Advice on a friend.
- Siberys
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Advice on a friend.
Ok, I have this really good friend from high school, been friends with him for a good 5 years now until today.
I'm sitting there talking with him on an instant messenger program while watching the documentary "An Inconvenient truth." Now, my friend has never been a one sided biased man. He would always hear two sides of the story before forming his own opinion. Now, we both agree, in our own opinions, that Gore wasn't that much better of a politician choice for president than Bush. It's just our opinions, please don't turn this into an interrogation debate, it isn't the point of this thread.
Now, when I say he'll hear both sides of the story, I mean it. Not like when he feels like listening, but in every situation he's as open minded as buddha 95% of the time. Now, I tell him "Well, maybe Al Gore isn't as big as an idiot people made him out to be. I dunno how much of this information is fact, but one thing is for sure that he is putting quite a lot of effort into making this film not only informative but on a non political side. He rarely tries to force-feed his opinion onto others and convert them to his side."
This is what I said and What I've perceived from the first 30 minutes of this documentary. Now....his reaction is to sign off. And at first, I was really just hoping his computer froze or something, but no, I went to ask another friend who's friends with both of us and I ask "Hey, have you ever known Ark to be biased or anything? We just got out of a small debate and he signed off, I'm hoping that his computer froze or somethin."
The new guy I'm talking to responds with "Yeah, actually he just told me that you were talking about global warming, then he blocked you for some reason."
So....I have no idea what just happened. I mean, here's a guy who's open minded about many issues in the world, who will form his own opinion rather than conform to left or right sides, he listens to everybody's point of views and so forth, and he just stormed off because I said Al Gore might just be speaking pure fact about global warming. (I could search information, but it's so hard to find a reliable source now these days with subjects that became or are generally political issues). I didn't even say that it was all fact, all I said was that if it was fact, then Al Gore does have quite the point about this and he very well constructed this movie, he did quite brilliantly.
I'm sincerely hoping that we can just drop this if he comes back on tommorrow, but if it comes up again, what should I say? Should I just keep trying to drop it if I can, and if he doesn't let it go, should I even bother talking to him anymore? Do note that I really would like to continue being friends with a guy who went to high school with me for all 4 years and is still keeping in contact with me.
I'm sitting there talking with him on an instant messenger program while watching the documentary "An Inconvenient truth." Now, my friend has never been a one sided biased man. He would always hear two sides of the story before forming his own opinion. Now, we both agree, in our own opinions, that Gore wasn't that much better of a politician choice for president than Bush. It's just our opinions, please don't turn this into an interrogation debate, it isn't the point of this thread.
Now, when I say he'll hear both sides of the story, I mean it. Not like when he feels like listening, but in every situation he's as open minded as buddha 95% of the time. Now, I tell him "Well, maybe Al Gore isn't as big as an idiot people made him out to be. I dunno how much of this information is fact, but one thing is for sure that he is putting quite a lot of effort into making this film not only informative but on a non political side. He rarely tries to force-feed his opinion onto others and convert them to his side."
This is what I said and What I've perceived from the first 30 minutes of this documentary. Now....his reaction is to sign off. And at first, I was really just hoping his computer froze or something, but no, I went to ask another friend who's friends with both of us and I ask "Hey, have you ever known Ark to be biased or anything? We just got out of a small debate and he signed off, I'm hoping that his computer froze or somethin."
The new guy I'm talking to responds with "Yeah, actually he just told me that you were talking about global warming, then he blocked you for some reason."
So....I have no idea what just happened. I mean, here's a guy who's open minded about many issues in the world, who will form his own opinion rather than conform to left or right sides, he listens to everybody's point of views and so forth, and he just stormed off because I said Al Gore might just be speaking pure fact about global warming. (I could search information, but it's so hard to find a reliable source now these days with subjects that became or are generally political issues). I didn't even say that it was all fact, all I said was that if it was fact, then Al Gore does have quite the point about this and he very well constructed this movie, he did quite brilliantly.
