Superkids/Superbabies (No Spam Please)

[Maharlika]

I'm presently working on a paper about the pros and cons of accelerating the cognitive development of preschoolers.

Some parents subject their young kids with stuff to make them well ahead of their children's batch/contemporaries. They do this thinking that their kids will be a step ahead and be among the best if not THE BEST of his generation.

Such parents push their children hard to cultivate their natural talents hoping to be a lot better at a younger age and shape every childhood activity toward some instantly tangible success.

What are the pros and cons? Is it possible to accelerate cognitive development without having any detrimental effect on the kid?

[HighLordDave]

Originally posted by Maharlika
What are the pros and cons? Is it possible to accelerate cognitive development without having any detrimental effect on the kid?

It is possible, but I'm not sure that over-accelerated cognitive devlopment is desirable for most kids.

I think that as long as the early learning does not disrupt normal socialisation, it is fine. However, if you go too far, your kid may end up several grades ahead of his/her peers and this in my opinion is generally not a good idea. I say generally because every child is unique and a parent must make that evaluation based on the best interests of their child.

I went to high school with a kid who skipped three grades. While he was smarter than just about anyone I ever knew, he never really fit in, and it was because he had nothing in common with us; he didn't start driving when we did, he wasn't interest in girls when we were and he was smaller than the rest of us so he couldn't compete with us in physical activities. This kid handled it pretty well, and I don't believe his parents pushed him extra hard to do well; he simply was smarter than anyone else his age.

At the same time, I knew a girl who started kindergarden the same year I did and she skipped two grades and graduated ahead of me and she was miserable. Her parents pushed her to be like her older brother (who graduated valedictorian of his class and got scholarship offers from Princeton, Yale and the Naval Academy). She suffered socially and never fully adjusted to being two years ahead of everyone else her age. She was also no savant, but she worked hard (I believe at her parents insistence) so she could advance ahead of her peers.

I think that parents should try and teach their kids every thing the kid wants to learn. However, I don't think doing it at the expense of other activities and social development is constructive or desirable. I think that if you make a kid too smart, they'll be bored at school which leads to a whole set of other problems.

[Tybaltus]

Originally posted by HighLordDave
he didn't start driving when we did

I STILL dont drive when everyone else does, and I have fit in pretty well.
But back on topic....
Kids getting pushed to do stuff from their parents is horrible. It can be severly negative upon themselves and others around them. I knew two people that were pushed too hard to succeed. They turned out to be stuck-up snobs. Im surprised they got as many friends as they did. But they never fit in to the crowd. 1 person was always disappointed with A-'s. And apparently if he got B's in classes, his parents would have his head. I dont hold this against him at all, that he turned out the way he did. It was obvious that he was under too much pressure, and his general attitude reflected that. He ends up going to a high-level college, but at what cost? I think had he had more freedom, he would have had many more friends and would have been just easier to get along with. Stress is a very negative thing.

The second story is also interesting. She was also pushed by her parents too hard, but she covered up the stress in very strange ways. At first she says that her parents were doing her a huge favor, and she liked it that way. Obviously not true. As time went on, I witnessed her character be less and less pleasant to be around. She obviously was stressed out all the time. She often complained about how she was too fat and she always exercised and worried about her exact diet. She wasnt overweight at all. She was a twig, almost literally. I feel really bad for her for this reason. She was worrying about things that didnt even exist. Sometimes I tried to comfort her, but all she did was push me away, quickly sometimes even snapping at me. I lost a friend in her because of this. She basically stopped sleeping towards senior year, doing nothing but homework, and overcoming problems that didnt even exist. She was taking classes she didnt like because of her parents. And Im not even going to talk about what she was like when applications for college were due. She made it into an Ivy league college but I still mourn the loss of her once very up-beat and friendly nature she had 5 years ago. Shes never been the same since.

[C Elegans]

From a professional perspective, looking and what is known about development and cognitive psychology in children, I am not in favour of trying to accelerate the cognitive development in children. This is also the common consensus in European child psychology, I am not familiar with other parts of the world, but I do think the US and Asia may differ from Europe in this respect.

Whereas "exceptionally giften children" (as they are called in psychology) may be highly productive and useful in soceity and also provide parents and teachers with much satisfaction, the child's needs must IMO be in focus. Exceptionally gifted children can usually be divided into two groups: those who are globally very gifted in all areas, and those who are very gifted within a specific domain. Regardless of which, both groups will face specific problems. No kid is equally developed in all areas of human behaviour and talents, and most "child prodigies" suffer from a much more pronouced imbalance between different areas that the average kid. Social, emotional and motoric areas are the domains most common for underdevelopment. This is often enhanced by the adult world focusing and encouraging the child's intellectual or artistic talents and neglecting other domains in their eager to provide stimulation and even push development in the areas where the child excels. An exceptionally gifted child should IMO receive enough stimulation and encouragement not to give up activities related to its talents, but it is actually more important that the adult world identifies the areas where the child is not equally developed, and focus on them to help the child reach a better balance. And remember: intellectual skills can always be made up for later in life, whereas social and emotional skills are among the most difficult to make up for as an adult. Like HLD points out, the exceptionally gifted child deviates from its peer group and will have special needs because of this. It is very easy to feel alienated and have difficultes with relating to and understand ones peer group.

