Capitalism, using The Cow Principle
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. You are
surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you
want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow
cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them
World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they
live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they
are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you
have five cows. You count them again and learn you
have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
them. You claim full employment, high bovine
productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the numbers.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters of credit
opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six
cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
Island company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells, the rights to all seven cows
back to your listed company. The annual report says
the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the
United States, leaving you with nine cows. No
balance sheet provided with the release. The public
buys your bull.
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda
cute.
Capitalism, using Cows
Capitalism, using Cows
If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.
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Vicsun
- Posts: 4547
- Joined: Mon Dec 25, 2000 12:00 pm
- Location: liberally sprinkled in the film's opening scene
- Contact:
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. You steal your neighbor's bull and ignore the government.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. You keep the cows and steal another one. You ignore the government.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. Your neighbor hits you over the head with a brick, steals your cows, then shoots them for fun. You later discover that he is a Nazi.
ARISTOCRATISM: You have two cows. You sell both and buy one really big cow - with a pedigree.
ARTIST -- VISUAL: You have two cows. You stuff them and put them in glass display boxes. In London.
BRITISH: You have two cows. They are crazy. You try to sell them in Europe.
BRITISH -- MAJOR: You have two cows. One has BSE. You get a vet to give the other one the all clear, and then declare there is no problem from BSE in your country.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. To register them, you fill in 17 forms in triplicate and don't have time to milk them.
BUREAUCRACY -- EUROPEAN UNION: You have two cows. The EU loses one cow, milks the other and then spills the milk.
BUREAUCRACY -- UNITED STATES: You have two cows. The government takes both, loses one while moving it to a farm in Puerto Rico and forgets to milk the other.
CANADIANISM: You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
CAPITALISM -- AMERICAN: You have two cows. You sell one of them, and buy a bull. The cow and bull have a great love life; you sell the movie rights to Hollywood. Then you go into real estate.
CAPITALISM -- HONG KONG You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
CENTRALISM: You have two cows. And a problem finding them in the middle of the field with 100,000,000 other cows.
CONSERVATIVISM: You have two cows. You freeze the milk and embalm the cows.
CONSERVATIVISM: You have two cows. You lock them up, and charge people to look at them.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can't afford the milk. You wither away.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The state takes both, and gives you a little milk ... once.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.
COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN: You have two cows. The government sends a teenager in a red bandana to shoot them, then he shoots you.
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE: You don't have any cows. The government sets up a joint venture with McDonald's.
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE: You have two cows. You take care of them. The government takes all the milk, but you are encouraged to steal some of it back (before someone else does).
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE - MAO STYLE: You have two pigs. The government launches a campaign to convince you to donate them "voluntarily" to provide meat for workers in the city. The government then declares that people don't need pigs to make pork. Quoting the correct phrases from your little red book, you and your neighbors try to create pork from sheer willpower. Your local party leader reports that you have exceeded all expectations. Your neighbors starve.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN - CASTRO STYLE: Fidel Castro has two cows. They are F1's, a cross between the Cebu cow and the Holstein cow. Only one cow, "White Udder," works. When she dies she is stuffed and placed in a museum by Castro, "The Dictator of the Cows," where "future generations could admire her magnificent udders." You have not seen cow milk since 1985.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN: You have two cows. Fidel tells you some undercover CIA agents have infected all of the cows in your region with a foreign disease that kills the cows. You and your family become malnourished. It begins to occur to you that Fidel doesn't know what he is talking about.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN: You no longer have any cows. They sailed to Miami. You still have no milk - but you do have Fidel.
COMMUNISM -- "PURE": You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
COMMUNISM -- "PURE": You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. Well, maybe the local bully gets more, or a few neighbors band together to kill you so that there is more milk for everyone else.
COMMUNISM -- RUSSIAN: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. Then the government sends you to prison.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. A vote is held, and the cows win.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.
DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk and then blame Japan while border guards beat up Mexicans sneaking into the country. People are outraged for a week or so and then go back to televised sports where there's no violence.
DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN (a republic): You have two cows. The government exercises those powers delegated to it by the people, who are sovereign. The majority does not rule because the people and their representatives (elected, appointed and employed) are constrained by various checks and balances, including the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the three co-equal branches of government, and the 50 state republics (see, e.g., Article IV, section 4). So what the government does with your cows and with the milk from those cows depends on the interaction between the people and the checks and balances mentioned above.
