Falling in love is like getting your foot bit off by a gila monster.

Alienbob · Post by **Alienbob** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 3:50 pm

Well not really but it still sucks. The other day i wrote a letter to this girl that i really really liked. i told her how much i liked her and all that crap. big mistake. turns out she just wants to be friends. it sucks. shes a great friend but she is also exactly the type of girl that i like. shes nice, pretty, mature, etc. why cant life ever be like the movies? or why cant i at least find one girl that i really like who also really likes me? why the hell does love have to be so complicated?

Sailor Saturn · Post by **Sailor Saturn** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 4:20 pm

Originally posted by Alienbob
why the hell does love have to be so complicated?

If it wasn't so complicated, then it wouldn't be love, now would it?

I understand what you mean, though...

Der-draigen · Post by **Der-draigen** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 4:24 pm

*The Anti-Love Goddess, Der-draigen, appears*

Have a virtual beer

I know just how you feel. Been there, done that, got the stupid stinking T-shirt. I've been on both ends actually -- the person who says "Let's just be friends" and the person who says "Why me", at various times.

I wish I could tell you it gets better as the years pass. Unfortunately however, your love interests are only going to get a helluva lot more complicated as time goes on.

And nine times out of ten, the perosn you like/love won't like/love you back. Mutual true love is very, very, very, very rare. Which makes it all the harder when you do find that mutual love, and it gets taken away from you by brute force.

Some people (*cough* Vivien *cough*

) will get on this thread and tell you that the sun will shine tomorrow, you will feel the same and even better for someone else, there are better things in store, she wasn't meant for you anyway, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Me, all I'll do is agree that love hurts like a Patsy Cline/Roy Orbison/Melissa Etheridge box set. So if you want to simply b**ch and moan a bit, I'm a willing ear.

Sailor Saturn · Post by **Sailor Saturn** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 4:37 pm

Originally posted by Der-draigen
*The Anti-Love Goddess, Der-draigen, appears*

*giggles* Alienbob's being 'comforted' by the Goddess of Death and Rebirth and the Anti-Love Goddess. If he isn't already paranoid, he should be.

Some people (*cough* Vivien *cough* ) will get on this thread and tell you that the sun will shine tomorrow, you will feel the same and even better for someone else, there are better things in store, she wasn't meant for you anyway, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

"You never love the same way twice."

@Alienbob, All ya can do is move on; but until you manage that, there ain't much else to do besides drown your sorrows with some fellow broken hearts.

Damn, I wish I could find the words to Drinkin' My Baby Goodbye by Charlie Daniels.

Gwalchmai · Post by **Gwalchmai** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 4:40 pm

Um, Gila Monsters can't bite your foot off. Their mouths are too small.

Maybe if you had really small feet. Like the size of a baby's. But Gila Monsters do have very strong jaws that are almost impossible to pry apart once they do bite you. And they secrete a very potent poison that can kill an healthy adult human. They are very beautiful lizards. On the other hand, Gila Monsters are very slow moving, and you would have to be pretty stupid to get bit by one.

Hmmmm. I have to agree. Love is very often just like getting bit by a Gila Monster!

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 5:41 pm

@SS, I know the line 'Sittin on a barstool" is in there somewhere.

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 5:56 pm

Originally posted by Gwalchmai
Um, Gila Monsters can't bite your foot off.

This is true. They're more like lawyers, in that once they've got hold of something, they never let go. That's their claim to fame. I apologize to all the gila monsters that may be reading this thread, for the simile.

Don't knock friendship. Besides, what the lady may be writing back behind the words is, "I feel like I'm being pushed, and that makes me nervous. I've been hurt before. Let's just see what happens, very gradually."

At any rate, don't let the friendship unravel because it hasn't blossomed into some disgusting, bloated, pink, amorphous movie about couples getting together under London, NY, Seattle or America Online sunsets. Hormones happen quickly. Love happens slowly. Really, it does.

Alienbob · Post by **Alienbob** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 7:19 pm

I would like a beer but i cant drink. im on an anti-depressant<sp?> and i cant have any alchohol.

i wish i could just say that this whole thing was no big deal and shrug my shoulders and walk away, but ive never really liked someone quite as much as this girl. what really sucks though is her saying she just wants to be friends makes me like her even more. why the hell should i be thinking like that? whats the point of falling in love if it just leaves you screwed up and with a broken heart?

and why did i have to fall for one of my good friends? our friendship will probably never be the same again.

btw i know gila monster cant actually bite your foot off, it just sounded better that way.

Sailor Saturn · Post by **Sailor Saturn** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 7:20 pm

Originally posted by Bloodstalker
@SS, I know the line 'Sittin on a barstool" is in there somewhere.

"Sittin' on a barstool, actin' like a durn fool, drinkin' my baby goodbye."

What I should do is get out my Charlie Daniels CD and type it up while listening to it. *runs off in search of her CD CD*

fable · Post by **fable** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 8:32 pm

Originally posted by Alienbob
what really sucks though is her saying she just wants to be friends makes me like her even more. why the hell should i be thinking like that? whats the point of falling in love if it just leaves you screwed up and with a broken heart? and why did i have to fall for one of my good friends? our friendship will probably never be the same again.

That's right: think positive.

Be sure your friendship will be devastated by this exchange of letters. Feel hopeless about things right from the start. Don't bother seeing through anything. Above all, don't bother looking for anyone else!

Yeesh, and I thought I was bad at your age. Well, I was, but I had a few good reasons (more than a decade of childhood physical and mental abuse, chronic asthma from birth). What have you got? Only youth, endless posibilities, and a woman who really wants your friendship. Gods, you have it terrible!

