Guilty

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Tue Sep 03, 2002 10:19 am

I think this is an interesting question, and certainly one I have considered a great deal over the last year or so.

I have made a number of very good friends online (in fact, I have met them all through SYM), and I feel as close to those individuals as I do to my friends in "real life." For me, the major difference between the two types of friendship lies in the fact that I can't call my online friends up and suggest that we go out for a beer, or anything else like that. This, for me, has some interesting results. Because so much of an online friendship is based on conversation rather than activities, I have found that I have gotten to know my net friends far more quickly than I have often done with friendships in "real life."

Moreover, I also care deeply about my online friends. This brings up another significant difference between the two forms of contact. When an online friend has a crisis you ardently wish you could invite them around for a cup of tea and really hug them, rather than sending a virtual hug. At such moments the limits of icq become highlighted in sharp relief, and I feel very helpless.

This issue is, I believe, a fascinating one. Because contact by computers is still a relatively new form of communication, there are still many people who are sceptical of individuals forming friendships online...they feel that such friendships are not real. Perhaps eventually this will change as more people become accustomed to the concept, because IMO online friendships are the logical evolution of penpals.

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Tue Sep 03, 2002 10:50 am

*hugs DW*

Originally posted by CM
And all you males, i rather not here comments like Viv moving down the street would be a dream come true yadda yadda yadda. Flirt on your own time

Oh, and by the way, I would simply loooove to live on Fas' block

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Tue Sep 03, 2002 12:20 pm

Re: Re: Guilty

Originally posted by Vivien
*hugs DW*

Awww....

*hugs Viv back*

CM · Post by CM » Tue Sep 03, 2002 2:23 pm

Re: Re: Guilty

Originally posted by Vivien
*hugs DW*

Oh, and by the way, I would simply loooove to live on Fas' block

That can be sooooooooooooooooooooo mis-quoted

Tybaltus · Post by **Tybaltus** » Tue Sep 03, 2002 2:29 pm

Originally posted by CM

That can be sooooooooooooooooooooo mis-quoted

I could misquote you too, Fas.

CM · Post by CM » Tue Sep 03, 2002 2:36 pm

Originally posted by Tybaltus

I could misquote you too, Fas.

Really?
But that will be no fun

Tybaltus · Post by **Tybaltus** » Tue Sep 03, 2002 2:41 pm

Originally posted by CM
I adore hugs from everybody. And I have been in denial about that since my arrival at SYM

*please note that the above quote might not have necessarily been posted by Fas at any given time...*
See? That wasnt that hard.

*Notes to self that Fas will probably do the same thing to me*

Tamerlane · Post by **Tamerlane** » Tue Sep 03, 2002 8:03 pm

Originally posted by Mr Sleep
Don't you find the incessant screaming gets on your nerves?

Are to trying to ruin Odies chances of making me watch NGE. I don't enjoy constant screaming...

gnomethingy · Post by **gnomethingy** » Tue Sep 03, 2002 8:51 pm

I think online friendships become downright creepy when this starts happening

*HUGS* whateveryournameis

I mean... fleh, its just weird and scarey

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Tue Sep 03, 2002 10:14 pm

@DW:

because IMO online friendships are the logical evolution of penpals.

Exactly. And like all successful things, it only improves upon the original. No long waiting periods, nor threat of lost mail...the benefits far outweigh the negatives.

There are numerous advantages to OL friendships - they tend not to be overruled by cirumstances. We may often feel uncomfortable face to face for a variety of unspoken reasons. The anonymous state we enjoy online has a way of rendering these hinderances null and void, thus opening a door to a friendship that is, in some ways, very pure. This, of course, depends upon the individual person - however, I find I have made friends with people from a variety of cultures and backgrounds online. I see little difference here between an OL friendship and a RL friendship - in fact, I think it's easier to establish an OL friendship. If a person is true to themselves, then they will reap as many benefits from a friendship forged on the internet as they do from friends they have made in regular life.

I have made a few very special friends online. They are as important to me as the friends I have in ordinary life.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Wed Sep 04, 2002 1:06 am

Originally posted by Tamerlane

Are to trying to ruin Odies chances of making me watch NGE. I don't enjoy constant screaming...

He's exagerating @Tam, there is some screaming during the battle sequences but overall it's well worth seeing.
Trust me.

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 10:03 am

Originally posted by gnomethingy
I think online friendships become downright creepy when this starts happening

*HUGS* whateveryournameis

I mean... fleh, its just weird and scarey

Okay...

I'm a little confused. Either you're joking or you just plain don't like it.

