On this particular occasion I was putting my time to good use by writing in my journal, but after a certain point I decided I could not cope with introspection for the remainder of the trip... so I snuck off to the gift shop in search of some mindless reading material. A few moments later I returned to my seat where I furtively opened up a Cosmo magazine...
I don't normally read this stuff, but it had been a long and stressful few weeks Within I found this moderately amusing page....
10 Signs You Need To Get Some Action
1. If your mailman were even moderately less obese and didn't have hair on his hands, you'd be all over that
2. Your mother goes out of her way to tell you "those new laws in Vermont and Massachusetts" are just fine with her.
3. You wonder if the models in those Subway ads are already romantically involved
4. In the grocery store you find yourself lingering near the cucumbers
5. You're developing carpal tunnel syndrome and it ain't from typing
6. Try as you may, you just can't remember why you dumped any of your exes
7. The apartment is dusted, your check-book is balanced, and you're finding time to volunteer
8. In your swimsuit, you notice your bikini line scarily ressembles a redwood forest
9. Just moments ago, you agreed to let your parents hook you up with some guy they met on their Be a Better Christian Retreat
10. Your box of condoms has not only expired, but the brand has gone out of business.
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