I'm sincerely hoping that we can just drop this if he comes back on tommorrow, but if it comes up again, what should I say? Should I just keep trying to drop it if I can, and if he doesn't let it go, should I even bother talking to him anymore? Do note that I really would like to continue being friends with a guy who went to high school with me for all 4 years and is still keeping in contact with me.
Listen up maggots, Mr. Popo's 'bout to teach you the pecking order.
It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.
~Mr. Popo, Dragonball Z Abridged
It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.
~Mr. Popo, Dragonball Z Abridged
I'm not sure why your friend blocked you on IM, and perhaps you shouldn't jump to conclusions. Maybe it was only a "temporary ban", or maybe it was just his way of telling you to drop the subject. There are so many different ways to read it, you need more information before you can decide what, if anything, you should do next.
The issue of global warming is, unfortunately, more of an ideological battle than anything else at this point. I'm not a scientist and I don't have access to every relevant piece of information, so I don't know whether manmade global warming is going to destroy us all or not. But my overall set of moral and political values has a tendency to make me "choose a side" since it's potentially such an important issue. I suspect the same is true of most other people.
The problem with ideological battles, of course, is that people have a tendency to fight for their own values at all costs. For example, people who don't even have much income from capital gains still fight tooth and nail to eliminate the capital gains tax, not because their own interests are at stake, but because to them, it's part of a larger moral struggle to shape the world according to their own value. (Besides, they have a tendency to think "I could be making a lot of income from capital gains someday and I want a tax break when I do" and so they think they have a personal interest in it.) Conservatives want their values to win, and liberals want their values to win, so conservatives and liberals have a way of setting themselves up in an adversarial position no matter what the facts or the issues are. It's a struggle over whose values will "rule America" (as if values can compete with apathy and the pursuit of pleasure).
Unfortunately, friends can lose their friendship over things like that. Maybe you and your friend are just drifting apart anyway, and a disagreement over something like global warming merely reinforces his perception that the two of you don't have much in common anymore. Or maybe he still wants to be friends with you and he's just jerking you around because you annoyed him with your not-so-liberal-but-still-"liberal"-enough pronouncements about the highly polarizing phenomenon known as "Al Gore". It's too soon too tell.
Keep in mind that people can change as they get older, especially when they're in college. Eighteen-year-olds are often insulted when people like me tell them "you won't be the same person in four years" because they think they're already grown up thank-you-very-much-and-who-the-hell-are-you, but nine times out of ten, if you ask them four years later whether they have changed, they'll tell you, "Oh God, yes; I didn't realize how little I knew back then." In my own case, I became a different type of thinker after four years of college, as demonstrated by my relative scores on the SAT (maximum score in math and a relatively lower score in verbal) and the GRE (maximum score in verbal and relatively lower scores in math and logic). I had less interest in science and math and a greater appreciation for history and culture, among other things. And then of course there were "little" things like going from a devout believer in God to being a confirmed atheist. Maybe your friend is changing, too. It's a perfectly normal thing.
Most of my own family and friends here in Texas are ignorant, provincial hicks who support completely self-contradictory conservative "values". I do get frustrated, and I feel like I'm dealing with three-year-olds on a daily basis. ("It doesn't matter what Bush does because Bill Clinton was such a bad person. Let me forward an email chain letter to you. Did you hear the one about..." etc., etc.) Needless to say, I have developed a very thick skin and a great deal of patience. But as I've tried to explain to people, our political and "philosophical" differences (if "philosophy" applies to people who don't know the first thing about it) do not interfere with our relationships. We have common interests and strong bonds, and we do a lot of other, more important things together besides talking about politics. I care about them, and they care about me. They are genuinely interested in me as a person, and they care about things like how my relationship with my boyfriend is going, and they know my cats' names. If I struck up a conservation with some random moderate or liberal on the street, we might agree on a few political issues and we might have an interesting conservation (if we didn't start arguing with each other over details), but it wouldn't give me the same satisfaction as, say, taking one of my elderly neighbors on a shopping trip.