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 9:07 pm

I would like a beer but i cant drink. im on an anti-depressant<sp?> and i cant have any alchohol. i wish i could just say that this whole thing was no big deal and shrug my shoulders and walk away, but ive never really liked someone quite as much as this girl. what really sucks though is her saying she just wants to be friends makes me like her even more. why the hell should i be thinking like that? whats the point of falling in love if it just leaves you screwed up and with a broken heart? and why did i have to fall for one of my good friends? our friendship will probably never be the same again

The point is to go out and buy a guitar and start playing the blues. At least that's what I do.

Alienbob · Post by **Alienbob** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 9:16 pm

@fable- no offense but how do you know what ive been through? you really have no idea. did i mention i was on anti-depression medication? dont you think theres a reason for that? dont think that you are the only one who had problems as kid.

i realize that my previous post may have been a bit immature, but the reason i created this thread was because i was pissed off at life and wanted to gripe about it. my shrink tells me all the time that i need to open up and tell people how i feel. i believe that posting how i feel helps me get through things better. so dammit man dont criticize me for trying to express my feelings.

Alienbob · Post by **Alienbob** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 9:18 pm

@BS- i cant play the guitar worth crap.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 9:50 pm

No one can til they learn and get their heart broke.

VoodooDali · Post by **VoodooDali** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 10:00 pm

Sorry you're feeling so low, AB. I don't think there's any magic solution to the problem. You'll either have to find a way to accept her friendship, and not make her feel constantly pressured for more, or distance yourself if you can't handle it. My only little piece of wisdom is that as you grow older it does get a bit better. Your choices widen considerably once you're out of the confines of high school. And, if it's any consolation--even though I thought having a boyfriend was real important in high school--when I look back on it, my high school romances just sucked. I would have been better off paying more attention to my education. The guys were all too horny, and the girls all wanted a fantasy relationship (knight in shining armor kind of stuff, you know?). I turned down quite a few really nice guys because they did not have the dark mysterious rock star kind of thing I was looking for at the time. As I grew older, (and dated too many musicians, hehe), I came to appreciate other qualities in men more--like kindness and humor. Esp. kindness. I probably sound like an old fart--time heals all wounds (or time wounds all heels), tomorrow is another day, things will get better--but it is true.

Alienbob · Post by **Alienbob** » Sat Feb 16, 2002 10:08 pm

@VoodooDali- Thanks.

fable · Post by **fable** » Sun Feb 17, 2002 12:02 am

Originally posted by Alienbob
i realize that my previous post may have been a bit immature, but the reason i created this thread was because i was pissed off at life and wanted to gripe about it. my shrink tells me all the time that i need to open up and tell people how i feel. i believe that posting how i feel helps me get through things better. so dammit man dont criticize me for trying to express my feelings.

Sheesh, man--I'm not criticizing you, I'm trying to help you lift your spirits.

The only way I got out of the little but incredibly deep suicidal hellhole I was in was by doing something about it. You're certainly welcome to dissociate yourself from my advice, but you really should be able to tell friendly laughter from heckling. (Especially when it's accompanied by winking emoticons!) In any case, good luck in getting past your emotions, and back into life. (And don't let that friend slip through your fingers, either.)

Gwalchmai · Post by **Gwalchmai** » Sun Feb 17, 2002 1:03 am

Originally posted by Alienbob
btw i know gila monster cant actually bite your foot off, it just sounded better that way.

It has been brought to my attention (by my annoyingly intelligent wife) that Gila Monsters can, in fact, bite your foot off. However, in my defence, this is not their primary mode of attack. No, given their druthers, they would much rather slap a hockey puck into your forehead or trip you with their hockey stick. They are amazingly violent little critters.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Sun Feb 17, 2002 2:10 am

@Alienbob: Sorry to hear you're both depressed and have a broken heart

Love can be so very painful. The same things that makes love special - the lack of control over it, the intense feelings, the unpredictability - is also what makes it difficult and complicated.

I'm not sure it's a good idea to start out a friendship with this girl, not a close friendship anyway. Often, it just adds to the pain to try to be friends when one really would want something more out of the relationship. And what if you become close friends and she meets another guy? Can you bear to watch her being happy with somebody else and feel happiness for her?

Believe me, I've tried to be friends with many guys who initially were in love with me, and all of these friendship relationships have turned out in pain and suffering. It's more difficult to cease hoping when you have a person around you, and hoping and waiting for somebody to change their minds is not a god idea, usually.

I think you should keep a little bit of a distance to her, at least for a while, and maybe try out a friendship later, when your feelings are not so intense anymore.

Btw, I don't at all think it was a mistake that you told her your feelings, even if it turned out she only wanted to be friends. I think it was brave of you to express what you felt, and in love, we have to take risks and expose ourselves, otherwise nothing will ever happen

Der-draigen · Post by **Der-draigen** » Sun Feb 17, 2002 8:59 am

@AB: Re the beer: Been there too, my friend. This is virtual beer, it's okay

But I also have some nice cold spring water if that's more to your liking at this time

*Hands AB the beverage of his choice*

Originally posted by C Elegans
and in love, we have to take risks and expose ourselves, otherwise nothing will ever happen

That's right! I absolutely agree! If we don't take risks, BAD things won't happen. If we don't expose ourselves, our hearts won't get shattered into so many pieces they'll never all be found!

I'll take a nice risk-free life from now on, thank you very much

Disclaimer:This isn't meant as advice to anyone, just my own personal experssion of lifestyle choice.