The Devil's Dictionary

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Mar 07, 2002 11:05 pm

Ambrose Bierce was a brillant writer, journalist, and cynic who fought in the American Civil War, and lived outthe remainder of his known life in San Francisco. He grew increasingly embittered with humanity (he was known as "Bitter Bierce"), until he finally decided that he was going to go off and meet the Mexican revolutionary Poncho Villa, whom he said had the right idea about government. In his mid 50's, he vanished, and was never seen again.

His Devil's Dictionary was published only after many of Bierce's epigrammatic definitions began being ripped off by others. I thought I'd put in here a fair sampling, for both better, and worse:

Funeral, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

Fidelity, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

Liar, n. A lawyer with a roving commission.

Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Prejudice, n. A vagrant opinion without visible means of support.

Presidency, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christain religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.

Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.

Battle, n. A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

Wedding, n. A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

Aragorn Returns · Post by **Aragorn Returns** » Fri Mar 08, 2002 12:45 am

well that was, uh, rather depressing

josh · Post by **josh** » Fri Mar 08, 2002 5:25 am

LOL

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Fri Mar 08, 2002 8:02 am

Originally posted by fable
Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Rofl, that was excellent

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Fri Mar 08, 2002 8:07 am

Originally posted by fable

Battle, n. A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.

LOL

Shouldn't that be called MARRIAGE ?

No worries,

Beldin

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Fri Mar 08, 2002 8:24 am

Wow... What a depressive outlook... I like it!

Silur · Post by **Silur** » Fri Mar 08, 2002 9:14 am

LOL! Puts me in a better light. Given time, I could call myself an optimist.

@Dottie: Agreed, the best one of the lot. Strikingly true.

Leonardo · Post by **Leonardo** » Fri Mar 08, 2002 11:01 am

I like Ambrose Bierce´s work and those of his wannabes, including one Brazilian journalist that died a few years ago called Paulo Francis. He was better described by a music from Type O-Negative "Left say that I am fascist, right calling me communist, hate, hate, hate, hatred from all, one and all, no matter what you believe, they don´t believe in you, that´s for sure". I miss his presence on TV.

One of my favorites from Bierce:
To abstain: to succumb to the temptation of negating yourself a pleasure.

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Mar 08, 2002 2:53 pm

I never claimed Bierce was upbeat.

I strongly disagree with many of his aphorisms, but he definitely presents an interesting viewpoint in an amusing fashion.