Therefore, I say to you, if you and your friend can continue your relationship based on mutual interests and the common ground that is created by investing time and energy in each other's company, then your political differences should not be a big deal, in my opinion. But if your relationship in high school was merely a social alliance based on convenience and your paths in life are diverging, then don't expect him to continue seeking your company if he moves on and finds new friends that are more appealing to him. Only time will tell.
Good luck!
The issue of global warming is, unfortunately, more of an ideological battle than anything else at this point. I'm not a scientist and I don't have access to every relevant piece of information, so I don't know whether manmade global warming is going to destroy us all or not. But my overall set of moral and political values has a tendency to make me "choose a side" since it's potentially such an important issue. I suspect the same is true of most other people.
The problem with ideological battles, of course, is that people have a tendency to fight for their own values at all costs. For example, people who don't even have much income from capital gains still fight tooth and nail to eliminate the capital gains tax, not because their own interests are at stake, but because to them, it's part of a larger moral struggle to shape the world according to their own value. (Besides, they have a tendency to think "I could be making a lot of income from capital gains someday and I want a tax break when I do" and so they think they have a personal interest in it.) Conservatives want their values to win, and liberals want their values to win, so conservatives and liberals have a way of setting themselves up in an adversarial position no matter what the facts or the issues are. It's a struggle over whose values will "rule America" (as if values can compete with apathy and the pursuit of pleasure).
Unfortunately, friends can lose their friendship over things like that. Maybe you and your friend are just drifting apart anyway, and a disagreement over something like global warming merely reinforces his perception that the two of you don't have much in common anymore. Or maybe he still wants to be friends with you and he's just jerking you around because you annoyed him with your not-so-liberal-but-still-"liberal"-enough pronouncements about the highly polarizing phenomenon known as "Al Gore". It's too soon too tell.
Keep in mind that people can change as they get older, especially when they're in college. Eighteen-year-olds are often insulted when people like me tell them "you won't be the same person in four years" because they think they're already grown up thank-you-very-much-and-who-the-hell-are-you, but nine times out of ten, if you ask them four years later whether they have changed, they'll tell you, "Oh God, yes; I didn't realize how little I knew back then." In my own case, I became a different type of thinker after four years of college, as demonstrated by my relative scores on the SAT (maximum score in math and a relatively lower score in verbal) and the GRE (maximum score in verbal and relatively lower scores in math and logic). I had less interest in science and math and a greater appreciation for history and culture, among other things. And then of course there were "little" things like going from a devout believer in God to being a confirmed atheist. Maybe your friend is changing, too. It's a perfectly normal thing.
Most of my own family and friends here in Texas are ignorant, provincial hicks who support completely self-contradictory conservative "values". I do get frustrated, and I feel like I'm dealing with three-year-olds on a daily basis. ("It doesn't matter what Bush does because Bill Clinton was such a bad person. Let me forward an email chain letter to you. Did you hear the one about..." etc., etc.) Needless to say, I have developed a very thick skin and a great deal of patience. But as I've tried to explain to people, our political and "philosophical" differences (if "philosophy" applies to people who don't know the first thing about it) do not interfere with our relationships. We have common interests and strong bonds, and we do a lot of other, more important things together besides talking about politics. I care about them, and they care about me. They are genuinely interested in me as a person, and they care about things like how my relationship with my boyfriend is going, and they know my cats' names. If I struck up a conservation with some random moderate or liberal on the street, we might agree on a few political issues and we might have an interesting conservation (if we didn't start arguing with each other over details), but it wouldn't give me the same satisfaction as, say, taking one of my elderly neighbors on a shopping trip.
