sorry...

EDIT: I really can't believe just how insensitive this post was. I did in fact have a family member who died of cancer a few years ago, and it was horrible, for us as well as them

So I do know how you feel.

And finally, all I can do is apologise. "Offensive" doesn't even begin to describe what I wrote

Bloodmist · Post by **Bloodmist** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 1:54 pm

You know i was just thinking about putting you on my ignore list.

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 1:56 pm

@Kameleon - while you chose to edit - why didn't you remove your original comment?

Kameleon · Post by **Kameleon** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 1:59 pm

This is entirely stupid since I started all this, but I must ask that you respect my edit and remove that quote. Thanks.

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 2:10 pm

For all of those that might intend posting a 'humourous' reply, you might stop to consider that cancer is not funny, and it is very likely that almost everyone here might have experienced it to some degree.

For me, it will be five years on the 20th that I lost a close family member. She wasn't the first, but she was young. She suffered greatly, but thankfully it was briefly.

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 2:16 pm

Well put Yshania.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 2:30 pm

I lost my grandfather to cancer when I as 11. We were really close, and loved going up to see him in the summer. He was one of those really loud, outgoing men that commanded respect and attention. I miss him a lot.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 5:34 pm

Re: How many of you know someone with a fatal disease?(No Spam)

Originally posted by AbysmalNature
It is morbid talk I agree, but I feel the need to talk about it, because someone close to me has a fatal disease, AIDS you know not a nice disease, you just waste away it is why I support euthanasia because there are just some ways which are not honorable to die. AIDS is not a pretty disease, and anyone begins spouting the crap that some people deserve it, then those people should have it.

I don't find it morbid at all AbysmalN, horrible wasting diseases is unfortunatly still part of human life and will be so for a long time to come, perhaps always.

I feel nothing but comtempt towards people who think a person deserved all illness such as AIDS just because they are gay. Whatever opinion a person might have of homosexuality, I regard it as inhumane to wish other people severe pain and fatal illness because of sexual orientation.

As for me personally, I am happy not to currently have anyone close to me suffering from a lethal disease. My paternal grandfather, who I was very close to, wasted away in cancer and finally died when I was 12. My maternal grandfather died in acute leukemia when I was 19, at least a quick and painless death. My maternal grandmother died of bile duct cancer 5 years ago, a quick but not painless way to go.
When I was a kid, my best friends father who was also a workmate of my father, wasted away in a then unknown neurological degenerative disorder. He died when we were 11, and witnessing his long and painful struggle with the disease was one of many factors behind my choice to take up brain research.

AbysmalNature · Post by **AbysmalNature** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 7:00 pm

In some ways, the drugs are the worst part of the disease, some of the them were so bad drugs such as AZT that the hair fell out, it was choice between the drugs and AIDS and that was not much better.

Aegis man sorry about your grandfather, my grandfather died of prostate cancer, and it was not a pleasant disease so I know how you feel, he died in a hospital bed surrouded by his family though, did not die alone.

Cancer isn't that pretty a disease either, nor is AIDS, leaves you feeling helpless, and you see your loved one waste away over the years or months, and a little of you dies each day he or she survives, over the years I have had to deal with the certainty of his death, and a part of me has died each time each year, I know this sounds selfish but you get to wishing that it would come soon rather then deal with that constant nagging fear of death.

Dragonwench, Yshania, C elegans *hugs* thank you for your consideration, feel better that there are others out there just now was feeling bad about it all, did not know who to talk to about it, this forum is suitably anonymous, and you guys gals are great.

Anyway sorry to be so depressing or personal, might have dredged up memories some do not find pleasant, I just had to talk to someone that would hear.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 7:30 pm

I know this sounds selfish but you get to wishing that it would come soon rather then deal with that constant nagging fear of death.

It is not selfish, but simply a way of articulating the pain you feel. I remember wishing that she would either get better or that it could be over with quickly so that we could all pick up the pieces and allow for the grief, and then the healing to begin.

