...in case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Damn,
and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how???.)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do
not turn upside down." (Well,duh! A bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be
hot after heating." (And you thought????.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes
on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a
car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and I'm taking this because???.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the
other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this.
I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh. fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company.
I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God! Was there a
lot of this happening somewhere?)
"There is no weakness in honest sorrow... only in succumbing to depression over what cannot be changed." --- Alaundo, BG2
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Originally posted by Aegis That was great. we're so dumb!
...we're DOOOOOOOMMMMMEDDDDD!!!!!!!
"There is no weakness in honest sorrow... only in succumbing to depression over what cannot be changed." --- Alaundo, BG2
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On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well,duh! A bit late, huh!) And you DON'T holds things over your head to read them?
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)Internally, duh!
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this.
I'm a bit curious.)replace the 'the' with 'any'?
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh. fly Delta?)perhaps if they *didn't* need the instructions they would be on Delta.
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God! Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)When I was a young apprentice the best advice I ever got was 'don't put your hand anyplace you wouldn't put your genitals'.
Nice one Maharlika.
Any person who can underestimate human stupidity just ain't been around! - Curdis !
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[quote="Dilbert]That's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard[/quote]
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Originally posted by HighLordDave Here's the scary part: those labels aren't there just for your amusement; someone has actually done the stuff they're warning you not to do.
In that case, my sympathies to those unlucky Swedes...
"There is no weakness in honest sorrow... only in succumbing to depression over what cannot be changed." --- Alaundo, BG2
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On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
Maybe they had dieters in mind? One person once told me she had read a diet book by an American diet-guru that stated more energy is consumed if we eat frozen food, so this book recommended people to eat frozen food.
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)
Submarine use?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this.
I'm a bit curious.) After having seen a documentary of the comparatively high incidence of paraphilia among Japanese men, I can only guess....
When I visited the US first time, I actually laughed a lot at instruction and warning text - I've never been to any other country that has such a incredible amount of strange warnings and instructions, like when I bought one of things things you light fires and gas stoves with (what is it called in English?) and it was wrapped in a plastic cover with the text: Remove cover before use.
Must be because they can be sued if they don't have it
"There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates
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Originally posted by HighLordDave Here's the scary part: those labels aren't there just for your amusement; someone has actually done the stuff they're warning you not to do.
Here is the warning which accompanies the issuing of a security pass:
Your pass is sensitive to temperature. DO NOT:
* Leave yopur pass on the dashboard or centre console of your motor vehicle.
* POut your pass in your clothes drier, washing machine or microwave oven.
Your pass is sensitive to mechanical damage. DO NOT:
* Bend, Fold, Staple, Mutilate;
* Punch additional holes in your pass, or;
* Remove the photo for your passport.
We would not mention any of the above if they had not ALL been done.
Imagine if there was a 'think tank' group (or similar) sitting around a table trying to second guess our boundless stupidity!
@ Maharlika - Sorry about your house - Curdis !
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[quote="Dilbert]That's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard[/quote]
[quote=Waverly]You all suck donkeys[/quote]
[quote={deleted after legal threats}]I am so not a drama queen![/quote"]
Originally posted by C Elegans ROFL, good one Maharlika
When I visited the US first time, I actually laughed a lot at instruction and warning text - I've never been to any other country that has such a incredible amount of strange warnings and instructions, like when I bought one of things things you light fires and gas stoves with (what is it called in English?) and it was wrapped in a plastic cover with the text: Remove cover before use.
Must be because they can be sued if they don't have it
... you could see some funny stuff written in English. But hey, this is not anything against the Thais, it's not an English-speaking country afterall
@Curdis: No worries, my friend. We survived through it all, and we're doing pretty fine now... though there were a lot of things lost there that money just can't buy.
"There is no weakness in honest sorrow... only in succumbing to depression over what cannot be changed." --- Alaundo, BG2
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"You can't kill me 'cause I've got magic armoraaaaargh !"
"They're only kobolds!"
So he kills kittens? Nothing to fear about that. (CM about Foul on SYM)
"Hey Beldin ! I don't like your face !"
"Nevermore."
There is also the now-infamous case of an American woman suing a microwave manufacturer after she attempted to dry her pet poodle in her microwave after giving it a bath. Apparently they neglected to have a warning telling people not to do this. The worst bit is that she won the court case.
The scary bit is that most of the people who do these things can vote, and some probably have guns...
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I graduated in marketing and advertising, and in college several times you are told never to underestimate the stupidity of consumers. In the USA, where people sue companies on a daily basis, the need for detailed instructions must be even more pronunciated.
There´s an old saying "the only thing well distributed in the world is dumbness".
It´s a proven fact that every person has at least 5 minutes of stupidity per day. The difference between a smart person and a dumb one is that the smart person doesn´t speak or move during her 5 minutes.
"No one expects the Brazilian Inquisitor!"
Abazigal: "Oh my god! They killed Yaga-Shura!"
Sendai: "You bastards!"
Originally posted by Leonardo I
It´s a proven fact that every person has at least 5 minutes of stupidity per day. The difference between a smart person and a dumb one is that the smart person doesn´t speak or move during her 5 minutes.
I admit that I once put a whole egg in a microwave. Pop!
".I guess soldiers have been killing other soldiers quite a bit; I believe it is called war."
