Dwarves in fantasy: Underappreciated?

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Mon May 12, 2003 2:34 pm

Re: Could this be the Moderator's Stone?

Originally posted by frogus
Hell, fish-slapping has lasted very well - but frankly I think it may be slightly past the sell by date.

not in real life it isn't.

Georgi · Post by **Georgi** » Mon May 12, 2003 10:52 pm

Originally posted by frogus
Hell, fish-slapping has lasted very well - but frankly I think it may be slightly past the sell by date.

And I thought that smell was just Aegis' aftershave...

Galuf the Dwarf · Post by **Galuf the Dwarf** » Tue May 13, 2003 6:53 am

*puts a sleeping moon elf into the cup of a catapult*

AIR MAIL!!!

*cuts the string, aimed for a keg full of pickled turnips*

Oh. Approximately 124 miles off target. *elf lands in a tree*

*curses his luck in various words of ancient dwarven tongue*

Galuf the Dwarf · Post by **Galuf the Dwarf** » Wed May 14, 2003 7:23 am

Well, then there's that battle I kind of posted in my topic "You Know You're Wierd When..."

It's oh unarmed me taking on an army of kobolds. Throwing more dwarves into it will spoil the fun.

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Wed May 14, 2003 11:59 am

Originally posted by Georgi
And I thought that smell was just Aegis' aftershave...

Ocean not wide enough to protect you?

Galuf,
There is a shortage of rotund psychotics in the world, well at least in *my* world.

I support you in your quest to bring them more prestige.

Bordin_Steelaxe · Post by **Bordin_Steelaxe** » Wed May 14, 2003 4:02 pm

You try to toss me... It'll prolly be your first time to do such a thing, but most importantly of all, the last thing you'll ever *attempt* to do.

fable · Post by **fable** » Wed May 14, 2003 6:37 pm

Originally posted by Bordin_Steelaxe
You try to toss me... It'll prolly be your first time to do such a thing, but most importantly of all, the last thing you'll ever *attempt* to do.

You see what I mean...? Just imagine how that would work out if, in the middle of combat, several of your dwarven bombardment squad woke up on the wrong side of the rock, perhaps with their beards caught in their shorts, or angry at being awakened in the middle of a dream involving three lustful Elven princesses and a leather boutique. Can you truly risk this? Dwarven temperament being what it is, that's yet another reason why you'll want to consider either gnomes or halflings the next time you're planning a battle, and need aerial weapons. Smaller matters than this caused the loss of empires. Heed my words: dwarves are *not* the automatic best weapon of choice, under any situation!

Thank you for the floor.

Bordin_Steelaxe · Post by **Bordin_Steelaxe** » Sun May 25, 2003 1:17 pm

Originally posted by fable
You see what I mean...? Just imagine how that would work out if, in the middle of combat, several of your dwarven bombardment squad woke up on the wrong side of the rock, perhaps with their beards caught in their shorts, or angry at being awakened in the middle of a dream involving three lustful Elven princesses and a leather boutique. Can you truly risk this? Dwarven temperament being what it is, that's yet another reason why you'll want to consider either gnomes or halflings the next time you're planning a battle, and need aerial weapons. Smaller matters than this caused the loss of empires. Heed my words: dwarves are *not* the automatic best weapon of choice, under any situation!

Thank you for the floor.

Finally someone understands how the world works, even though you're not quite familiar with dwarf dreams as I can see, not everyone is dreaming of elven women (I don't like their pointy ears, they give me the creeps *Shudder*)

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Sun May 25, 2003 1:20 pm

Originally posted by Bordin_Steelaxe
Finally someone understands how the world works, even though you're not quite familiar with dwarf dreams as I can see, not everyone is dreaming of elven women (I don't like their pointy ears, they give me the creeps *Shudder*)

Elven gals are sassy (insert dirty thoughts here) and their ears are not so pointy as the Vulcans

Bordin_Steelaxe · Post by **Bordin_Steelaxe** » Sun May 25, 2003 1:48 pm

Originally posted by KidD01
Elven gals are sassy (insert dirty thoughts here) and their ears are not so pointy as the Vulcans

Gaaaah, why all the fuzz about elven gals? They don't have no meat that you possibly could hold onto! Every second you were together with her you would think "Oh by golly, I hope I don't break her while touching her pale skin", oh yeah... They really ARE PALE! They could use a bit of a sun tan ;o)

Galuf the Dwarf · Post by **Galuf the Dwarf** » Mon May 26, 2003 4:33 pm

Originally posted by Bordin_Steelaxe
Gaaaah, why all the fuzz about elven gals? They don't have no meat that you possibly could hold onto! Every second you were together with her you would think "Oh by golly, I hope I don't break her while touching her pale skin", oh yeah... They really ARE PALE! They could use a bit of a sun tan ;o)

Well, Gold Elves in the Forgotten Realms have tanned-looking skinned naturally, I believe. Read "Elfshadow" by Elaine Cunningham in case you haven't yet. There a few goldies in there. I've notice that Gold Dwarves in Icewind Dale II normally have about the same skin color as well, and almost as much charisma.

Aye, I be thinkin' that our other kin wouldn't think too highly of being ammunition as well.

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Tue May 27, 2003 12:57 am

Easy on the beards...

...my fellow vertically-challenged friends.

Check out Kayless' latest DCI issue. I'm sure you guys would feel appreciated.

Kayless · Post by **Kayless** » Tue May 27, 2003 8:46 pm

Originally posted by Kameleon
Yes, worse than that DCI ep where the werewolf gets Magic Missiled in the balls.

Hey, that was Arudin's Low Blow not your plain vanilla Magic Missle.

Originally posted by fable
Come we to kobolds. I'm really surprised you haven't even mentioned these little fellows; why, compared to dwarves, kobolds get hardly any press at all!

Kobolds are people too.

Originally posted by Maharlika
...my fellow vertically-challenged friends.

Check out Kayless' latest DCI issue. I'm sure you guys would feel appreciated.

Woohoo! Free publicity!

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Wed May 28, 2003 2:36 pm

The Dancing Frog's back ! I'm glad I pretend like Castor to piss Bordin a bit

Kayless · Post by **Kayless** » Thu May 29, 2003 8:10 pm

You did what to Bordin?

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Thu May 29, 2003 8:18 pm

Originally posted by Kayless
You did what to Bordin?

Kid must've liquified him and then drank him

Kayless · Post by **Kayless** » Thu May 29, 2003 8:29 pm

Any explanation (other than a typo) is going to freak me out a bit.

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Fri May 30, 2003 12:04 am

LMAO Check this out :

Originally posted by Bordin_Steelaxe
Finally someone understands how the world works, even though you're not quite familiar with dwarf dreams as I can see, not everyone is dreaming of elven women (I don't like their pointy ears, they give me the creeps *Shudder*)

Originally posted by KidD01
Elven gals are sassy (insert dirty thoughts here) and their ears are not so pointy as the Vulcans

Does that sounds like Castor to you ? Glad I don't loose any eyeballs

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Fri May 30, 2003 1:58 am

Perhaps...

Originally posted by KidD01
Does that sounds like Castor to you ? Glad I don't loose any eyeballs

...at least you didn't try to persuade others in doing something for you by offering to show Bordin's...

...well, axe.

Kayless · Post by **Kayless** » Fri May 30, 2003 7:40 am

Originally posted by KidD01
Does that sounds like Castor to you ? Glad I don't loose any eyeballs

That's somewhat Castor-esque but it lacks the inherent offensiveness of his pick up lines.