But WAIT...there's more...(you can't write)

Witch King · Post by **Witch King** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 2:06 pm

Admit it. When you go online and it's late at night, and no one is on SYM (or at least, no one you like), you watch TV. And not just TV, but infomercials.

No, I don't believe you, everyone does, it's ok. You like them.

But do you have what it takes to produce an infomercial? I doubt it. Let's see if you can write what is known as the CTA (Call to Action), or the part of the infomercial where the Voice Over comes in to pitch the product and tell you to act now.

Here are a few phrases to help you out:
"limited time guarantee"
"call in the next thirty minutes and you'll get a coupon redeemable for fifteen minutes of phone sex with Waverly's mom...."
"it even cuts through a tin can!"
"But that's not all..."
"Extra bonus! 30 lashes with a whip from Vivien'"
etc, etc.

So write a Call To Action from 3-40 lines long and the winner and runner up will be determined by a vote, and will recieve a bunch of cookies.

Ok, good luck to you all.

You ask "But what product are we selling?". I'll tell you.

A thirty day, free trial in the online forum, Speak Your Mind ($197.08/month after the first month) of course.

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 2:49 pm

For just $197.08 a month you yourself could be part of a once in a lifetime offer. Exclusive to this channel for a short period of time you can ingratiate yourself with a whole host of interesting and intellectual people, they will stretch your mind even as your vocabulary increases to a level unheard of since the days of Dubbyah. If intellect isn't your cup of Tea then there is a whole host of other "Activities" one can get involved in; they range from whips, chain's to pretty much any other vice you can think of...and for an extra 30 dollars you can get 30 lashed with a whip from mistress T, that is a lash a dollar, take advantage today and don't forget to bring your Hamper!

(Nice thread BTW Foul

)

Witch King · Post by **Witch King** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 2:52 pm

Right on Sleep!

Sleep so far is the UNANIMOUS victor.

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 2:58 pm

Originally posted by Witch King
Right on Sleep!

Last time you were here - ages back - you had job troubles (you weren't getting paid) how goes it now?

Unanimous victor, well yea me!!

Witch King · Post by **Witch King** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 3:00 pm

Originally posted by Mr Sleep

Last time you were here - ages back - you had job troubles (you weren't getting paid) how goes it now?

Well, I still haven't been paid from that job, and I don't think I ever will. I moved across the country and started in a new company in my industry which I've been at for about 8 months. I'm pretty tired of it, my drive is sort of gone, but the money is good. How has your life been?

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 3:07 pm

Originally posted by Witch King

Well, I still haven't been paid from that job, and I don't think I ever will. I moved across the country and started in a new company in my industry which I've been at for about 8 months. I'm pretty tired of it, my drive is sort of gone, but the money is good. How has your life been?

That must be annoying

My life is not too bad at all, work takes up most of my time and the pay is crap, but i enjoy it (as much as one can

) Other than that everything is pretty easy going, i have been considering going back into education, not sure what yet though

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 3:08 pm

This is your big chance so act now. You'll never have to worry about your social ineptitude again. Kiss those lonely evenings of watching 'Nick at Nite' goodbye. Just go to gamebanshee.com. That's W-W-W-gamebanshee.com.

If you act now, you'll receive 30 free days and get the latest on computer RPG's and have a chance to visit the forums where you'll meet some of the wackiest characters on the Internet. Spend some time in one of the forums many virtual pubs where you'll pound electric shine 'til its' all good.

You'll also receive a private mailbox where you can send messages to inidividual members. Got a little knick-knack intended for one member only. No problem, just send 'em a PM.

GameBanshee.com also includes hints, tips, strategies, walkthroughs, and item descriptions of all your favorite games provided by gamebanshee.com members who have wasted hundreds of hours of their lives playing the games you can't seem to figure out.

Sound Great...but wait, there's more.

For a limited time we've got special edition posters of Bloodstalker's hairy back.

That's right, you can have the drunkest member of GameBanshee.com hanging up on your own wall.

Call in the next sixty minutes and you'll get the added bonus of having one of the Dark Flames pretend to be your friend. Who will you get...the jovial T'laniya, the flirtatious Vivien, the saucy Yshania, or one of many others. They provide catchy acronyms and smilies in response to your initial posts to welcome you to the game banshee community. So don't hesitate. Become affiliated with the Internets' most popular band of females today.

GameBanshee.comisaregistereddomaincreatedandadministeredbyBuckSatan.Signupnowandreceive30daysfree.Ifyou'resatisfiedremainamemberandpay$107.95/month.Themoderatorsreservetherighttodeletepostsandaccountsbasedoncontentfiltering.Behaveyourselfandbecomeamemberofthemostaddictiveonlineforumtoday.Internetconnectionnotprovided.

my disclaimer got chopped up

HighLordDave · Post by **HighLordDave** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 3:12 pm

Do you want to meet lots of people from varying backgrounds from all around the world? Is your idea of a good time engaging in intellectual exercises with people with differing value systems and cultural contexts? If so, go somewhere else.

