:Your mother was a vain barbarian who befriended apes
Your mother was a vomitous petrol-pump attendant who worshiped cheese in disused mines
Your mother was a vomit-inducing dimwit who drew all her self-esteem from vodka on a farm
Your mother was an unimpressive circus performer who always used to wake up near a windmill
Your mother was a trigger happy cafeteria lady who wanted you to learn about life under the sink
Your mother was a flaky zombie who lived in a closely guarded military compound
Your mother was a drain-inhabiting computer programmer who practiced the Jedi mind trick in the home for the permanently baffled
Your mother was an offensive Jehovah’s witness who lived a life of sin and misery in the red light district of Amsterdam
Your mother was a bitter Spice girl wannabe who laughed manically down a drain
Your mother was a empty-headed gitface who opened an animal sanctuary in a small tent in the middle of nowhere
Your mother was a cranky trooper who wore a PVC maids outfit with a small imaginary friend called Derek
Your mother was a pitiful dope who paraded herself nude somewhere in the USA
Thou Vain pinch-spotted barnacle
Thou saucy rug-headed rats bane
Thou dankish beef-witted codpiece
Thou peevish ill-breeding egg-shell
Thou mangled lily-livered death-token
Thou wayward milk-livered flax-wench
Thou villainous muddy-mettled moldwarp
Thou mangled onion-eyed gudgeon
Thou ruttish toad-spotted hugger-mugger
Thou fawning clay-brained whipster
Thou wenching shard-borne strumpet
Thou mewling onion-eyed malt-worm
Thou warped elf-skinned harpy
Thou frothy weak-hinged skainsmate
Thou infectious eye-offending footlicker
Thou gnarling, flap mouthed hugger-mugger
You evil smelling excuse for industrial strength frog fat
You subhuman tub of radioactive stomach acid
You vile barrel of gruesome toad tumour
You Psychotic eruption of radioactive rat cysts
You fossilised exhibition of pus-ridden groin-inflammation
You decrepit assortment of industrial-strength sinus-drainage
You bewildered cake of embarrassing ewok excrement
You spittle-encrusted vat of sun-ripened coyote snot
You brainless stack or wormy drain clogs
