Guess what...

Craig · Post by **Craig** » Wed Jul 04, 2001 1:42 pm

This is not what you think!

This useful tool, commonly found in the range of eight inches long, the functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes is usually hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other. When used it is inserted, almost always willingly, somtimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in and drawn out again many times in succession, often quickly, and accompanied by squirming bodily movements.

Anyone found listening in will most surely recognise the rhythmic pulsing sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements.

When finally drawn out, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening, and some from its long glistening shaft.

After everything is done, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.

What am I?

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Wed Jul 04, 2001 3:03 pm

Er....a daisy?

Brink · Post by **Brink** » Wed Jul 04, 2001 3:06 pm

@craig-I'm not sure what it is

.I'll get back to you later

@dragon wench-A daisy??

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Wed Jul 04, 2001 3:08 pm

I knows this one...

fable · Post by **fable** » Wed Jul 04, 2001 3:37 pm

I knew it, but I discarded that knowledge some time ago. You can only hold so much useless trivia in your head, and I had to chuck some stuff.

Vehemence · Post by **Vehemence** » Wed Jul 04, 2001 8:01 pm

I don't know what it is, but if it's man made, I can sure as hell tell you what the guy was thinking about when he made it!

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 4:37 am

@Fable - I would question whether you have ever chucked out any knowledge you have gained!lol! Unfortunately I can only ever retain Trivia, it comes down to a very short attention span that has worsened since I had kids!

@Vehemence - I would say it was man-made, but that has already been open to debate on another thread. It's creator was considering what you think he might have been at the time it was manufactured, and this 'tool' was created without direct thought but as a bi-product of his distraction.

We all have access to this tool and generally use it for exactly the same thing, though when distracted or bored it does tend to get more attention from some of us...

There is always the question whether it was created intentionally or by accident

Craig · Post by **Craig** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 10:04 am

@Yshainy ho wang po(sorry LOL) you're on the wrong track i think...

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 10:53 am

Originally posted by Yshania:
I knows this one...

Me to

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 12:12 pm

@Craig...Hmmm.okay rethinking. But I thought I had a good answer! I will tell you what I thought it was when you divulge the real answer.

If I am correct I will try and explain my cryptic ramblings.

Meanwhile back to the drawing board.....

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 12:23 pm

I definitely have it now!!!

And I will require large sums of money to reveal my first guess....

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 12:36 pm

Originally posted by craig:
What am I?

LOL. Mine doesn't have much girth (

) and I also put it in my mouth very frequently (and yes, I spit when I'm done)... though I would be upset if someone else placed it in any of their own orifices

Should I give it away, or are we still guessing?

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 12:41 pm

I don't share mine either - not even with my husband! I keep it all to myself, but it is rarely hung up - more like sheathed in a special container. By the way I swallow! I like the refreshing taste...

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 12:45 pm

I like the taste too

But I'm afraid I'll get sick if I swallow too much

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 12:50 pm

I heard this joke a while ago from an e-mail... I know what it is.

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 12:51 pm

@Waverley - apparently there is an ingredient that is well known to induce vomiting. And is your signature directed at me (feeling suddenly paranoid

)

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 12:51 pm

Mine doesn't have a hole .

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 12:55 pm

But some do - those that can be attached to vibrating devices....

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 12:57 pm

Originally posted by Yshania:
But some do - those that can be attached to vibrating devices....

Damn mine does

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Thu Jul 05, 2001 1:00 pm

@Yshania - I think Mr Twain's intent was for that quote to apply to everyone

I don't know about the vomit ingredient, but you will certainly gag if you put it in too far... unless you practise that type of thing.

Mine happens to be an angry red-purple color, and I did choose to go with stiff as opposed to soft, thank goodness.