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The Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge

Anything goes... just keep it clean.
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Raistlin
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The Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge

Post by Raistlin »

I found this great tutorial called RPG Guide to Sex . This is hilarously funny . I will write down some selected parts if i can help my tears .

I have a feeling that Ubik will enjoy this most .
:D
Here we go ..

Some of the subjects that are covered in the book :

Pregnancy in RPG
Sexual Tendency
Sexual Deseases
Spells with Zip
Magic items your mom wouldn't approve of
Getting to know a prostitute .
Essay:What if a character rapes an NPC (or vice versa) :D
Essay :P laying a homosexual character .

Some of the mage/cleric spells .

Delay Orgasm (All Schools)

Level : Cantrip
Range : 10 yards
Area of Effect : 1 creature
Save : Neg.

This cantrip delays an orgasm by 1 round per level of the caster .

Impotence (Enchantment)

Level : 1
Range : 5 yards
Duration : 10 rounds/level
Area of effect: 1 creature
Save : Neg

This spell enables the caster render one creature,himself or otherwise , impotent (incapable of sexual intercourse)

Bybig's ***** Slap (Evocation)

Level : 4
Range : 10 yards/level
Duration : Special
Area of effect : One female

A version of the Bybig's Hand spells . A quasi real hand comes into existance and smacks the nearer women that caster commands it to .


Power Word , Strip (Enchantment)

Level : 4
Range : 10 yards/2levels
Duration: Instantenous .
Area of effect : One person .
Save : None

This spell causes one person to take of all his/her armour , clothing , weapons , jewelry , etc . as quick as possible .


Conjure Succubus (Conjuration / Summoning / Necromancy )

Level : 6
Range : 0
Duration : Special
Area of effect : Special
Save : None

This spell enables the caster to summon a female or male sexual spirit which is subject to permorm the caster's sexual bidding .(not combat ) . The spirit remains until dismissed .


Some of the Magical Items :

Periapt proof of pregnancy .
Girdle of speedy gestation .
Morgaine's chainmail bikini .
Perfume of Attraction .

Well , this is not even the %1 of the book . :D
If you want it , just pm me i will try to mail it to you . It's a pdf file with a 850kb of size when zipped .
"I have sinned enough againts the world , teaching magic to a kender would ensure my damnation ..." Sly One .
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Aegis
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Post by Aegis »

Oh my! :eek:

I'm rather intrigued as to what the rest of the book has to say...
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/-\lastor
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Post by /-\lastor »

Me too ^.^
I'm not evil I'm morally challenged
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Raistlin
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Post by Raistlin »

Aegis .. my young friend ,you could make a fine GameMaster ..maybe one of the best but without this book you won't make any difference .. :)

@ /Lastor : I need your e-mail adress . It doesn't show up in your profile . I will send it through Outlook Express .
"I have sinned enough againts the world , teaching magic to a kender would ensure my damnation ..." Sly One .
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Aegis
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Post by Aegis »

Originally posted by Raistlin
Aegis .. my young friend ,you could make a fine GameMaster ..maybe one of the best but without this book you won't make any difference .. :)
.
Your right... my DMing is nothing without the sexual knowledge contained withen this book! :D
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Kayless
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Post by Kayless »

This has been floating around the net for years now. I can’t believe some of you haven’t read it yet. There’s some seriously funny (and seriously scary) sh!t in there. But there’s nothing like casting Bigby's B!tch Slap on somebody. Image
Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
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Maharlika
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Post by Maharlika »

*alerts Agents at the CIA*...

...the Great Tome is on the loose! :eek: :D
"There is no weakness in honest sorrow... only in succumbing to depression over what cannot be changed." --- Alaundo, BG2
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/-\lastor
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Post by /-\lastor »

We must act immidiately. :p
I'm not evil I'm morally challenged
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fable
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Post by fable »

Please watch the language, folks. Thanks. :)
To the Righteous belong the fruits of violent victory. The rest of us will have to settle for warm friends, warm lovers, and a wink from a quietly supportive universe.
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