DEMOCRACY -- BRITISH: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. You steal your neighbor's bull and ignore the government.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. You keep the cows and steal another one. You ignore the government.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. Your neighbor hits you over the head with a brick, steals your cows, then shoots them for fun. You later discover that he is a Nazi.
ARISTOCRATISM: You have two cows. You sell both and buy one really big cow - with a pedigree.
ARTIST -- VISUAL: You have two cows. You stuff them and put them in glass display boxes. In London.
BRITISH: You have two cows. They are crazy. You try to sell them in Europe.
BRITISH -- MAJOR: You have two cows. One has BSE. You get a vet to give the other one the all clear, and then declare there is no problem from BSE in your country.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. To register them, you fill in 17 forms in triplicate and don't have time to milk them.
BUREAUCRACY -- EUROPEAN UNION: You have two cows. The EU loses one cow, milks the other and then spills the milk.
BUREAUCRACY -- UNITED STATES: You have two cows. The government takes both, loses one while moving it to a farm in Puerto Rico and forgets to milk the other.
CANADIANISM: You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
CAPITALISM -- AMERICAN: You have two cows. You sell one of them, and buy a bull. The cow and bull have a great love life; you sell the movie rights to Hollywood. Then you go into real estate.
CAPITALISM -- HONG KONG You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
CENTRALISM: You have two cows. And a problem finding them in the middle of the field with 100,000,000 other cows.
CONSERVATIVISM: You have two cows. You freeze the milk and embalm the cows.
CONSERVATIVISM: You have two cows. You lock them up, and charge people to look at them.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can't afford the milk. You wither away.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The state takes both, and gives you a little milk ... once.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.
COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN: You have two cows. The government sends a teenager in a red bandana to shoot them, then he shoots you.
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE: You don't have any cows. The government sets up a joint venture with McDonald's.
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE: You have two cows. You take care of them. The government takes all the milk, but you are encouraged to steal some of it back (before someone else does).
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE - MAO STYLE: You have two pigs. The government launches a campaign to convince you to donate them "voluntarily" to provide meat for workers in the city. The government then declares that people don't need pigs to make pork. Quoting the correct phrases from your little red book, you and your neighbors try to create pork from sheer willpower. Your local party leader reports that you have exceeded all expectations. Your neighbors starve.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN - CASTRO STYLE: Fidel Castro has two cows. They are F1's, a cross between the Cebu cow and the Holstein cow. Only one cow, "White Udder," works. When she dies she is stuffed and placed in a museum by Castro, "The Dictator of the Cows," where "future generations could admire her magnificent udders." You have not seen cow milk since 1985.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN: You have two cows. Fidel tells you some undercover CIA agents have infected all of the cows in your region with a foreign disease that kills the cows. You and your family become malnourished. It begins to occur to you that Fidel doesn't know what he is talking about.
COMMUNISM -- CUBAN: You no longer have any cows. They sailed to Miami. You still have no milk - but you do have Fidel.
COMMUNISM -- "PURE": You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
COMMUNISM -- "PURE": You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. Well, maybe the local bully gets more, or a few neighbors band together to kill you so that there is more milk for everyone else.
COMMUNISM -- RUSSIAN: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. Then the government sends you to prison.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. A vote is held, and the cows win.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.
DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk and then blame Japan while border guards beat up Mexicans sneaking into the country. People are outraged for a week or so and then go back to televised sports where there's no violence.
DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN (a republic): You have two cows. The government exercises those powers delegated to it by the people, who are sovereign. The majority does not rule because the people and their representatives (elected, appointed and employed) are constrained by various checks and balances, including the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the three co-equal branches of government, and the 50 state republics (see, e.g., Article IV, section 4). So what the government does with your cows and with the milk from those cows depends on the interaction between the people and the checks and balances mentioned above.
DEMOCRACY -- BRITISH: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
Vicsun, I certainly agree with your assertion that you are an unpleasant person. ~Chanak
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Vicsun
- Posts: 4547
- Joined: Mon Dec 25, 2000 12:00 pm
- Location: liberally sprinkled in the film's opening scene
- Contact:
DEMOCRACY -- REPRESENTATIVE: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and drafts you.