If you want hours upon hours of mind-numbing conversation, vapid inuenndo and inane flame wars, then look no further than SYM.

SYM: That's Speak Your Mind, brought to you by GameBanshee.com.

Call us now for a free 30 day trial membership! That's 30 days of free patricipation in the liveliest forum that doesn't involve actual porn. If you like SYM, and you will, then you can continue your membership for a paltry $197.80 per month--that's only $6,236.45 Canadian--after that.

Listen to these testimonials:

Ozzy Osbourne - "SYM kicks f****** ass! It's the f****** bomb. I could spend f****** hours on f****** SYM."

Bill Clinton - "I love SYM - especially that Vivien. I swear, if she had a real picture as her avatar, I'd go blind."

Darryl Strawberry - "I used to be a SYM member. But then I quit . . . and that's when I got busted for drugs again."

Homer Simpson - "SYM has saved my life. Since Flanders's wife died, he was driving me crazy. Now, he spends almost all of his time on this SYM thing and I've stolen almost all of his power tools and eaten all of his donuts . . . Mmmm . . . donuts . . . yum."

That's right, folks! With SYM, you will cease bothering your neighbours, you won't do drugs, and you'll be too busy to molest interns. Plus, pop stars love SYM, so you should, too.

That's SYM - only $197.80 per month after this free 30 day membership!

If you call in the next 10 minutes, we'll throw in a free Ass-Flexor(TM) and twenty pounds of Oxy-Clean(TM).

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 3:15 pm

Need to spend more time staring at a screen full of white text online?

Want to read things written all but imaginary faceless people, then spam their thread because you want a higher post count?

Want to pretend you're three different people so that you look really popular while only talking to yourself?

Want to spend an evening discussing the finer points of electric-shock therapy in an imaginary pub?

No?

Go on, it's free*, fun**, and will enhance your love life beyond your wildest dreams***.

SYM WANTS YOUr money

*albeit temporarily
**if you like that sort of thing
***well, it could. really. Well, probably not, but still...

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 4:58 pm

I would love to respond to this thread, but I never watch TV commercials, so I dont know what you are talking about

Witch King · Post by **Witch King** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:05 pm

Originally posted by Dottie
I would love to respond to this thread, but I never watch TV commercials, so I dont know what you are talking about

another LIAR. You are so in love with infomercials.

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:26 pm

Originally posted by Witch King

another LIAR. You are so in love with infomercials.

Yeah, I know. But someone had to say that.

Witch King · Post by **Witch King** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:30 pm

Originally posted by Dottie

Yeah, I know. But someone had to say that.

I agree, though I was expecting the wise-ass comment to come from someone else. So, how are you voting on the T'lainya As Tyrant Poll?

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:38 pm

Originally posted by Witch King

I agree, though I was expecting the wise-ass comment to come from someone else. So, how are you voting on the T'lainya As Tyrant Poll?

The zero doesnt bother me really, but I can rest my vote if you prefer that.

Witch King · Post by **Witch King** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:39 pm

Originally posted by Dottie

The zero doesnt bother me really, but I can rest my vote if you prefer that.

I do prefer, thank you.

T'lainya: Ha!

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:44 pm

Originally posted by Witch King

I do prefer to hide alone in my room for weeks at atime with the curtains closed, never going outside for anything, and staring at the walls for hours thank you.

T'lainya: Ha!

Thats ok Foul, you're entitled to live like that if you want

Witch King · Post by **Witch King** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:46 pm

ANOTHER ABUSE OF POWER

Originally posted by T'lainya

Thats ok Foul, you're entitled to live like that if you want

You knew this would appear on the top of the page and stay there, and you did it deliberately. Can we rate Moderators?

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:51 pm

You like the abuse

Originally posted by Witch King

You knew this would appear on the top of the page and stay there, and you did it deliberately. Can we rate Moderators?

It only stays on the top of the page if you have your page viewing options set at whatever yours are set at. On my page it appears near the bottom. If you persist in this behavior I'll hack your computer and change all your wallpapers, icons and backgrounds to Weasels "The Cher years" picture

Witch King · Post by **Witch King** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:57 pm

Is that a threat? You wouldn't dare. Besides, I'll just bribe Weasel to crash the boards again, and when they are re-instated, I'LL BE ADMINISTRATOR.

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Wed Apr 03, 2002 5:58 pm

You're planning a coup against Buck?!? TRAITOR!