Please note that new user registrations disabled at this time.

What Your Profession Says About You

Anything goes... just keep it clean.
Post Reply
User avatar
Vehemence
Posts: 3490
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2001 11:00 pm
Location: Pizza Place
Contact:

What Your Profession Says About You

Post by Vehemence »

What Your Profession Says About You:

1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.

2. SALES - Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

3. TECHNOLOGY - Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

4. ENGINEERING - One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest "ergo dynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel syndrome."

5. ACCOUNTING - The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

6. HUMAN RESOURCES - Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.

7. MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT - Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in you social circle is a "Middle Manager."

8. SENIOR MANAGEMENT - (See above - Same sign, different title)

9. CUSTOMER SERVICE - Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.

10. CONSULTANT - Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills" are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities without ever taking direct action.

11. RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER" - As a "person" that profits from the success of others, you are disdained by most people who actually work for a living. Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.

12. PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO - You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggest the latter.

13. GOVERNMENT WORKER - Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius inventors, like the invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from deep depression or anxiety and usually commit serious crimes while on the job... Thus the term "GO POSTAL"
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
User avatar
Mr Sleep
Posts: 11273
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 10:00 pm
Location: Dead End Street
Contact:

Post by Mr Sleep »

Where do you find all these Vehmence?

WHat about Web Designers :D
I'd have to get drunk every night and talk about virility...And those Pink elephants I'd see.
User avatar
Vehemence
Posts: 3490
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2001 11:00 pm
Location: Pizza Place
Contact:

Post by Vehemence »

Originally posted by Mr Sleep:
<STRONG>Where do you find all these Vehmence?

WHat about Web Designers :D </STRONG>
Question 1: *evil grin* :D

Question 2: Web designers would probably fit into the TECHNOLOGY section, I'd guess :)
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
User avatar
Mr Sleep
Posts: 11273
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 10:00 pm
Location: Dead End Street
Contact:

Post by Mr Sleep »

That sounds more like my boss, and you can mostly make sense of what i say, andi don't intend to rule the world (well maybe :D )
I'd have to get drunk every night and talk about virility...And those Pink elephants I'd see.
User avatar
KidD01
Posts: 5699
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 10:00 pm
Location: In the bunker underneath your house
Contact:

Post by KidD01 »

Some additions :
6. HUMAN RESOURCES - The biggest position for a butt kisser, especially to senior managements. On the other hand you also tend to look good in front of other employee as long as you pretend to fight for their rights. A total two headed snake :D

7. MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT - A total spineless jerk. Just some necktie wearer with tendency to cmoe late to office since they can come up with meeting excuse.

8. SENIOR MANAGEMENT - Guys with very big power and yet tend to corrupt that power by squeezing below layer employee. Their decision sometimes tend to make profit to high level only. Caution : You might not have moral conciousness for this positions.

12. PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO - Same as above but much sneakier

13. GOVERNMENT WORKER - Paid to take days off and after retirement age. People who go to office really late and go home really early.....some time the office are empty after lunch ! Not to mention they tend to ask for money before doing their job - not salary but certain payment :)

BTW V any job description for Security ?
I'm not dead yet :D :p :cool:
User avatar
Craig
Posts: 4996
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2000 11:00 pm
Location: England
Contact:

Post by Craig »

Student?
I'm Devious

This is my Gift. This is my Curse. Who am I? I'm SpiderCraig
User avatar
Weasel
Posts: 10202
Joined: Wed Nov 29, 2000 11:00 pm
Location: Gamebanshee Asylum
Contact:

Post by Weasel »

Where does *Selfemployed Jack of Trades, Master of Non* fall? :D
"Vile and evil, yes. But, That's Weasel" From BS's book, MD 20/20: Fine Wines of Rocky Flop.
User avatar
leedogg
Posts: 1274
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2001 11:00 pm
Location: Alabama
Contact:

Post by leedogg »

weasel- you more likely fit the *master of many trades,but don't want to do none* :rolleyes:
This has been a SPAM AND RUN by Leedogg
Post Reply