The problem is that many, many women do this online, myself included. For myself it's a way of smiling, of letting them know you've noticed that they are there. *shrugs* Just a little confused as to why it is 'weird and scarey'?

But, now that we know, we can be sure not to weird and scare you out.

gnomethingy · Post by **gnomethingy** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 10:28 am

Originally posted by Vivien

Okay...

I'm a little confused. Either you're joking or you just plain don't like it.

The problem is that many, many women do this online, myself included. For myself it's a way of smiling, of letting them know you've noticed that they are there. *shrugs* Just a little confused as to why it is 'weird and scarey'?

But, now that we know, we can be sure not to weird and scare you out.

HA-HA, ha-ha!!!

What better post than this to strike apon one of the fundamental flaws of the internet? As a platform for social interaction!!

Had that been exchanged in real life, you would have seen my jockers visage.. An innane grinn, of someon expecting no one to laugh, yet he spits the joke out anyway..

but it isnt and you didnt...

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 10:59 am

Originally posted by gnomethingy

HA-HA, ha-ha!!!

What better post than this to strike apon one of the fundamental flaws of the internet? As a platform for social interaction!!

Had that been exchanged in real life, you would have seen my jockers visage.. An innane grinn, of someon expecting no one to laugh, yet he spits the joke out anyway..

but it isnt and you didnt...

*HUG*

Okay, now that I've done that and weirded you out (by the way did you know a *hug* is a weapon as well?) I can say, okay

I *thought* you were, but was prepared to do battle if you were to mock the power of my hug.

Also, you say you expected no laughs? Do you do that often irl?

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 12:26 pm

Originally posted by Chanak
@DW:

We may often feel uncomfortable face to face for a variety of unspoken reasons. The anonymous state we enjoy online has a way of rendering these hinderances null and void, thus opening a door to a friendship that is, in some ways, very pure.

Yes, they do have a purity because people in online friendships tend to judge one another for what is inside, and because of this they, paradoxically, can be far more real than friendships that are formed in regular life. When you rely almost entirely on the written word, after a time there is little room for artifice or stage props.

gnomethingy · Post by **gnomethingy** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 7:53 pm

Originally posted by Vivien

*HUG*

Okay, now that I've done that and weirded you out (by the way did you know a *hug* is a weapon as well?) I can say, okay I *thought* you were, but was prepared to do battle if you were to mock the power of my hug.

Also, you say you expected no laughs? Do you do that often irl?

Expected no laughs? Maybe in the deepest most subconcoius depths of my ego, I always expect a laugh.. But in reality, hell no, my jokes are always to personal / nonsensical to make anyone laugh or generally require some sort or prior knowledge

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 11:32 pm

@DW:

Yes, they do have a purity because people in online friendships tend to judge one another for what is inside, and because of this they, paradoxically, can be far more real than friendships that are formed in regular life. When you rely almost entirely on the written word, after a time there is little room for artifice or stage props.

LOL, many things in life seem to be paradoxical.

I think of someone who, under "ordinary" circumstances, might be a bit too withdrawn or self-conscious to fit in the usual social setting. Such a person has these bonds removed when online...for online, they can essentially be who they want to be. There is of course danger in this, for the truth of who you see online depends upon the veracity of the person in question. But like all things, whether thought of as safe or unsafe, there is a measure of risk involved.

I have found wonderful friendships online, personally. The risks, to me, are worth it - nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I love the written word - if it were possible to speak as carefully one can write, I might also enjoy the spoken word as well.

But writing is a great love of mine, and my favored medium of expression.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Thu Sep 05, 2002 2:05 am

I don't find there's a big risk in OL friendships. To my mind if it doesn't work out or people just drift apart then it's no bigger loss than not having been friends with someone in the first place, you have at least had a while of being friends with someone.
'Tis better to have loved and lost, etc. While love may be too strong a term here the basic principle fits just fine.

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 4:26 am

Originally posted by Ode to a Grasshopper
I don't find there's a big risk in OL friendships.

...but sometimes it get's creepy... like discovering that there are "other people, remarkably similar to me" out there... isn't it, Odie ?

...

No worries, I think mother earth is able to handle one of "us" per continent....

..

Beldin

Ode to a Grasshopper · Thu Sep 05, 2002 4:31 am

Originally posted by Beldin

...but sometimes it get's creepy... like discovering that there are "other people, remarkably similar to me" out there... isn't it, Odie ? ...

No worries, I think mother earth is able to handle one of "us" per continent.... ..

A little, but a bit of a relief too.

Only just, mind you...