The Comm and Spammer Deprogramming Thread.

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 9:37 am

Perhaps I was a bit harsh with the members of these two groups. I treated them as if they were willing participants in the madness to which they were a party, when in actuality the truth may be quite different. They are cult members and need intervention and a deprogramming.

1. Receiving of a moving and or spiritual message from an authority figure who seeks to control the ideology of members. - can you say Weasel?
2. Special set of rules that you must obey or be cast out. - applies to both groups
3. Promises of reward in this life or the next for the faithful; retribution for the opposition. - follow the light, commers?
4. Sacrificing personal assets to the cause. - Send all your money to Weasel?
5. Unnatural strong kinship between members. - not to mention homoerotic undertones
6. Leaders of eccentric or even neurotic pathology. - Need I mention him again?
7. The spiritual group demands that you accept its teachings without reservation. - we’ve seen how doubters are treated
8. Unabashed recruitment of new members. - check on both groups
9. Exclusion of non members from the lives of members. - they actually seem to be at war
10. Teachings that member may need to make extreme sacrifices for the good of the group. - Weasel did tell them to take on Waverly, did he not?

I’m going to call up our old, and slightly less evil, friend Doc Waverly to assist in deprogramming the cult members. The office is now open, and the Doc is in.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 10:10 am

good... the doc is back. I need some more pills...

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 10:49 am

Aegis I’m glad you stopped by. I see the electro-convulsive therapy I prescribed during your last visit didn’t take. A shame. If you are suggesting a chemical lobotomy, you may well be on to something, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

If you can renounce spam, post a meaningful topic for discussion, and ask out a real live girl your own age; we shall consider you far enough on the road to recovery that I may not need to fry part of you cerebrum.

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 10:49 am

I'll concur with aegis there. He's been complaining regularly in the tavern of being plugged up. Perhaps if you could set him up with another jar of BowelMax, you'd be doing him a great service.

I, for one, hold no allegiance to spammers or COMMers, and have yet to be approached by servants of either sect. I cannot say if that is a good or bad thing.

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 11:24 am

Originally posted by Ned Flanders
I, for one, hold no allegiance to spammers or COMMers, and have yet to be approached by servants of either sect. I cannot say if that is a good or bad thing. [/b]

My first success! This is much easier than the manual said it was going to be. I didn't even need to break out the rosary beads or Malleus Maleficarum.

Go forth and prosper, Ned.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 11:38 am

Originally posted by Waverly
Aegis I’m glad you stopped by. I see the electro-convulsive therapy I prescribed during your last visit didn’t take. A shame. If you are suggesting a chemical lobotomy, you may well be on to something, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

If you can renounce spam, post a meaningful topic for discussion, and ask out a real live girl your own age; we shall consider you far enough on the road to recovery that I may not need to fry part of you cerebrum.

I don't know about the chemical stuff.. But the topic sounds like a plan. Oh yeah, just FYI, I do have a real girlfriend.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 12:11 pm

As is the case with Ned, I have no allegieance to Spam or COMM, I think this raises an interesting point. Perhaps a high enough alcohol level in the blood renders one immune.

I may have to test this theory.

CM · Post by CM » Thu Jan 31, 2002 12:18 pm

ok de-programme me.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 12:21 pm

CM? I am shocked!

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 12:23 pm

COMMers and SPAMers, beware! Whereas doc Waverly's initiative to reprogram you from brainwash by destructive cults is honorable, it might also hold a hidden danger. During a deprogram process you are extremely vulnerably to new influences, especially so from the person who is re-programming you. You don't want to end up following Waverly instead, do you?

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 12:26 pm

So CE, are you offering alternative treaatment?

CM · Post by CM » Thu Jan 31, 2002 12:28 pm

Hey i want to prove the wank master wrong!

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 12:31 pm

I believe this should be intereestibng to watch then. care for some tea before you get started?

CM · Post by CM » Thu Jan 31, 2002 12:37 pm

why certainly thanks alot.
So where is thsi doc??
He always late?

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 1:12 pm

Ever known a Dr. who was on time ?

McBane · Post by **McBane** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 1:17 pm

Meaningful Topic?

Originally posted by Waverly
Aegis I’m glad you stopped by. I see the electro-convulsive therapy I prescribed during your last visit didn’t take. A shame. If you are suggesting a chemical lobotomy, you may well be on to something, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

If you can renounce spam, post a meaningful topic for discussion, and ask out a real live girl your own age; we shall consider you far enough on the road to recovery that I may not need to fry part of you cerebrum.

There are not too many meaningful topics...You would have a very small SYM

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 2:29 pm

Originally posted by Bloodstalker
So CE, are you offering alternative treaatment?

Hey! Maybe she's offering "Hands on" treatment!

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 2:46 pm

Aegis, I see my treatment has already had a positive effect on you. I really am quite good at this. But… I didn’t hear you renounce spam. You must know that while posting is enjoyable, it is best to post with some content rather than just the thrill of seeing your name in the left hand column. Even with my own high post count, I like to think I have always had something to say when hitting ‘submit’; though I’m am loath call this the ‘c’ word that a certain varmint has taken to using.

Bloodstalker, I see I have cured you as well. You are quite welcome, and I will post my rather hefty fee to your address at the tavern.

CM, Let’s see. I like to tailor my program to the individual, so what worked for Aegis, Ned, and Bloodstalker may not work for you. I think your should embrace the posting of content by writing an erotic story staring you and Gruntboy. Just don’t get yourself banned. In addition, you must post a public announcement separating yourself from Weasel. Get started and let me know how you make out… And yes, the Doc is aware that you expect this to fail so you can report back to Weasel and be fondled in reward. But so long as you follow my treatment schedule, I’m certain I can deprogram you.

CE, I see you are still bitter because of the botched personality adjustment. I did reduce your bill substantially, did I not? *sigh* I’m still determined to help you… put on a gown and hop up on my couch.

McBane: This is true, but one must at least be able to speak coherently when necessary.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 2:51 pm

Originally posted by Waverly
Aegis, I see my treatment has already had a positive effect on you. I really am quite good at this. But… I didn’t hear you renounce spam. You must know that while posting is enjoyable, it is best to post with some content rather than just the thrill of seeing your name in the left hand column. Even with my own high post count, I like to think I have always had something to say when hitting ‘submit’; though I’m am loath call this the ‘c’ word that a certain varmint has taken to using.

wow.. Never though that the cause of spamming could be the recognition of your name on the side. I think the Doc just made a breakthrough. How low I have sunk to mind;ess spam. I used to have a point!

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Thu Jan 31, 2002 3:52 pm

Master Doc Waverly, It's good to have your comeback again !

I've been trying to maintain the balance but seems like the job is endless. I shall return your purple pills which you entrusted me when you're going on your meditation.

Upon your return may i suggest you to enhanced this enchanted purple pills since it seems less effect on some people