The Catechism of Cliche

frogus · Post by **frogus** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 10:40 am

Has anyone ever read Myles Na gCopaleen's Catechism of Cliche?
If not...then do!!!! now!!!! It's in abook called The Best of Myles by Flann O'Brien, published by Flamingo modern classics.

frogus · Post by **frogus** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 10:40 am

...and this is going somewhere; just before you moderators start getting twitchy

EMINEM · Post by **EMINEM** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 12:27 pm

Originally posted by frogus
Has anyone ever read Myles Na gCopaleen's Catechism of Cliche?
If not...then do!!!! now!!!! It's in abook called The Best of Myles by Flann O'Brien, published by Flamingo modern classics.

Can't say I've ever heard of this author, but I'm willing to visit my local library to see if it's there. But can you give us some exceprts to whet our appetites? One can't have too much cliches in their repertoire.

BTW, Frogus, what IS your portrait about?

fable · Post by **fable** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 12:34 pm

Re: Re: The Catechism of Cliche

Originally posted by EMINEM

BTW, Frogus, what IS your portrait about?

I second Eminem's query. I can't be sure, but it kinda looks like a post-em trying to emulate a piece of toast.

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 2:45 pm

It looks like a close up of a forg with its head tilted to one side

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 2:58 pm

Originally posted by T'lainya

It looks like a close up of a forg with its head tilted to one side

You have one heck of an imagination!

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 3:15 pm

Originally posted by Yshania

You have one heck of an imagination!

No, it does look like a frog

A Yellow frog with red eyes

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 3:19 pm

LMAO!!

Cheers Viv - I see it now

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 3:46 pm

LOL Ysh

Thank you Viv

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 3:51 pm

Originally posted by T'lainya

LOL Ysh Thank you Viv

@T'l - well you didn't deny it

and for the record - I had my head tipped the wrong way...hmmm...I wonder what personality type that makes me!

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 3:55 pm

LOL Ysh..I wasn't entirely sure I saw it right

As for deliberately choosing to tilt your head the wrong way...

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 4:02 pm

Originally posted by T'lainya

LOL Ysh..I wasn't entirely sure I saw it right As for deliberately choosing to tilt your head the wrong way...

Whoops!! I said that?

at least I am honest if nothing else...

EMINEM · Post by **EMINEM** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 4:09 pm

Originally posted by Vivien

No, it does look like a frog A Yellow frog with red eyes

Ah! I see it now. Thanks - now it makes sense. Hey, 10 points to anyone who can identify its species.

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 4:23 pm

Originally posted by EMINEM

Ah! I see it now. Thanks - now it makes sense. Hey, 10 points to anyone who can identify its species.

It is one of those poisonous tree frogs

forgive my forgetting the latin name...

fable · Post by **fable** » Mon Feb 18, 2002 6:22 pm

Yes! Yes! It is a frog, after all! It looks like one of those spindly South American kind that have poisonous skins, and carry Uzi subs.

josh · Post by **josh** » Tue Feb 19, 2002 6:46 am

Originally posted by fable:
Yes! Yes! It is a frog, after all! It looks like one of those spindly South American kind that have poisonous skins, and carry Uzi subs.

It looks harmless, with those beady eyes... wait, I think I can see the gun barrel

EMINEM · Post by **EMINEM** » Tue Feb 19, 2002 7:15 am

Hey, frogus! Where are those cliche excerpts I asked you about? I'm sitting on the edge of my seat staring at my monitor with nail-biting anticipation for you to post 'em up. Sorry, but my patience is as thin as ice, and my temper can explode at any moment like a volcano. So get this ball rolling, my man, and get those examples up before the cows come home.

Gruntboy · Post by **Gruntboy** » Tue Feb 19, 2002 11:07 am

Frogus Lethalus?

Don't they smuggle millions of K's of coke into North America too?

Naughty, naughty poisonous cartel-frogs.

frogus · Post by **frogus** » Tue Feb 19, 2002 11:34 am

well thanks all of you

it kinda looks like a post-em trying to emulate a piece of toast.

one heck of an imagination

and for the record - I had my head tipped the wrong way

poisonous tree frogs

spindly South American kind that have poisonous skins, and carry Uzi subs

It looks harmless

smuggle millions of K's of coke into North America

well it's nice to know that you all took away a positive experience from my picture of a frog....

yes it's a l*************inatory frog!!!!! a frog!!!! arghh!!

frogus · Post by **frogus** » Tue Feb 19, 2002 12:16 pm

The Myles Na gCopaleen Catechism of Cliche. In 356 tri-weekly parts. A unique compendium of all that is nauseating in contemporary writing. Compiled without regard to expense or the feelings of the public. A harrowing survey of sub-literature and all that is pseudo, mal-dicted and calloused in the underworld of print. Given free with the Irish Times. Must not be sold seperately or exported without a license. Copyright, printed on re-pulped sutmonger's aprons. Irish labour, Irish ink. Part one. Section one. Let her out, Mike! Lights! O.K Sullivan, let her ride!

What, as to the quality of solidity, imperviousness, and firmness, are facts?
Hard.
And as to temperature?
Cold.
With what do facts share this quality of frigidity?
Cash.
To what do the hard facts belong?
The situation.
And to what does a cold fact belong?
The matter.
What does a cold fact frequently still do?
Remain.
And what is notoriously useless as a means of altering the hard facts of the situation?
All the talk in the world.
Is this killing you?
It certainly is.

What can one do with fierce resistance, especially in Russia?
Offer it.
But if one puts resistance, in what direction does one put it?
Up.

In what hood is a person who expects money to fall out of the sky?
Second child.

Is a man ever hurt in a motor smash?
No. He sustains an injury.
Does such a man ever die from his injuries?
No. He succumbs to them.
Correct. But supposing an ambulance is sent for. He is put into the ambulance and rushed to hospital. Is he dead when he gets there, assuming he i not alive?
No, he is not dead. Life is found to be extinct.
Correct again. That will do for today.