Hello, Kitty!

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 7:41 pm

(Pretend that you see a picture of a Khajiit Bandit here, please!)

Khajiit Bandit "Pay me one-hundred gold or else!"

King Author "Or else what?"

Khajiit Bandit "Or else I kill you!"

King Author "Ah, I see. So, are you hijacking the forum, or the thread?"

Khajiit Bandit "My name is 'Needles', so I need threads, not forums."

King Author "Needles, hijacking a thread is against the rules here. You
would be much better off hijacking the entire forum."

Needles "But I only need your fine threads not an entire forum."

King Author "Needles, what would you do with my fine threads if I handed them over to you?"

Needles "I'd wear them of course. Fine Needles needs fine threads!"

King Author "I used to be a Bard, but now I'm the 'King Author' and that is how I got such fine threads to wear. If you want such fine threads too, perhaps you should get a job and earn them."

Needles "Wait! I do have a job! I am a Bandit!"

King Author "How well does it pay?"

Needles "It pays me however much you have on you."

King Author "Hm. My wife wants a cat. You are a cat. Needles, I shall
take you to her and your new job will be, to be her cat. Here, kitty, kitty! Get in the pet carrier! There's some water and cat food inside and a nice toy mouse to play with. Oh, and there's a catnip stash somewhere in it."

Needles "Catnip?! No, sorry. I've been to a chapel cleric. I must not
become addicted again! You! You are a drug pusher! Get away from me!"

King Author "Are you sure that I can't interest you in a little bag?"

Needles "Even if I were interested, I only have fifty gold on me!"

King Author "Fifty? Well, lucky for you, that's exactly enough for what
I have to offer!"

Needles "Really? What a coincidence! It must be my lucky day. But..
There's something funny about this. Well, here, I give you my fifty gold!"

King Author takes the money as Needles gets inside the pet carrier. The lock is secured behind him. King Author's wife gets her new kitty after all and instead of paying one-hundred gold for one, he got paid fifty instead!

Will Round Robin rescue Needles from the clutches of King Author's wife? Or will Round Robin not even arrive on the scene? That depends on the first person to respond and/or reply to this posting! Ta-dah!

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:08 pm

Now, see? I found that hilarious.

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:07 am

Interlude!

fable wrote:Now, see? I found that hilarious.

Barda the Bard "Oh, you did, did you? Thank you very much for returning it. I've been looking for my hilarious for ages! Ever since my husband got promoted up to the 'King Author' level, just after 'Prince Author', you know. Here, Fable the Super Moderator. A bag of twenty-five gold Septims as a finder's fee. My husband went to fetch a cat for me. I love them so. He should be back at any moment any day now."

Junior "Good afternoon, Mother! Hey, who's this strange man? Oh, sir, are you a member of the bard guild? Can you tell me a fable until my father returns?"

Invisable Man · Post by **Invisable Man** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 1:49 pm

im so lost

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:10 pm

The Invisible Man!

Invisable Man wrote:im so lost

King Author "Who said, 'Boo!'?" (Turns around.)

Needles "I heard the invisible man say, "I'm so lost."

King Author "Hm. Needles, you're under the influence of catnip."

Needles "I may not be the leader of the 'Writer's Guild of Tamriel' and I may be under the influence of catnip, but I still heard what I heard!"

King Author "Thank you, Needles. I'll take that into consideration. Hm. Okay then, come out, come out, whomever you! Expose yourself to us! But uh, in a non-sexual way of course!"

Needles "Sorry, but I don't have any catnip to spare, if you're a Khajiit! But please, do come out and play!"

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 8:44 pm

Entry from "Wikipedia"!

A round-robin story, or simply "round robin," is a type of collaborative fiction or storytelling in which a number of authors each write chapters of a novel or pieces of a story, in rounds. Round-robin novels were invented in the 19th century, and later became a tradition particularly in science fiction. In modern usage, the term often applies to collaborative fan fiction, particularly on the Internet, though it can also refer to friends or family telling stories at a sleepover, around a campfire, etc.

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 8:44 am

These Two Asses Were On The Road When.....

Jack Ass "Hey, Hillary! Do you see what I see?"

Hillary Ass "I don't know. Is this about seeing a star high above?"

