Euro-English
Euro-English
The Europeon Commission has just annouced an agreement whereby English will become the official langauge of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the neogotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan to what would be known as "Euro-english"
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, tis will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up any konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the the languag is disgrasful, and they should go away. Also, unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "eo" when sounding like "e"
By the fourth year, pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor troubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen, ve vil tak over ze vorld!!
As part of the neogotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan to what would be known as "Euro-english"
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, tis will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up any konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the the languag is disgrasful, and they should go away. Also, unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "eo" when sounding like "e"
By the fourth year, pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor troubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen, ve vil tak over ze vorld!!
- fable
- Posts: 30676
- Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2001 12:00 pm
- Location: The sun, the moon, and the stars.
- Contact:
Heh. I've seen this post several times, over the last few years. Kinda cute.
How do people in SYM feel about Esperanto? Just curious.
How do people in SYM feel about Esperanto? Just curious.
To the Righteous belong the fruits of violent victory. The rest of us will have to settle for warm friends, warm lovers, and a wink from a quietly supportive universe.
Popular sentences used in weaselbonics:
"Where's my monkey?"
"I spam,you spam"
"Wait till I get my tatar gun"
"Where do you want to spam today?"

"Where's my monkey?"
"I spam,you spam"
"Wait till I get my tatar gun"
"Where do you want to spam today?"
Proud SLURRite Assistant Scientist and Brewer of the Rolling Thunder (TM)- Visitors WELCOME !!!
[size=0](Feel free to join us for a drink, play some pool or even relax in a hottub - want to learn more? )[/size]
Progressing through life, one step at a time
[size=0](Feel free to join us for a drink, play some pool or even relax in a hottub - want to learn more? )[/size]
Progressing through life, one step at a time