Anyway sorry to be so depressing or personal, might have dredged up memories some do not find pleasant, I just had to talk to someone that would hear.

SYM is very much a community.... and I think that in addition to a place where we hang out to have fun, it is also somewhere to have a quiet reflective drink. Being there for one another, in this somewhat limited virtual way, I believe, is a part of what it means to be a community.

nael · Post by **nael** » Sat Apr 06, 2002 10:06 pm

3 grandfathers to cancer (don't ask about why there are three).
and one of my best friends to a rare virus that was misdiagnosed and mistreated. he ended up with an enlarged heart and when they were about to perform another surgery on him, they were explaining that he had a big heart, his response," tell me about it, i'm probably the nicest guy in the county"

he was, and everyone knew it. the only funeral i have seen larger was when a local cop died in the line of duty.

everyone else i know who has died, died from auto accidents or were murdered, and one suicide.

for being as young as i am, i have gone to WAY too many funerals.

oh wait, i just remembered i lost a fraternity brother to a brain tumor as well. and these are just the ones that weren't excessively old when they contracted some disease or another.

so, raise a glass tonight. toast to your loved ones that have passed, and turn to tell those still alive that you love them!

Ode to a Grasshopper · Sat Apr 06, 2002 11:22 pm

My uncle Phil had bowel cancer...but then he died. It was about seven years ago now, and I remember thinking it was really stupid because he was one of the healthiest guys I knew. He always ate well, did plenty of exercise. He was probably healthier than me, and he was in his 60s, for Christ's sakes! And then he dies from bowel cancer. I know cancer's not really related to how healthy you are, but it still seems just wrong somehow. I'm glad for his sake that he died at home surrounded by people he loved, not in a hospital all alone.

I had an another uncle who died from liver cancer when I was quite young, but I wasn't really that close to him. I do remember that he was one of the nicest guys I'd ever met, and I couldn't understand why he was dying while so amny horrible people got to go on living. I guess death never does make much sense, especially when you're young.

I think the one that stands out the most is my grandpa. When I was five my paternal grandfather died from lung cancer. No-one was really surprised, seeing as how he'd been a lifelong heavy smoker. I was too young to really understand what was going on, but I knew my grandpa was dying from lung cancer because he'd smoked too much. I've only really got two memories of him. The first was when we were eating dinner (some fish I'd caught that day) at his beach house and he asked me why I liked catching the fish and yet didn't like eating them after. The second is when I saw him a few weeks before he died. His face was ash gray, and he was coughing so much he was coughing up blood. I have a T-shirt the exact same shade of gray as his face was.

On the subject of voluntary euthanasia, I'm totally in agreement with it. I know that if I was terminally ill and the rest of my life was just going to consist of slowly wasting away, I'd sooner die while I was still comparably healthy, and be remembered that way. Not only that, but the pain and loss of dignity that terminally ill patients are forced to endure is incredible. If an animal were in the same situation it'd be put out of it's misery. With humans they're forced to endure it.

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Sun Apr 07, 2002 2:39 pm

Originally posted by AbysmalNature

Cancer isn't that pretty a disease either, nor is AIDS, leaves you feeling helpless, and you see your loved one waste away over the years or months, and a little of you dies each day he or she survives, over the years I have had to deal with the certainty of his death, and a part of me has died each time each year, I know this sounds selfish but you get to wishing that it would come soon rather then deal with that constant nagging fear of death.

*hug* don't feel selfish. I felt this way too, she was only 46, 13 years older than I am now and looking 30 years older than I in the last couple of weeks or so. Her suffering was thankfully brief, but her deterioration being so rapid...she knew little about it because of the drugs. I had to make the decision to turn off her life support, knowing she would never recover, yet she was leaving behind two young teenage boys (12 and 13) who we would have to care for, and a grandchild she would never meet. Cancer is not pretty, whether it is a long term suffering...this really takes it's toll, or a short suffering that leaves you equally helpless, and in a state of shock by the speed.