Jack Ass "Huh? Oh, no! Look up the road! Some Khajiit somehow convinced that Human to carry him around in a big box. Now that is a secret we should learn so that we can stop carrying or pulling Humans."

Hillary Ass "I understand, Jack. Hey, watch your step!"

Jack Ass "Watch my step? Why? It's just a... HEE HAW!" (Jack Ass falls into the hole he didn't see.)

Hillary Ass "Oh, Jack Ass! I told you to watch your step!" (She starts laughing at the ass in the hole.)

Jack Ass "Oh, what's so hilarious! If my legs are broken...."

Hillary Ass "Huh? I'm 'Hillary Ass'! Have you forgotten? Oh no! Instead of breaking your legs, I think that you hit your head!"

Meanwhile....

King Author "Well, Needles. I think the fumes of your catnip are getting to me. So much for a lost invisible man."

Needles "But... But... Oh, okay. Did you hear some braying?"

King Author "Oh, it must be that ass on the road ahead."

King Author lugs Needles over to Hillary Ass. He calms her down, and then straps the pet carrier to her back, with Needles still inside. Hillary looks confused about her plight and Jack's.

Needles "Oh, would you look at that! An ass in a hole! Man, this is good stuff!"

King Author "No, it isn't a catnip delusion! There is an ass in the hole down there! Poor creature!"

Needles "Hm. Looks like we have ourselves an ass-hole problem."

King Author "I have no more rope left to use this ass to haul that ass out of there with."

Needles "So I won't be seeing a king hauling ass after all."

King Author "Uh, no. Hauling a pus..."

Needles "Hey! Watch it! I'm a tom!"

King Author "Oh, I beg your pardon. Quite correct."

Meanwhile.....

Barda the Bard "Well, Junior. Did you enjoy Fable's fable?"

Junior "Yes, though he's no Aesop." (Looks at the fourth wall and winks.)

Barda the Bard "Oh, I wonder what is keeping your father."

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:41 pm

Ancotar To The Rescue! (2nd Attempt to post it!)

While the King Author, not the Gray Fox, and Needles ponder their ass-in-a-hole problem, Ancotar shakes his head in disbelief.

Ancotar "They start to talk to me. Then they walk away from me like I'm not even here! What, am I invisible or something? Oh... right."

Ancotar quickly catches up with the party and Hillary Ass brays.

Ancotar "Boo! Why did you two leave me behind like that? I'm lost! How rude to leave a lost person behind like that! All I did was step outside of Fort Caractacus to gather some Alchemy ingredients and then the next thing I knew, I was amongst the likes of you! Where am I?"

King Author, Needles, Hillary Ass, and Jack Ass all react by being startled, with the two four-legged ones braying.

Needles "I must be higher than a cub in a makeshift bong!"

King Author "Actually Needles, you're only ass high. Leave the mouse with the catnip stuffing alone for a moment. We need to discern why we both are hearing things that aren't there."

Ancotar "I am not a thing that isn't here! I am an elf who is here, just invisible! Can't you see that?!"

Needles "When I squint my eyes like Stuttering Jim of Dibbley, I think so. I can just make out the blurry figure of an elf."

King Author "I have an idea! Mister Invisible Elf! You must be aquainted at least with the Arcane Arts. Do you think that you can help us haul ass?"

Ancotar "I am more than just an aquaintance with Arcane Arts. He and I go way back to when we were children. But to answer your question, I have a Telekinesis Spell that I use to lift mass up to higher levels quite often as there is more than one level to my fort."

Hillary Ass "Oh your poor ass. I hope she isn't afraid of heights!"

Jack Ass "Why do you always assume it is another she like you?"

The people don't realize that the beasts of burden are talking and so they do their best to talk over what they perceive as ass braying.

Needles "So you use an ass in your line of work?"

Ancotar "My good Khajiit, I've never even used Goblin labor."

King Author "Never mind the fort. What about my male ass?"

Ancotar "Sure I can lift him out of this hole in the road. Just watch!"

The four of them watched as Ancotor worked his magic and got Jack out of the hole in the road. Then they had the Jack Ass drink some health potions, just to be safe. Ancotar made up a warning sign that read, "Beware of the Ass Hole!" Then he posted it in the front of the hole in the road. Little did the party know that it was actually an emergency foxhole made during a much earlier crisis than theirs. At least it wasn't a latrine though.

