funny stuff

Zu'l Zorander · Post by **Zu'l Zorander** » Fri Jul 26, 2002 12:42 am

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee, that's
the only time I have to work on my hair)

2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside." (Evidently, the shoplifter special)

3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how. . . ?)

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
(But it's *just* a suggestion)

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down." (Oops, too late!)

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating." (As night follows the day . . . .)

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save even more time?)

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year- olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope)

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only." (As opposed to what?)

11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts." (NEWSFLASH!!!)

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Fri Jul 26, 2002 2:10 am

I'm quoting here...

"I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?"
Denis Leary.

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde.

"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."
Groucho Marx.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Brooke Shields (during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign).

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
Humprey Bogart.

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Joe E Lewis.

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
Ernest Hemmingway.

"He was a wise man who invented beer."
Plato.

"I can resist everything except temptation."
Oscar Wilde.

"You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label."
Mark Twain.

No worries,

Beldin

frogus · Post by **frogus** » Fri Jul 26, 2002 3:46 am

You didn't actually read Zul's post, did you Beldin?

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Fri Jul 26, 2002 3:58 am

Originally posted by frogus
You didn't actually read Zul's post, did you Beldin?

@Froggy: I've read this very list about 5 zillion times in the past 8 years since I'm around in the "online" world... - but I ventured to post my quotes anyway because the thread is named "funny stuff" and I deemed them funny. Sorry if this offends your feelings, but I didn't realize that this was a "no spam" thread, exclusively reserved for consumer warnings on products. So please don't

me.

Thank's for your patience .

no worries,

Beldin

EDIT - See also HERE.

frogus · Post by **frogus** » Fri Jul 26, 2002 4:13 am

*barks like dog*

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Fri Jul 26, 2002 4:29 am

BTW @your sig, Froggy - have you ever had a "Cool water Sandwich" or a "Sunday-go-to-meeting Bun" ?

No worries,

Beldin

frogus · Post by **frogus** » Fri Jul 26, 2002 2:42 pm

LOL...

"Sunday-go-to-meeting Bun"

Ahhh...I always wondered what that was...

and no, I haven't, but me and select friends really have (almost) eaten ricochet biscuits (when *ahem* under the influence, of course). We stood there with our mouths open and had somebody throw out-of-date Jammy Dodgers into the wall at an angle. The best we managed was a bleeding nose and some jam on the chin

.

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Wed Jul 31, 2002 1:22 am

Funny or not ??

Make your choice...