Make Trek, Not War!

EMINEM · Post by **EMINEM** » Tue May 14, 2002 6:51 am

Top Ten reasons why Star Trek is better than Star Wars:

10. It's on everyday! No three year waiting periods to watch the next episode.

9. The... acting... is... superior... in... many... ways.

9. "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away" doesn't apply to Galaxy Class Starships that can bridge space and time.

8. More loyal fan base: the Phantom Menace was Citizen Kane next to the Voyage Home, but Trekkies still went to see VI, VII, VIII and IX.

7. (in majestic Shakespearean pitch and timbre) "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Starship, Enterprise!" (in whiny ten-year old voice) "Hi, I'm Anakin. My mommy and I are slaves to a bloated blue pelican who sounds like the Godfather."

6. Roddenberry's vision has expanded, while Lucas' has shrunk.

5. Seven of Nine's breasts (among her other assets).

4. No Gungans on the Enterprise

3. No Gungans in Starfleet

2. No Gungans in the Federation

1. NO GUNGANS AT ALLl!!!

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Tue May 14, 2002 6:57 am

Dont forget the horrible moral of the star wars movies.

EMINEM · Post by **EMINEM** » Tue May 14, 2002 6:58 am

BTW, please ignore my avatar and signature when the perusing above list. It might, uh... communicate a contradictory message.

EMINEM · Post by **EMINEM** » Tue May 14, 2002 6:59 am

Originally posted by Dottie
Dont forget the horrible moral of the star wars movies.

Qu'est que c'est?

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Tue May 14, 2002 7:00 am

I thought it was some kind of profound sarcasm that I didnt grasp.

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Tue May 14, 2002 7:05 am

Do I realy need to explain that? Its full of racial issues that imo is not acceptable.

EMINEM · Post by **EMINEM** » Tue May 14, 2002 7:08 am

What IS the moral of Star Wars?

I think it's something along the lines of what Keldorn says to you whenever your reputation takes a nose dive in Baldur's Gate 2: "Give careful thought to your ways. The path to evil is much shorter than you think." Or in this case, beware the dark side of the Force. If you succumb to its lure (the accumulation of power through the uncontrolled use of emotion), you will eventually become its slave.

Regarding racial issues: can you give an example? I don't think there's one racist bone in Lucas' body. Nor do I think Star Wars could appeal to such a wide and varied ocean of people, young and old, if it contained the slightest shade of intolerance.

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Tue May 14, 2002 7:09 am

Originally posted by Dottie
Do I realy need to explain that? Its full of racial issues that imo is not acceptable.

Are you reffering to the Black versus White issues?

CM · Post by CM » Tue May 14, 2002 7:18 am

Well i can say this about Episode one. It was highly racially charged.

The trade federations sound like the Japanese.
The Gungans like Jamaicans/ or people from the west indies.

There are 2 or more examples, which i can't remember. I am not aware of any black and white issue with the original star wars. Could some one explain this?

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Tue May 14, 2002 7:23 am

Well, since you asked this is some of my issues with it.
There are two sides in the star wars movies, one is portraited as good the other as evil. Both are controlled by people who rule by birthright and their superior fighting skills. All species except humans are portraited as either stupid funny looking fools, or grotesque monsters. The good side is almost entirely made up of selfrighteous hypocrites. (Use the force to defend, never to attack vs The cantina scene for example)

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Tue May 14, 2002 7:27 am

Originally posted by CM
There are 2 or more examples, which i can't remember. I am not aware of any black and white issue with the original star wars. Could some one explain this?

Vader all in black and Luke the white blonder hair blue eyed boy.

It isn't like Babylon 5 which dealt with cultural divides very well

HighLordDave · Post by **HighLordDave** » Tue May 14, 2002 7:41 am

Top Ten Reasons why Star Wars is better than Star Trek:

10) In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely, if ever, set on "stun."

9) The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of twenty just to go into warp--the Millenium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie.

8) After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh and desirable--after pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.

7) One word: lightsabers.

6) Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance.

5) The Death Star doesn't care if a world is class "M" or not.

4) Luke Skywalker not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.

3) Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.

2) The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named Slave I

1) Picard pilots Enterprise through asteroid belt at one-quarter impulse power. Han Solo floors it.

