Tarzan and Jane

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Mon Jul 09, 2001 8:28 am

Jane was growing increasingly enamored with Tarzan, but soon realized that the shy jungle man was never going to make the first move. Taking matters into her own hands, she decided to broach the subject with him. At first she talked in euphemisms, but she soon realized she had completely lost him. Finally she decided the direct approach would be best.

“What does Tarzan do for sex?” she asked.

“Tarzan not know sex.” Exasperated, Jane explained what sex was, and at last he seemed to understand. “Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.”

Jane was amused and just a bit shocked at his lack of knowledge. “Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I’m going to teach you the right way,” She said as she stripped down and crawled seductively over to him on all fours. Tarzan smiled and seemed to understand the concept. He dropped his loincloth, and timidly at first, but then more boldly stepped behind her before hesitating and giving her a tremendous kick to the groin. Jane doubled over and writhed on the ground in agony before finally regaining her composure enough to ask him, “What the hell did you do that for?”

“Tarzan learn, always check for bees.”

fable · Post by **fable** » Mon Jul 09, 2001 8:37 am

And this is the state of relationships between the sexes after tens of thousands of years to work things out.

Nippy · Post by **Nippy** » Mon Jul 09, 2001 8:37 am

ROTFLMGDAO! That was hilarious!

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Mon Jul 09, 2001 8:44 am

ROFL!

Raistlin · Post by **Raistlin** » Mon Jul 09, 2001 8:59 am

tut tut .. Johnny Weissmuller is dead yes ? Show some respect !

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Mon Jul 09, 2001 10:45 am

One day, after Tarzan and Jane had lived together in the jungle for some time, they happened upon a huge silverback gorilla on the opposite side of a stream from them. The silverback took an immediate interest in Jane and began thrashing about and pounding his chest. Tarzan told Jane, “He like Jane, but no like Tarzan. Fun to tease silly gorilla.” As Tarzan made faces at him, Jane wiggled her hips seductively and pursed her lips while blowing him kisses. As the gorilla went into a frenzy, Jane bent over and lifted her loincloth and mooned the beast. Not facing the creature, Jane didn’t see that the gorilla took a running start and swung over the stream on an overhead vine. Tarzan, however, saw in time and scampered up a tree as the gorilla grabbed Jane and began pawing her. Tarzan shrugged his shoulder and shouted down to her, “Not good Jane. Try tell *him* you have headache.”

Brink · Post by **Brink** » Mon Jul 09, 2001 1:17 pm

ROFLMAP

ThorinOakensfield · Post by **ThorinOakensfield** » Mon Jul 09, 2001 6:06 pm

ROFLMAO

If anybody else but Waverly posted this I'd be asking them if this is what they thought about in their spare time.