Therefore, I say to you, if you and your friend can continue your relationship based on mutual interests and the common ground that is created by investing time and energy in each other's company, then your political differences should not be a big deal, in my opinion. But if your relationship in high school was merely a social alliance based on convenience and your paths in life are diverging, then don't expect him to continue seeking your company if he moves on and finds new friends that are more appealing to him. Only time will tell.
Good luck!
Internet "friends" are a bore. The biggest problem with meeting people on the net and becoming "friends" is that everyone has an image that they present online. For some/most people it involves kissing a lot of furry butt to become popular. Sadly/luckily we haven't reached the point where online "friendships" are based on actual human interaction. When I first started making myself present in forums online back in -99, I made a lot of new "friends" who turned sour. After having bombed numerous times, I made a point out of visiting them personally. Luckily I have the means and the ability to travel, so I made a point of meeting the people I cared about personally. It has led to many disasters, but also to a lot of fantastic experiences. Case in point: I wouldn't go to Canada without giving Dragon Wench a holler. We might meet up over some bottles of red and dislike each other in real life so much that we'd never speak again. I want to go to Copenhagen and meet Xandax, preferably with C Elegans and her spouse present. The internet isn't enough, it's just a doorstep.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if this "friend" blocks you because of a statement that you made that is your opinion, then he/she ain't worth having as a friend.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if this "friend" blocks you because of a statement that you made that is your opinion, then he/she ain't worth having as a friend.
I am not young enough to know everything. - Oscar Wilde
Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have!
Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have!
- Siberys
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@moonbiter, he's not an internet friend. We went to high school together for three years basically.
Anyways, it didn't come up again and he unblocked me. We're talking once again and nothing seems to be going wrong.
Anyways, it didn't come up again and he unblocked me. We're talking once again and nothing seems to be going wrong.
Listen up maggots, Mr. Popo's 'bout to teach you the pecking order.
It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.
~Mr. Popo, Dragonball Z Abridged
It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.
~Mr. Popo, Dragonball Z Abridged
- Siberys
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I've given up politics for good. And that's the only subject where we might ever get into a real conflict about. So, I doubt I'll be mentioning it so long as everything keeps going smoothly.Coot wrote:That's nice to hear. Are you planning on talking about the blocking to him or would you rather leave it like this?
Listen up maggots, Mr. Popo's 'bout to teach you the pecking order.
It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.
~Mr. Popo, Dragonball Z Abridged
It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.
~Mr. Popo, Dragonball Z Abridged
- dragon wench
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Siberys,Siberys wrote:I've given up politics for good. And that's the only subject where we might ever get into a real conflict about. So, I doubt I'll be mentioning it so long as everything keeps going smoothly.
Clearly, it is your call and your friendship..
But, if you can't be yourself with somebody, or if you feel that you can't discuss something for fear of disagreement destroying the "friendship".. then is this really something worth maintaining?
I have friends on all sides of the political fence. With those who generally share my views I have long rambling discussions, with those whose opinions differ to my own we have discussions infused with much friendly debate. But, you know what? We respect and tolerate one another's views. That, IMO, is the mark of a true friendship.
If somebody cannot accept you for the person you honestly are, then in my humble opinion, they are not worth knowing.
Often, at an organisational level, where smooth teamwork is critical, it is generally preferable to avoid disagreement over politics, religion etc. The workplace is one such example. But.. in a friendship, this should not be necessary.. this is a place where you should be able to fully express the person you really are.
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If I had to take a wild guess, I'd say on that particular day your friend was pretty beat and didn't really want to mix it up on one of the few issues he really holds a solid opinion about it. In hindsight, simply admitting that instead of just dropping the conversation would have been a smarter move.
Siberys, it looks like your friend was just trying to avoid a discussion about global warming. If you want to be friends with him, then take the hint and accept the fact that he doesn't want to talk about political issues with you. If everything else is fine, I don't see anything wrong with continuing your friendship and getting as much out of it as you can.