I have also lost all four grandparents to cancer, one I hadn't met, and my father-in-law. Again, all were very quick.

On a brighter note, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. Following an operation, radiation therapy etc she is now clear

She is 71, and has always lead an active life. She continues to do so, the only lingering hint is the continuing Tamoxifen (sp?) and the annual check ups

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Sun Apr 07, 2002 3:07 pm

Originally posted by dragon wench

SYM is very much a community.... and I think that in addition to a place where we hang out to have fun, it is also somewhere to have a quiet reflective drink. Being there for one another, in this somewhat limited virtual way, I believe, is a part of what it means to be a community.

I agree, and from my own experience this is what has set Gamebanshee apart from the other boards I have visited. I have met some very good friends here, and some of us now communicate outside of GB

Sailor Saturn · Post by **Sailor Saturn** » Sun Apr 07, 2002 3:16 pm

Re: Re: How many of you know someone with a fatal disease?(No Spam)

Originally posted by C Elegans
I feel nothing but comtempt towards people who think a person deserved all illness such as AIDS just because they are gay. Whatever opinion a person might have of homosexuality, I regard it as inhumane to wish other people severe pain and fatal illness because of sexual orientation.

It probably won't come as a surprise that I agree with you completely on this, CE.

My Uncle died of a cancer caused by AIDS on October 31, 1996. I have no idea what his sexual orientation was, nor do I care. Of all the people I've been close to, he's the one I was closest to.

My paternal Grandma died of cancer(I think) when I was 5-years-old.

My maternal Grandpa had diabetes and died of heart problems.

My paternal Grandpa died of lung cancer(after getting shot in the chest) long before I was born.

My maternal Grandma had a severe stroke in the early 90s.

My other Uncle had a terminal lung disease. He was 'miraculously healed' but he still has to have oxygen treatments because he only has part of a lung left.

My dad had colon cancer, but they operated and removed only days before it would've spread into the lympth(sp?) nodes, saving his life. That was about 18 years ago and the cancer has yet to come back.

josh · Post by **josh** » Sun Apr 07, 2002 4:44 pm

I lost an uncle I never knew to some unknown disease. My dad always says, losing a brother is like losing your right arm.

Jace · Post by **Jace** » Mon Apr 08, 2002 4:56 am

A guy that used to belonged to a gaming group I was in in Perth (Australia) died of complications from Hepatitis B. It was interesting (in a morbid and sometimes depressing way) to see how that group of people handled it. Some people tried to ignore the situation and him, others got very angry that he would still come, others where very supportive of him - sometimes to the point of beeing patronising. There was considerable homophobia from a minority. His main circle of friends (the gaming group numbered about 60 people with 30 being regulars) just treated him as normal as much as they could. The general feeling seemed to be mostly support, some ignoring of situation and a bit of hostility and fear (not openly expressed).

I think a common emotive response was uncertainess (I include myself in that). How do I deal with this person whom I sort of know, but not realy? How open should I be with any questions?
Is it appropriate to ask how he got this? How contaigous is he (especially when he has bad cold sores and other symptoms showing)?

It was a difficult time for a lot of people there (not the least him). I think that the most important lesson I learned from that is just how important it is to see people as people and not as situations or problems or diseases.

Nippy · Post by **Nippy** » Mon Apr 08, 2002 5:39 am

Originally posted by Ode to a Grasshopper
On the subject of voluntary euthanasia, I'm totally in agreement with it. I know that if I was terminally ill and the rest of my life was just going to consist of slowly wasting away, I'd sooner die while I was still comparably healthy, and be remembered that way. Not only that, but the pain and loss of dignity that terminally ill patients are forced to endure is incredible. If an animal were in the same situation it'd be put out of it's misery. With humans they're forced to endure it.

While I agree in the aspect of Euthanasia, I would like to do everything that I would like to, enjoy myself and then go...