EUROPEAN UNIONISM: You have two goats. The EU declares them to be fruit in order to conform to a rare Belgian custom of making Cow Jam (jam being required to have at least 45% fruit).
EUROPEAN UNIONISM: You have two cows. The EU develops a quota system that "limits the gas emissions from flatulent cows." You sell your carbon allotment, not the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. You give the milk to the government and the government sells it.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes one away and presses it into military service.
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
FRISBEETARIANISM: You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.
IDEALISM: You have two cows. You get married and your partner milks them.
INDUSTRIALISM: You have two cows. You dissect them both and figure out how to build a milk-factory instead.
LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You sell both to the rich. The government then taxes the rich one cow and gives it to the poor.
LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You give away one cow and get the government to give you a new cow. Then you give them both away.
LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. You let them do what they want.
LIBERTARIANISM: Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.
MARXISM/LENINISM: The proletarian cows unite and overthrow the bourgeoisie cowherds. The egalitarian democratic cow revolutionary state with the cow party as vanguard disintegrate over time. Marx choked on a veggie-burger before he could explain what happens to the use-value, exchange-value and sign-value of bovine leather.
NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you.
NEW DEALISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink. The government insists there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes.
PACIFISM: You have two cows. They stampede you.
PEROTISM: You have two cows. You aren't allowed to sell the milk to Mexico.
PLATONISM: You have two cows. You look for two other cows to milk.
PLATONISM: You have a reflection of two perfect cows. Their milk tastes like water. You look for two real cows to milk.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESSISM: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of nonspecified gender.
PROTECTIONISM: You have two cows. You can't buy a bull from another country.
REDISTRIBUTIONISM: You have two cows. Everyone should have the same amount of cow. The government takes both cows, cuts them up, and spends more than the cows are worth giving everyone a little piece of cow.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.
SOCIALISM -- BUREAUCRATIC: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.
SOCIALISM -- PURE: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
SOCRATIC METHODISM: How many cows do I have? Why?
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
SURREALISM: You have two aardvarks. The government paints one green and requires you to take harmonica lessons.
TALIBANISM: You have two cows. At first, the government makes them wear burkas, but later shoots them because "they are Hindu religious symbols."
UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and drafts you.
EUROPEAN UNIONISM: You have two goats. The EU declares them to be fruit in order to conform to a rare Belgian custom of making Cow Jam (jam being required to have at least 45% fruit).
EUROPEAN UNIONISM: You have two cows. The EU develops a quota system that "limits the gas emissions from flatulent cows." You sell your carbon allotment, not the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. You give the milk to the government and the government sells it.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes one away and presses it into military service.
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
FRISBEETARIANISM: You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.
IDEALISM: You have two cows. You get married and your partner milks them.
INDUSTRIALISM: You have two cows. You dissect them both and figure out how to build a milk-factory instead.
LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You sell both to the rich. The government then taxes the rich one cow and gives it to the poor.
LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You give away one cow and get the government to give you a new cow. Then you give them both away.
LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. You let them do what they want.
LIBERTARIANISM: Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.
MARXISM/LENINISM: The proletarian cows unite and overthrow the bourgeoisie cowherds. The egalitarian democratic cow revolutionary state with the cow party as vanguard disintegrate over time. Marx choked on a veggie-burger before he could explain what happens to the use-value, exchange-value and sign-value of bovine leather.
NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you.
NEW DEALISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink. The government insists there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes.
PACIFISM: You have two cows. They stampede you.
PEROTISM: You have two cows. You aren't allowed to sell the milk to Mexico.
PLATONISM: You have two cows. You look for two other cows to milk.
PLATONISM: You have a reflection of two perfect cows. Their milk tastes like water. You look for two real cows to milk.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESSISM: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of nonspecified gender.
PROTECTIONISM: You have two cows. You can't buy a bull from another country.
REDISTRIBUTIONISM: You have two cows. Everyone should have the same amount of cow. The government takes both cows, cuts them up, and spends more than the cows are worth giving everyone a little piece of cow.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.
SOCIALISM -- BUREAUCRATIC: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.
SOCIALISM -- PURE: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
SOCRATIC METHODISM: How many cows do I have? Why?
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
SURREALISM: You have two aardvarks. The government paints one green and requires you to take harmonica lessons.