Ancotar "Now, where are we and how do I get back home from here?"

King Author pulls out his map to show it to Ancotar.

Arok2092 · Post by **Arok2092** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:53 pm

Interesting story here LSD1. I'm gonna walk away before my brain explodes. *whistles away quietly to himself

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:53 am

The fourth wall lounge!

Fable "Now, see? I found that hilarious."

Leo Star Dragon 1 "Why, thank you very much!"

The Invisible Man "I'm so lost."

Leo Star Dragon 1 "Well, welcome! You're in 'The Fourth Wall Lounge'. Have a refreshment and play some games if you like."

Arok 2092 "Interesting story here LSD1. I'm going to walk away before my brain explodes." *Whistles away quietly to himself .*

Leo Star Dragon 1 "But you never did tell us what happened to Aroks One through Two-Thousand-Ninety-One! Oh well. There's a cot if you need it. We also have some refreshments and a First-Aid Kit if you need them."

* * *

Entry from "Wikipedia":

The fourth wall is an element of fiction. Originally, the term referred to the imaginary "wall" at the front of the stage in a proscenium theater, through which the audience sees the action in the world of the play. The term now applies to the boundary between any fictional setting and its audience. When this boundary is broken (for example by an actor speaking to the audience directly through the camera in a television sitcom), it is called "breaking the fourth wall."

EDIT: Further replies should in theory, be made to "The Fourth Wall Lounge" section of this thread, rather than to a story element. Thanks for reading!

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 1:03 am

Ancotar's Anecdote!

After examining King Author's map, the party proceeds.

Ancotar "Hey, I have an amusing anecdote for you. I was in this place you may have heard of, being a Bard and all. One of the member's heads exploded! He ate a Mentos and drank some Coke at the same time! You should have been there!"

King Author "Hey, that's my guild's lounge. I wonder who it was. Anyway, Ancotar, thanks for your help. I need to get home with the cat and the asses. Barda lost Hillary Ass and I just found her and Jack too. You want to go to Aleswell, so we must part here."

Ancotar "Oh, well, okay. Farewell then."

The Party "Farewell Ancotar and thanks for your help!"

Ancotar makes it home as does the party.

King Author "Barda! Junior! I'm home! I got a cat named 'Needles' and I found your Hillary Ass and Junior's Jack Ass too!"

Barda the Bard "No you didn't! I paid Fable gold as a reward for finding
my hilarious!"

Junior "Mother still doesn't understand. Thanks Father for finding my ass and bringing it home."

King Author "You are welcome Son. But let it be a lesson to you. You wouldn't get your ass lost if you followed my advice. Jack's waiting for you. Go see him and take care of him."

Needles "May I get out now?"

Stay alert and check back often for further updates![/I] :laugh:

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:43 pm

Needles the Khajiit Cat!

Barda the Bard "Oh, my word! Aren't you the precious kitty! Hello, Kitty! Here, let me open the door for you!"

Needles is now out of the big pet carrier. He removes his bandit gear and hands it over to King Author who stows it away. Barda the Bard picks Needles up and carries him to her sofa where she lays down and cuddles Needles and strokes his fur.

Needles "Purr! Purr!"

King Author "I've completed that quest and a bonus quest at the same time. Now I shall go to the guild hall and talk about my quests!"

Well, seeing how nobody took up the Round Robin, I don't know if this is the end or not.

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:00 pm

I sincerely hope it isn't. I'm down with the flu, and this is one of the bright spots of my day.

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Sun Mar 08, 2009 3:36 am

Mixed Emotions!

fable wrote:I sincerely hope it isn't. I'm down with the flu, and this is one of the bright spots of my day.

Ah, gee thanks, Fable for the encouraging nice words!

Oh my gosh, you've got influenza!

Hm.

I guess or suppose that emotionally I came out even there, so I am just as I was before I read your reply then. Odd.

I broke even again!

LeoStarDragon1 · Post by **LeoStarDragon1** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:26 am

In Case You Didn't Notice!

The story is continued in the thread titled: "The Writers Guild of Tamriel".

(Unless I named it, "The Writers Guild of Cyrodiil"?)