I think there are different levels of friendships, and there's nothing wrong with any of them. One the one hand, you have "best friends forever", those supposedly "perfect" relationships where people never get into arguments and they believe that their relationship will "never change no matter what." Good luck finding one of those. Other, lesser kinds of friendships might be limited to one particular social activity such as shopping, card games, parties, or sports, etc. Those relationships are real and meaningful. Even if they're not the kind of friends you can dump all of your problems onto, it's okay, they're still your friends. Even if you have political disagreements, it's okay. You just have to limit yourself to appropriate conversational material. I guess the best way to put it is that they will accept you as a person and like you as long as you don't force something unpleasant on them just because you insist on stating your own opinion or if you insist on being "respected" for having views that are different from theirs.
On an unrelated note, your post made me think about something that annoys me. I have a problem with "deal breakers". A "deal breaker" is one thing about a person that will cause you to terminate a relationship when everything else about that person is wonderful or at least tolerable. I realize that some behavioral or mental traits are unacceptable, but the idea that you should cast someone into the abyss because of one thing strikes me as extreme and shortsighted. You can change your relationship without terminating it completely. It doesn't have to be "all or nothing".
--That is, unless you have an "all or nothing" mentality. That's what really annoys me: the idea that if everything isn't perfect, then it's time to end a relationship completely and look for something better. It's the same thing when people say things like, "If you won't marry me, then I don't ever want to see you again." See, it has to be all or nothing. How annoying.
In my opinion, if you can't accept a friendship that falls short of your perfect ideal of a friendship and you're willing to turn your back on your "friends" at the drop of a hat, then don't waste their time. If it's going to be "all or nothing", then don't wait for the inevitable catastrophe to happen (and it will); just call it off right now. If you're going to be upset ten years from now because you feel like you wasted your time and you can't believe you allowed it to happen, then you don't need a crystal ball to figure out that you need to walk away from a "disaster in the making" before it's too late. Sure, everything looks perfect now, but just wait.
I think there are different levels of friendships, and there's nothing wrong with any of them. One the one hand, you have "best friends forever", those supposedly "perfect" relationships where people never get into arguments and they believe that their relationship will "never change no matter what." Good luck finding one of those. Other, lesser kinds of friendships might be limited to one particular social activity such as shopping, card games, parties, or sports, etc. Those relationships are real and meaningful. Even if they're not the kind of friends you can dump all of your problems onto, it's okay, they're still your friends. Even if you have political disagreements, it's okay. You just have to limit yourself to appropriate conversational material. I guess the best way to put it is that they will accept you as a person and like you as long as you don't force something unpleasant on them just because you insist on stating your own opinion or if you insist on being "respected" for having views that are different from theirs.
While I agree that friends should respect each other, I still believe that compromise is always necessary. You should always be yourself, but even so, there are still a lot of things that you should keep to yourself. (That's the compromise.) I accept my friends for who they are, but that doesn't mean I want to know everything about them. I could probably accept about 75% of who they are, but I'd rather not know anything about the other 25%.dragon wench wrote:Siberys,
Clearly, it is your call and your friendship..
But, if you can't be yourself with somebody, or if you feel that you can't discuss something for fear of disagreement destroying the "friendship".. then is this really something worth maintaining?
...
If somebody cannot accept you for the person you honestly are, then in my humble opinion, they are not worth knowing.
On an unrelated note, your post made me think about something that annoys me. I have a problem with "deal breakers". A "deal breaker" is one thing about a person that will cause you to terminate a relationship when everything else about that person is wonderful or at least tolerable. I realize that some behavioral or mental traits are unacceptable, but the idea that you should cast someone into the abyss because of one thing strikes me as extreme and shortsighted. You can change your relationship without terminating it completely. It doesn't have to be "all or nothing".
--That is, unless you have an "all or nothing" mentality. That's what really annoys me: the idea that if everything isn't perfect, then it's time to end a relationship completely and look for something better. It's the same thing when people say things like, "If you won't marry me, then I don't ever want to see you again." See, it has to be all or nothing. How annoying.