Regarding possibilities to accelerate cognitive development in preschool children, this is very possible. All children are very sensitive to encouragement and stimulation from the adult world. By providing stimulation and use encourament according to basic learning theory. However, many parents push their children way to far in some areas (usually intellectually), whereas other domains remain neglected. This is sometimes done for egostic reasons from the parents, but sometimes it is also motivated by the parent's anxiety over the child's possibilities in a competative world. However - being ahead of one's agegroup at preschool age is a bad marker for future academic success. A generally supportive and encouraging athmosphere, building the child's general self confidence is usually better in acheiving this goal than early acceleration of cognitive abilities.

[Zelgadis]

I think that its a parental duty for people to encourage their children to do well, but when it becomes excessive, it becomes a very bad thing. The parents of these children should realize that sucess in school and careers is not what will make their children happy in the long run, and probably not even in the short. Pushing children to hard, escpecially in the case where they hold them to the standards of older siblings, can lead quickly to depression and suicide. (Maybe watching the Dead Poets Society should be mandatory before people have children )

And the ussual way of dealing with children who are advanced or superior intellectually, putting those children into classes with significantly older classmates is just plain cruel, but keeping them in a class that cannot challenge them intellectually is also cruel.

EDIT: If this thread needs any questions on autism answered, and i'm guessing it might, I can most likely answer them.

[C Elegans]

Oh, I forgot. I grew up as an "exceptionally gifted child", so I have some personal experience in the area if you wish to hear. Wheras my life up to the point where I found my present job was an eternal hunt for intellectual stimulation and many years of total alienation from other people and the world in general, I also quit doing several things because of pressure from the adult world. Things lost their point to me when everybody around me forced me to do it, projected their dreams and wished on me and set up goals for me that were not my own.
Some of these things makes me a bit sad when I think about it now, because it was things I really enjoyed doing and would have wanted to continue to do on my own premises....but I wasn't allowed to do that, and instead I stated hating it.

[dragon wench]

I agree with the overall feeling here that children should not be pushed so that they are far advanced beyond their peers.

I do have a story though, which relates a bit to the discussion and offers a slightly different angle.

My son is presently seven, and he has just entered grade two. Likely influenced by my interest in roleplaying games and fantasy, he has a real love for the genre and enjoys any stories involving magic, quests and so forth. While he was in kindergarten we decided to try him on The Hobbit, and he loved it, so we then began reading LOTR with him. While he did not understand all of it, both books quickly became favourites at bedtime reading.

One day he brought LOTR to "show and tell".......

His teacher remarked to me, "Don't you think Tolkein is a bit advanced for a five-year-old."
I replied that I did not believe in restricting a child's imagination to age-labelled boxes.

I suppose what I am saying here is that I think it is a balancing act.... if a child shows an obvious interest in doing something beyond their age group then this should be made available to them, but they should never be pushed... IMO it is all about giving the child the choice.

[Maharlika]

I tend to agree with most...

...that pushing the child just to be a trophy/medal collector isn't really a good idea for the child's overall growth and development.

On the other hand, CE mentioned the word "gifted." This would mean that the child has an identified level of talent or skill or ability beyond the normal range in the kid's age group.

An identified gifted child surely needs some special approach by the child's guardian to ensure that the kid's "giftedness" would not hamper or be a liability for the child to lead a healthy life.

What about those that are not "gifted?" The mainstream kids if you could call that. Is it okay to subject them to some form of "non-excessive" push in order to get a "little" head start?

I suppose it is, provided that the parents are aware that there should be no pressure whatsoever, nor high expectations of the child to perform above par.

[Ode to a Grasshopper]

Originally posted by dragon wench
IMO it is all about giving the child the choice.

And here you have it, in a nutshell.

I've been lucky, in that my parents didn't try to push my intellectual development after I got into primary school, before that I resisted any attempts to get me to work anyway. Also, I've never been a competitive person by nature so I've developed at a comfortable pace for me IMO.

[Eerhardt]

While I agree on not pushing a child, I feel that - for languages - it is important to learn them as soon as possible. It becomes that much harder to learn a new language with age. Especially in the world of today, where so many people from different countries get connected, knowing several languages can really give you a headstart in life. Of course, I'm not saying we should all have kids drilling on grammar rules, but maybe wordgames etc. at an early age aren't such a bad idea. "Learn while playing", so to speak.
Just my 2 cents on the subject .