How would you...

Ode to a Grasshopper · Wed Jun 19, 2002 7:51 am

Originally posted by Weasel

Some Weasel examples

Hair. Talk about her roots. (Only works with fake Blonds)

Possible line,

"I love the two tone"

Is this an indication of why Mrs Weasel spent father's day asking you if she looked fat, @Weasel?

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Wed Jun 19, 2002 8:32 am

Originally posted by Ode to a Grasshopper
Is this an indication of why Mrs Weasel spent father's day asking you if she looked fat, @Weasel?

In my case...no.

She just happens to be carry a child and I believe this is a madatory question women ask during this time.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Wed Jun 19, 2002 8:35 am

Originally posted by Weasel

In my case...no.

She just happens to be carry a child and I believe this is a madatory question women ask during this time.

Ah. Congrats @Weasel! Do you know if it's a boy-weasel or another girl-weasel yet?

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Wed Jun 19, 2002 10:24 am

Originally posted by Weasel
Some Weasel examples
Hair. Talk about her roots. (Only works with fake Blonds)
Possible line,
"I love the two tone"

I knew it ! It's the sequel of love 101

now where's Waverly, Grunty and Flagg when you need them

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Wed Jun 19, 2002 10:27 am

Originally posted by KidD01

I knew it ! It's the sequel of love 101 now where's Waverly, Grunty and Flagg when you need them

Actually, they're what we don't need...

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Wed Jun 19, 2002 10:39 am

Originally posted by Aegis
Actually, they're what we don't need...

You might want to add Weasel on the list too then

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Wed Jun 19, 2002 10:42 am

Originally posted by KidD01

You might want to add Weasel on the list too then

Nah, Weasel's got a child-bearing woman... He obviously bribed someone the right way...

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Wed Jun 19, 2002 7:39 pm

Originally posted by KidD01

I knew it ! It's the sequel of love 101 now where's Waverly, Grunty and Flagg when you need them

I saw them...at least I saw their names listed...it was the annual ****** Top Ten People of the Year.

Obsidian · Post by **Obsidian** » Wed Jun 19, 2002 9:46 pm

Take the most obvious, and direct route. Kiss her. On the lips. If she slaps you, HA too bad. If not, hey hey! Direct, to the point, and doesn't waste time with words because girls LOVE to be pursued, giving maybes instead of direct answers. So if you kiss her, her response will be immediate and exactly what she feels. On the 3 occasions I've tried this, I got pushed away (heh, that was akward...) I was held closely, and the last scenerio she kissed me back. So, only 1 is a bad reaction.

Good luck

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Thu Jun 20, 2002 11:33 am

A Great Brithday Gift

This is story starts with Johny, who's in love with Joan but have no guts to say it directly to his girlfriend. After 5 years dating, John finally got a great idea - which is to give Joan a gift on her birthday. He decided to buy a CAP as a birthday gift.

So he rushed to local dept. store and get one. Due holiday season, the cashier is packed with people and unkown by John his "gift" is mistakenly switch by the next customer item which is an undies

John is very anxious to give Joan this particular gift and write a note without open the "item" he bought. The letter says :
"Dear Joan,
I bought this especially for you since I know you rarely wear it when we go out. I pick the read one since I've seen you wearing a black one. I'm sure the size will fits you perfectly, since I've tried it on and I think we got the same size.

I wish I could help you put this on for the first time.

Joan dear, If you like this present I hope i can see you wear this on your brithday tomorow. By the way the latest fashion I've seen on movies and magazines, is by slightly pull it down a bit with less hair shown at front

Well Joan I'll see you tomorow

John"

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Thu Jun 20, 2002 12:43 pm

Buy her a copy of "Guns N Ammo". Chicks dig firepower.

Kayless · Post by **Kayless** » Thu Jun 20, 2002 1:19 pm

Build a grotesque effigy in her likeness out of guano and make bunny sacrifices to it to show your devotion.

If that doesn’t work you can always use some tried and true Pick Up Lines like:

"If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning."

"Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here."

"Are you free tonight or will it cost me?"

"Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?"

"Do you know what'd look good on you? Me."

If by some cruel twist of fate these don't work, you can always amaze her with your awesome dancing prowess.

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Thu Jun 20, 2002 8:37 pm

@Kayless
Damn right....pick up lines all the way

, oh yeah....chicks dig a guy that can dance....right?
@Grunt
Too much firepower isn't that great either

we don't exactly want to look like Terminator...or do we?

Anyways...all you gotta do is do what everyone else has said (maybe giving her sheep is a little too much, sorry guys....), and on top of that stay cool and keep your head. From experience being jumpy is the last thing you want to be. And if worse comes to worst be all over her like slime on Jabba the Hutt.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Thu Jun 20, 2002 8:46 pm

Originally posted by The Z
@Kayless
Damn right....pick up lines all the way , oh yeah....chicks dig a guy that can dance....right?
@Grunt
Too much firepower isn't that great either we don't exactly want to look like Terminator...or do we?

Whats wrong with the oversized neanderthal forehead, dark 80's shades bike motif, mixed in plenty of weapons?

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Thu Jun 20, 2002 8:55 pm

Originally posted by Aegis
Whats wrong with the oversized neanderthal forehead, dark 80's shades bike motif, mixed in plenty of weapons?

Don't forget the "I'll be back" line with Eastern European accent

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Thu Jun 20, 2002 8:58 pm

Nothing I guess....and since RoboCop isn't even close to that, it'll have to do. Though for those of you that saw Ah-nold in Eraser, you'll have to agree with me that those guns pack mucho firepower.
All this talk of guns n' gals brought this cruel and disgusting comment to mind. To quote a friend of mine:

*"Listen man, dead chicks can't say no..."*

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Thu Jun 20, 2002 9:04 pm

Originally posted by The Z
*"Listen man, dead chicks can't say no..."*

An they are pretty useless too since you can't do anything which *cough*arrouse*cough*her anyway

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Thu Jun 20, 2002 9:12 pm

And that's exactly why my friend has no girl.....except for his *extracirricular internet activities*, I doubt he gets *ahem* aroused......anyways....Vinin (I think I spelled that wrong), by now you probably shouldn't take heed to anything said at this point in the thread. At SYM, unless the topic says "no spam", you'd be hard pressed to find everyone not getting off topic.

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Thu Jun 20, 2002 9:17 pm

Originally posted by The Z
And that's exactly why my friend has no girl.....except for his *extracirricular internet activities*, I doubt he gets *ahem* aroused......anyways....Vinin (I think I spelled that wrong), by now you probably shouldn't take heed to anything said at this point in the thread. At SYM, unless the topic says "no spam", you'd be hard pressed to find everyone not getting off topic.

It's better than the rampage of COMMies in the thread anyway

Ode to a Grasshopper · Fri Jun 21, 2002 1:15 am

Originally posted by KidD01

It's better than the rampage of COMMies in the thread anyway

Say, does anyone want a drink?