Please note that new user registrations disabled at this time.

The Truth

Anything goes... just keep it clean.
User avatar
Yshania
Posts: 8572
Joined: Wed May 09, 2001 10:00 pm
Location: Some Girls Wander By Mistake
Contact:

The Truth

Post by Yshania »

1. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. Given equal bladder size, whenever you go - he goes at the same time.

2. You're never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

3. Reading when you're drunk is horrible!

4. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel manly.

5. You're never quite sure whether it is against the law to have a fire in your own back garden.

6. Nobody ever dares make Cup-a-Soup in a bowl.

7. You never know where to look when eating an apple.

8. It is impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

9. Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel macho.

10. Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

11. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

12. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

13. The most embarrassing thing you can do as a school child is call your teacher mum.

14. The smaller the monkey, the more it looks like it will kill you at the first given opportunity.

15. Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

16. Every bloke whilst releaving himself has at least once flushed the chain half way through and raced against the flush (or may be tempted to try it now! :D )

17. Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

18. It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisby.

19. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

20. Old ladies can eat more than you think.

21. You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

22. There's no panic like the momentary panic when you get your head or hand stuck in something.

23. No-one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

24. People who don't drive slam doors too hard.

25. You've turned into your Dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood to specifically stir paint with.

26. Everyone's had an uncle who has playfully tried to 'steal' their nose with his thumb and forefinger.

27. In every plate of chips, there is always a bad chip.

28. Beneath every floating balloon is a tearful child.

29. Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.
Parachute for sale, like new! Never opened!
Guinness, black goes with everything.
User avatar
Aegis
Posts: 13412
Joined: Sat Dec 30, 2000 12:00 pm
Location: Soviet Canuckistan
Contact:

Post by Aegis »

Good list. :)
User avatar
Tom
Posts: 605
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2001 11:00 pm
Location: The Hundred Acre Wood
Contact:

Post by Tom »

Originally posted by Yshania


3. Reading when you're drunk is horrible!

Nahh. i wouldnt have made it through uni if it was.
Originally posted by Yshania


8. It is impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

hmm - i think you just did.
I didn't really bounce Eeyore. I had a cough, and I happened to be behind Eeyore, and I said "Grrrr-oppp-ptschschschz."

Tigger
User avatar
dragon wench
Posts: 19609
Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2001 10:00 pm
Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
Contact:

Post by dragon wench »

LMAO ! :cool: :D
Spoiler
testingtest12
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Spoiler
testingtest12
.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain.
User avatar
Ned Flanders
Posts: 4867
Joined: Mon May 28, 2001 10:00 pm
Location: Springfield
Contact:

Post by Ned Flanders »

nice list ysh
Crush enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women.
User avatar
Morlock
Posts: 1363
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 10:00 pm
Location: Jerusalem, Israel
Contact:

Post by Morlock »

Originally posted by Yshania
29. Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.
Well, when your right, your right. There's no arguing that statement.
"Veni,Vidi,vici!"
(I came,I saw,I conquered!) Julius Ceasar
User avatar
Aegis
Posts: 13412
Joined: Sat Dec 30, 2000 12:00 pm
Location: Soviet Canuckistan
Contact:

Post by Aegis »

I wonder why they taste better though? :D
User avatar
Morlock
Posts: 1363
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 10:00 pm
Location: Jerusalem, Israel
Contact:

Post by Morlock »

Originally posted by Aegis
I wonder why they taste better though? :D

Elementry My dear Watson!
This has the easiest answer of them all!

IT JUST DOES!
"Veni,Vidi,vici!"
(I came,I saw,I conquered!) Julius Ceasar
User avatar
Aegis
Posts: 13412
Joined: Sat Dec 30, 2000 12:00 pm
Location: Soviet Canuckistan
Contact:

Post by Aegis »

Originally posted by Morlock


Elementry My dear Watson!
This has the easiest answer of them all!

IT JUST DOES!
good enough reason for me! :D
User avatar
Morlock
Posts: 1363
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 10:00 pm
Location: Jerusalem, Israel
Contact:

Post by Morlock »

Originally posted by Aegis
good enough reason for me! :D

You'll be amazed at how many questions could simply be solved with that simple saying. ;)
"Veni,Vidi,vici!"
(I came,I saw,I conquered!) Julius Ceasar
User avatar
Sailor Saturn
Posts: 4288
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2001 10:00 pm
Location: Titan Castle Throne Room
Contact:

Post by Sailor Saturn »

Originally posted by Morlock


Elementry My dear Watson!
This has the easiest answer of them all!

IT JUST DOES!
There's an even better answer than that.

Because.

:D
Protected by Saturn, Planet of Silence... I am the soldier of death and rebirth...I am Sailor Saturn.

I would also like you to meet my alternate personality, Mistress 9.