In my opinion, if you can't accept a friendship that falls short of your perfect ideal of a friendship and you're willing to turn your back on your "friends" at the drop of a hat, then don't waste their time. If it's going to be "all or nothing", then don't wait for the inevitable catastrophe to happen (and it will); just call it off right now. If you're going to be upset ten years from now because you feel like you wasted your time and you can't believe you allowed it to happen, then you don't need a crystal ball to figure out that you need to walk away from a "disaster in the making" before it's too late. Sure, everything looks perfect now, but just wait.
- Siberys
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Sometimes it might just be worth it.But, if you can't be yourself with somebody, or if you feel that you can't discuss something for fear of disagreement destroying the "friendship".. then is this really something worth maintaining?
Yeah, true. Like I said, I didn't know if you were truly furious with me or it just happened because. But at least it's over (oh and ladies and gentlemen, the dude on the other IM).If I had to take a wild guess, I'd say on that particular day your friend was pretty beat and didn't really want to mix it up on one of the few issues he really holds a solid opinion about it. In hindsight, simply admitting that instead of just dropping the conversation would have been a smarter move.
Listen up maggots, Mr. Popo's 'bout to teach you the pecking order.
It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.
~Mr. Popo, Dragonball Z Abridged
It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.
~Mr. Popo, Dragonball Z Abridged
- Crenshinibon
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Politics tend to be a very touchy subject. I know several people that keep all political opinions to themselves and never tell their significant others of the choice and I guess I kind of agree with them. After politics ruined my last relationship, I keep my preferences to myself. I don't know. It's kind of hard to tell sometime what people are willing and unwilling to talk about. It's easier to read the signs in person that from typed out words.
“The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially.”
- dragon wench
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[QUOTE=Von Dondu]On an unrelated note, your post made me think about something that annoys me. I have a problem with "deal breakers". A "deal breaker" is one thing about a person that will cause you to terminate a relationship when everything else about that person is wonderful or at least tolerable.[/QUOTE]
Actually, I concur with you on that. It is somewhat like people who go into a relationship thinking they can change those things about the person that they don't like. So yes, you do need to be flexible, and, in fact, I am.
I suppose my attitude in friendships can be summed up as "This is who I am, if we disagree I'll always respect your opinions, but I expect the same from you."
I think the other point to be made here is that there often seems to be a certain expectation in North America that friends have to agree on most things... I have noticed this far less in European cultures...
Sure, we generally form friendships with people because we share certain commonalities or interests, that's obvious. But, surely there should be room for cordial disagreement???
Also, personally, I become quite annoyed when I get the impression that somebody is agreeing with me simply because they don't want to risk possible conflict. As I said, in the workplace and similar environments, trying one's best to encourage social harmony is a desirable thing... but I've always felt friendships are one place where you should be able to let your hair down and be accepted for the person you truly are.
[QUOTE=Siberys]Sometimes it might just be worth it.[/QUOTE]
Hey, like I said, it's your friendship. I'm just spouting my opinions
[QUOTE=Moonbiter]Case in point: I wouldn't go to Canada without giving Dragon Wench a holler. We might meet up over some bottles of red and dislike each other in real life so much that we'd never speak again.[/QUOTE]
lol!
You know anything is possible. Of course, we could end up consuming so much red that none of us would be able to remember if we liked one another or not. :laugh:
Seriously, do indeed look me up if ever you make it to the west coast of the country. I've met several SYMers, and I've had lots of fun on each occasion.
Actually, I concur with you on that. It is somewhat like people who go into a relationship thinking they can change those things about the person that they don't like. So yes, you do need to be flexible, and, in fact, I am.
I suppose my attitude in friendships can be summed up as "This is who I am, if we disagree I'll always respect your opinions, but I expect the same from you."
I think the other point to be made here is that there often seems to be a certain expectation in North America that friends have to agree on most things... I have noticed this far less in European cultures...