TALIBANISM: You have two cows. At first, the government makes them wear burkas, but later shoots them because "they are Hindu religious symbols."
UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.
Vicsun, I certainly agree with your assertion that you are an unpleasant person. ~Chanak
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fable
- Posts: 30676
- Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2001 12:00 pm
- Location: The sun, the moon, and the stars.
- Contact:
I believe these were posted here before, but as it wasn't too recently, I'll let 'em stay up. Good vintage stuff, this. I would only add, from personal observation:
FUNDAMENTALISM: You have two cows. You go about trying to confiscate, sacrifice, hood, convert, slaughter or ostracize all the heretic cows everybody else possesses.
I would only add, from personal observation:FUNDAMENTALISM: You have two cows. You go about trying to confiscate, sacrifice, hood, convert, slaughter or ostracize all the heretic cows everybody else possesses.
To the Righteous belong the fruits of violent victory. The rest of us will have to settle for warm friends, warm lovers, and a wink from a quietly supportive universe.
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fable
- Posts: 30676
- Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2001 12:00 pm
- Location: The sun, the moon, and the stars.
- Contact:
Er...huh?Originally posted by Vicsun
What about:
Fableism: You have too cows. You lock both of them.
I think you've been sampling too many mad cows. To the Righteous belong the fruits of violent victory. The rest of us will have to settle for warm friends, warm lovers, and a wink from a quietly supportive universe.
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HighLordDave
- Posts: 4062
- Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2001 11:00 pm
- Location: Between Middle-Earth and the Galaxy Far, Far Away
- Contact:
GameBansheeism:
fable drops off two cows and tells you that they are the object of massive social injustice. Vivien gives them hugs. Weasel tells you he will sell you the cows and a bridge in New York for $30. Ode to a Grasshopper and Beldin show up, hijack the cows and try to get them high. Azmodan posts a test entitled "What Kind of Cow Are You?". Mr Flibble and Ned Flanders try to figure out how to network the cows so they can play Neverwinter Nights. CM refuses to hug the cows, while McBane tries to get in between Vivien and the cows. Buck attaches pop-up ads to each of the cows. Maharlika posts some pictures of his kid along side the cows. T'Lainya turns the cows into stickies. Morlock posts a review of the cows and their soundtrack. The cows update the forum's database, then steal Gwalchmai's real name. Mr Sleep uses the cows to drive up his post-count, then closes them out when things get out of hand.
fable drops off two cows and tells you that they are the object of massive social injustice. Vivien gives them hugs. Weasel tells you he will sell you the cows and a bridge in New York for $30. Ode to a Grasshopper and Beldin show up, hijack the cows and try to get them high. Azmodan posts a test entitled "What Kind of Cow Are You?". Mr Flibble and Ned Flanders try to figure out how to network the cows so they can play Neverwinter Nights. CM refuses to hug the cows, while McBane tries to get in between Vivien and the cows. Buck attaches pop-up ads to each of the cows. Maharlika posts some pictures of his kid along side the cows. T'Lainya turns the cows into stickies. Morlock posts a review of the cows and their soundtrack. The cows update the forum's database, then steal Gwalchmai's real name. Mr Sleep uses the cows to drive up his post-count, then closes them out when things get out of hand.
Jesus saves! And takes half damage!
If brute force doesn't work, you're not using enough.
If brute force doesn't work, you're not using enough.
You forgot I Sage trying offer it advice on how to milk faster in existence, and myself trying to fit it with a Toga...Originally posted by HighLordDave
GameBansheeism:
fable drops off two cows and tells you that they are the object of massive social injustice. Vivien gives them hugs. Weasel tells you he will sell you the cows and a bridge in New York for $30. Ode to a Grasshopper and Beldin show up, hijack the cows and try to get them high. Azmodan posts a test entitled "What Kind of Cow Are You?". Mr Flibble and Ned Flanders try to figure out how to network the cows so they can play Neverwinter Nights. CM refuses to hug the cows, while McBane tries to get in between Vivien and the cows. Buck attaches pop-up ads to each of the cows. Maharlika posts some pictures of his kid along side the cows. T'Lainya turns the cows into stickies. Morlock posts a review of the cows and their soundtrack. The cows update the forum's database, then steal Gwalchmai's real name. Mr Sleep uses the cows to drive up his post-count, then closes them out when things get out of hand.