Mistress 9: You will be spammed. Your psychotic and spamming distinctiveness will be added to the board. Resistance is futile. *evil laugh*

Ain't she wonderful? ¬_¬

I knew I had moree in common with BS than was first apparent~Yshania

[color=sky blue]The male mind is nothing but a plaything of the woman's body.~My Variation on Nietzsche's Theme[/color]

Real men love Jesus. They live bold and holy lives, they're faithful to their wives, real men love Jesus.~Real Men Love Jesus; Herbie Shreve

Volo comparare nonnulla tegumembra.
User avatar
Morlock
Posts: 1363
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2001 10:00 pm
Location: Jerusalem, Israel
Contact:

Post by Morlock »

Originally posted by Sailor Saturn


There's an even better answer than that.

Because.

:D
I am ashamed to have forgotten the root of all answers. Thank you SS, for showing me the way.

"To Alcohol! the cause of, and salution to, all of lifes problems!"
"Veni,Vidi,vici!"
(I came,I saw,I conquered!) Julius Ceasar
User avatar
Aegis
Posts: 13412
Joined: Sat Dec 30, 2000 12:00 pm
Location: Soviet Canuckistan
Contact:

Post by Aegis »

Originally posted by Morlock


I am ashamed to have forgotten the root of all answers. Thank you SS, for showing me the way.

"To Alcohol! the cause of, and salution to, all of lifes problems!"
I'll drink to that! :D
User avatar
Yshania
Posts: 8572
Joined: Wed May 09, 2001 10:00 pm
Location: Some Girls Wander By Mistake
Contact:

Post by Yshania »

Originally posted by Sailor Saturn


There's an even better answer than that.

Because.

:D
How about 'who knows?' ;)
Parachute for sale, like new! Never opened!
Guinness, black goes with everything.
User avatar
VoodooDali
Posts: 1992
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2001 11:00 pm
Location: Spanking Witch King
Contact:

Post by VoodooDali »

Originally posted by Yshania


How about 'who knows?' ;)
How about "because my mom said so." (always worked when I was about 6 years old...)
“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” - Edgar Allen Poe
User avatar
Aegis
Posts: 13412
Joined: Sat Dec 30, 2000 12:00 pm
Location: Soviet Canuckistan
Contact:

Post by Aegis »

Originally posted by Yshania


How about 'who knows?' ;)
I like that one too! :D
User avatar
VoodooDali
Posts: 1992
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2001 11:00 pm
Location: Spanking Witch King
Contact:

Post by VoodooDali »

How about "In accordance with the Prophecy."
“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” - Edgar Allen Poe
User avatar
Yshania
Posts: 8572
Joined: Wed May 09, 2001 10:00 pm
Location: Some Girls Wander By Mistake
Contact:

Post by Yshania »

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

LMAO! :D These kids make me wonder whether wisdom actually deteriorates with age...

What would you do on a first date that was going sour?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns ~ Craig, age 9

How do you decide who to marry?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports and should keep the chips and dip coming ~ Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all the way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with ~ Kirsten, age 10

What is the right age to get married?

Twenty three is the best age because you know the person for ever by then ~ Camilla, age 10

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

You could guess based on whether they are yelling at the same kids ~ Derrick, age 8

What do your mum and dad have in common?

They both don't want any more kids ~ Lori, age 8

What do most people do on a date?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough ~ Lynette, age 8

On the first date they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date ~ Martin, age 10

When is it OK to kiss someone?

When they're rich ~ Pam, age 7

If you kiss someone, then you should marry them - it is the right thing to do ~ Howard, age 8

Is it better to be single or married?

It's better for girls to be single but not boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them ~ Anita, age 9

How would you make a marriage work?

Tell your wife she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck ~ Ricky, age 10

;)
Parachute for sale, like new! Never opened!
Guinness, black goes with everything.
User avatar
dragon wench
Posts: 19609
Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2001 10:00 pm
Location: The maelstrom where chaos merges with lucidity
Contact:

Post by dragon wench »

If you kiss someone, then you should marry them - it is the right thing to do ~ Howard, age 8



ROFLMAO! :D

*envisions bigamy as a national sport*

Hmmmm.......wonder which nation would win if it became an Olympic event? :D :p :eek:
Spoiler
testingtest12
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Spoiler
testingtest12
.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain.
User avatar
frogus
Posts: 2682
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2002 3:54 pm
Location: Rock 'n Roll Highschool
Contact:

Post by frogus »

things that make me feel manly

1.Crossing right leg over left and reading newspaper on bus
2.Two tone shoes
3.Talking politics with Fable
4.Wearing sunglasses at night
5.Having an extremely battered copy of the Divine Comedy
6.Not laughing at my own jokes when other people do
7.Quoting Plato
8.Potting two yellows on the break
9.chalking cue with masturbatory wrist action ala The Hustler
10.Cutting food up thoroughly and making people wait fror me to swallow it before I reply in dazzlingly witty style to their question
11.Giving strangers a withering glance on the street
12.Have dogs stop barking as I walk past
13.Wearing paisley to school
Love and Hope and Sex and Dreams are Still Surviving on the Street
Post Reply