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Tue May 14, 2002 7:44 am

Originally posted by HighLordDave
after pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.

LOL

Pithy indeed

4) Luke Skywalker not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.

That's just because he is...erm..a little bit....inexperienced

HighLordDave · Post by **HighLordDave** » Tue May 14, 2002 7:50 am

Star Wars digitally removes excess flab from actors in post-production. Star Trek is still using corsets.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Tue May 14, 2002 7:55 am

Originally posted by HighLordDave
4) Luke Skywalker not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.

But didn't look try to make it with his sister?

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Tue May 14, 2002 8:03 am

Originally posted by HighLordDave
Star Wars digitally removes excess flab from actors in post-production. Star Trek is still using corsets.

Don't the corsets give it that natural look

Star Wars never features some in a red suit by the name of Enson Ricky

HighLordDave · Post by **HighLordDave** » Tue May 14, 2002 8:17 am

Originally posted by Aegis
But didn't look try to make it with his sister?

It's all good . . . I live in West Virginia where we're all one big, happy family . . . really!

More reasons why Star Wars is better than Star Trek:

My Star Destroyer can kick your Galaxy-class cruiser's ass.

Force lightning.

No Wesley Crusher.

Troi had a mini-skirt and big stripper hair. Leia had the metal slave girl bikini.

The Jedi Mind Trick.

Have you played any of the Star Trek PC games?

At conventions, Trekkies put on spandex. Star Wars fans wear of the armour of Mandalorian Supercommandos.

When Picard disciplines an officer, he only dresses them down in private. Vader crushes their throat on the bridge for all to see.

Kameleon · Post by **Kameleon** » Tue May 14, 2002 8:28 am

Originally posted by HighLordDave
Have you played any of the Star Trek PC games?

Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force: w00t!

Originally posted by Kameleon in a past life
Have you played any of the Star Wars PC games?

Battle for Naboo...ROFL

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Tue May 14, 2002 11:39 am

Originally posted by HighLordDave
Troi had a mini-skirt and big stripper hair. Leia had the metal slave girl bikini.

Now how Leia compares with Seven of Nine ?

Originally posted by HighLordDave
Have you played any of the Star Wars PC games?

Let's see I got X-Wing, B-Wing .............the whole X-Wing series, TIE Fighter series (on CD). It's rocks but not for those new SW Games

Originally posted by HighLordDave
When Picard disciplines an officer, he only dresses them down in private. Vader crushes their throat on the bridge for all to see.

It's like the two sides of a coin, Picard reflects a good superior. While Vader reflects a tyranical superior. BTW I'd love that Force Choke

HighLordDave · Post by **HighLordDave** » Tue May 14, 2002 12:04 pm

Seven owes her appeal to spandex.

Aside from Elite Force, name one good Star Trek game. Sure some of the Star Wars games have been, ah, less than good (Force Commander), but at least none have been as bad as Klingon Academy. Other good games in the Star Wars franchise are Dark Forces and Jedi Knight (haven't played Jedi Knight II yet), X-Wing Alliance and Galactic Battlegrounds (sure it's based on the Age of Empires engine, but Elite Force is a Quake III-engine game).

If you read reviews of Star Trek games, even the good ones, they usually have some reference to a history of bad predecessors which bear the Star Trek name either because of bugginess or just being a bad product. Perhaps because of the success of the X-Wing/TIE Fighter series, Star Wars games do not need any such qualification.

Picard was only a nice guy because Gene Roddenberry didn't think of the Force first. If Picard could use the Force Choke on someone, don't think for a minute that he wouldn't use it.

Dave's script excerpt:

[Picard pointing at Wesley Crusher] "Wesley, you've messed around in the Enterprise's computer for the last time. I find your lack of compelling character development disturbing." [Wesley chokes, his lifeless body falling to the deck; Picard is still pointing] "This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Wesley Crusher and will soon see the end of Q, the Borg and everyone else who has ever bugged me."

If you want true insight into Picard's leadership, look at what happened when he left Riker in command: Will crashed the ship into a planet. Han Solo let Lando drive the Millenium Falcon, and Lando just knocked the deflector dish off and chipped some paint.