From the net:
Idiots on the Computer
Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.
Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" key is.
AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.
Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was then heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.
Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the customer replied. When told "Egghead" was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."
Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring that the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a "cup holder"?" Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped; it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, like at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?" Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!
Computer Problems...
Computer Problems...
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
A couple from a danish computer magazine:
An user who called in because he/she couldn't use the diskdrive.
The computer promted to inset disk # 2, but it wouldn't fit in the drive, because the user didn't remove disk 1.
Another story, is that a user called into tech-support to complain that the cd-rom drive wasen't working.
Everytime she tried to open the drive, the computer rebooted.
She had pushed reset instead of the cd-rom drive.
[ 06-25-2001: Message edited by: Xandax ]
An user who called in because he/she couldn't use the diskdrive.
The computer promted to inset disk # 2, but it wouldn't fit in the drive, because the user didn't remove disk 1.
Another story, is that a user called into tech-support to complain that the cd-rom drive wasen't working.
Everytime she tried to open the drive, the computer rebooted.
She had pushed reset instead of the cd-rom drive.
[ 06-25-2001: Message edited by: Xandax ]
Insert signature here.
A very cute real life story:
A friend rang me asked why she couldn't open a Word file from a floppy disc. I gave her 101 different solutions, but nothing worked. At last, I asked her to check if the floppy was inserted properly in the disc drive. Her reply was: "Inserted? What do you mean by inserted?"
It had never occured to her that she had to put the floppy *in* the disc drive, she thought it would be enough just to "keep it nearby" on the desk.
A friend rang me asked why she couldn't open a Word file from a floppy disc. I gave her 101 different solutions, but nothing worked. At last, I asked her to check if the floppy was inserted properly in the disc drive. Her reply was: "Inserted? What do you mean by inserted?"
It had never occured to her that she had to put the floppy *in* the disc drive, she thought it would be enough just to "keep it nearby" on the desk.
"There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates
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