Sure, we generally form friendships with people because we share certain commonalities or interests, that's obvious. But, surely there should be room for cordial disagreement???
Also, personally, I become quite annoyed when I get the impression that somebody is agreeing with me simply because they don't want to risk possible conflict. As I said, in the workplace and similar environments, trying one's best to encourage social harmony is a desirable thing... but I've always felt friendships are one place where you should be able to let your hair down and be accepted for the person you truly are.
[QUOTE=Siberys]Sometimes it might just be worth it.[/QUOTE]
Hey, like I said, it's your friendship. I'm just spouting my opinions
[QUOTE=Moonbiter]Case in point: I wouldn't go to Canada without giving Dragon Wench a holler. We might meet up over some bottles of red and dislike each other in real life so much that we'd never speak again.[/QUOTE]
lol!
You know anything is possible. Of course, we could end up consuming so much red that none of us would be able to remember if we liked one another or not. :laugh:
Seriously, do indeed look me up if ever you make it to the west coast of the country. I've met several SYMers, and I've had lots of fun on each occasion.
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- Siberys
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Oh, I know. I'm just saying, sometimes it might just be worth it for a friendship for you to change your opinion here and there.dragon wench wrote:Hey, like I said, it's your friendship. I'm just spouting my opinions![]()
In reality, aside from a very few select choice of friends, I've never been able to keep anybody in a friendship for more than half a year. Some would find me too annoying or just too different, occasionally some would change for no apparent reason whatsoever. The worst kind of friend is where he or she would change the friendship based on what other people think of me, just out of pure popularity.
This has actually happened since kindergarten. I actually had to switch schools in the fourth grade because of how many teachers and students viewed me, and even though the school was a rather biased place, it's still rather uncomfortable to know that I had to go to a different school because people didn't like me. Middle school was the worst, as it was the stage where people were gaining that slight bit of maturity but it was still being overpowered with that hyperactive kiddy immaturity. I actually had a total of three classes totally avoid me even just where I sat in the classroom due to a bad haircut.
Highschool started out rough, but by sophomore year, I was gaining a few friends. I lost several in the process as well, but currently, there's only four people I like from high school who are actually still friends with me. My girlfriend, my two gaming buddies, and Ark.
With my kind of life, changing my opinion to conform to other people's, while a hypocritical paradox to myself, is worth it to have some people like me. If the phrase "Everybody in school wants to pick on me" is actually a true statement, then after 10 years of schooling I'll be damn sure to know what I'm doing in how to keep a friend.
Listen up maggots, Mr. Popo's 'bout to teach you the pecking order.
It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.
~Mr. Popo, Dragonball Z Abridged
It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.
~Mr. Popo, Dragonball Z Abridged
- dragon wench
- Posts: 19609
- Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2001 10:00 pm
- Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
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I do hear you Sib,
and trust me, some of my own background is not so different. Between excessive moving and changing schools, an introspective personality, periodic skin problems, and a wonky accent, school, from K to 12, was not exactly an enjoyable experience for me either, and at any given time I only ever had a small handful of real friends. I guess I just handled it a little differently; instead of attempting to change I clung to my core and effectively shut out the world.
However, when I went to university all of that radically changed. For the first time in my life I was meeting all kinds of people with whom I got along well, and I was accepted without question or expectations.
So, what I'm saying is that I do understand.
and trust me, some of my own background is not so different. Between excessive moving and changing schools, an introspective personality, periodic skin problems, and a wonky accent, school, from K to 12, was not exactly an enjoyable experience for me either, and at any given time I only ever had a small handful of real friends. I guess I just handled it a little differently; instead of attempting to change I clung to my core and effectively shut out the world.
However, when I went to university all of that radically changed. For the first time in my life I was meeting all kinds of people with whom I got along well, and I was accepted without question or expectations.
So, what I'm saying is that I do understand.
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