Sacrifices.....

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Fri Jul 06, 2001 2:17 pm

A hard one to ponder. I anticipate there will be a mixture of serious answers and serious spamming to this one but out of interest (and it is not a serious question just an curious one)...

Given a situation like, for instance, becoming part of a settled relationship, having children, saving your money for a new car, becoming unexpectedly unemployed, affording to stay in school, finally admitting you are too old for something, etc etc (whatever reason) what would be the hardest thing for you to sacrifice?

It may be for monetary or pleasure reasons....

And would there be something to gain?

Could we be talking about deferred gratification? Putting off current pleasures for future gains...

I will be back with my answers - just need to prioritise or I will be typing all night...

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Fri Jul 06, 2001 2:34 pm

Originally posted by Yshania:
<snip>Could we be talking about deferred gratification? Putting off current pleasures for future gains...
<snip>

Well I do this all the time in case of financial questions. I don't live as I would like because I've decided to study and hope to make more money when finished.

But other than that - there are many things I would sacrafice for in ganing other things. There are to many examples to even mention now. But generally for all things with me, I'd calculate the value (being real or emotial value) for the thing to give up and the thing to recive and make my choiche based on that. I don't thing many people blindly gives up something for something of less value to them.

(I wonder if anybody can make sence of my meaning

)

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Fri Jul 06, 2001 2:46 pm

@Xandax and good luck! My two sisters and I left school (though I stayed on until 18) and had to study later in life around a full time job to get where we are now...

But, regarding sacrifices - some people are forced into such a decision...

OK - I will throw one thing in now. Time - the biggest compromise especially when considering such as a relationship or children. But regarding both it is a necessity, fun (most times!), and an investment.

Today my hubby went away for the weekend on a motorbiking holiday with his mates, my kids were in school/playgroup respectively and I had taken the day off work. It was my first day in six years I had had to myself. Such peace!!! I was lost! lol!

My first day to myself and I did the housework - but without guilt of working around two littlies! lol!

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Fri Jul 06, 2001 2:54 pm

Originally posted by Yshania:
<snip>

But, regarding sacrifices - some people are forced into such a decision...

<snip>

Well I'm not sure I agree with this - I belive that we all make choice, and these choices are based on prefrences.

But to me, time is also one of my most valurable things, but it is hard to talk about giving up time for another thing because one is always exchanging time for other things - even by just sitting and staring out into the air you are exchanging time.
So for instance giving up time for a relationship/children is not as much an notion I can understand.

Giving up ones own hobbies for children I can relate to (not that I have any myself (children that is) )

Guess it is a matter of perception

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Fri Jul 06, 2001 3:16 pm

@Xandax - I agree but one's hobbies do take up one's time.

I cannot justify being on the pc, for instance, one of my hobbies, when I have a husband to spend time with or kids to read to...

One's investments are different. This is what I meant by deferred gratification. My reading a book to my kids is an investment - and not one I feel forced into as it is another pleasure so it must be a preference.

But we might consider that yesterday I may have worked some overtime, or gone to the pub with friends...I come back in time to pick my kids up from school (I am lucky with my working hours). I bring them home and invest that time with them.

Time is only one of a number of issues. How about others? This is not a thread for just parents or people who give their time to a partner.

As a contrast. When my wages stopped after having my first (which could be equated to anyones income falling) we had to reconsider our expenses to see where we could cut back. We had financial responsibilities we could not reduce (ie mortgage) so we had to reasses our other expenditure - such as groceries, petrol (I walked everywhere for over two years!)

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Fri Jul 06, 2001 3:21 pm

Originally posted by Yshania:
<snip>
This is not a thread for just parents or people who give their time to a partner.
<snip>

That is good - because I'm neither

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri Jul 06, 2001 3:30 pm

It sounds really selfish but i would hate to give up my possesions (books. cds, videos etc) i feel they define - to a certain extent - who I am.

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Fri Jul 06, 2001 3:31 pm

lol Xandax - I am going to bed now - my time is being compromised by physical necessity! I will check back in tomorrow!

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Sat Jul 07, 2001 3:38 am

OK - another one. After I had children I had to exchange my motorbike for a family car. I loved biking but it wasn't just about being unable to get around with a bike and a baby it was more to do with accepting the risks of being on a bike when I now had more than my own well being to consider...

leedogg · Post by **leedogg** » Sat Jul 07, 2001 9:55 am

work is a sacrifice!

i spend over half of the year away from my family...this IS my sacrifice. I lose a lot of time with my son and seems i always missed something while i am out here(work). but on the flip side, when i am home it makes it sweeter(the old 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' thingy). My wife begs for me to find work at home, but then the sacrifice would be lack of cash(i'm not a happy camper when i'm broke!). other than this i don't feel i sacrifice much.

as far as the deferred gratification, i think(unless you are very wealthy)this is the case with anyone. i would not call it a sacrifice. I am looking for a car(since the demise of my truck

)so i am not spending any money that isn't a bill i have to pay. no eating out, no new games, no going bowling, or movies, ect...but i will buy a car next wee when i am home! i don't feel i made a sacrifice, i just waited to splurge!

[ 07-07-2001: Message edited by: leedogg ]

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Sat Jul 07, 2001 10:24 am

Without any doubt, the one thing I'd have extreme trouble sacrificing would be my voyage through graduate school.
I would only do so if there were absolutely no other alternatives. In this I am very selfish........

scully1 · Post by **scully1** » Sat Jul 07, 2001 11:55 am

Like I said in Fable's "Death" thread, I think the hardest thing for me to give up would be my training in Aikido. And I'm actually looking at that possibility, since I'll soon be moving away to school and might not be able to afford a dojo

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Sat Jul 07, 2001 1:30 pm

Time is the limiting factor for me, has always been. Money is not so improtant for me, I don't feel I sacrifice anything if I eat cheap food and don't buy books, music, clothes etc for a few months in order to save up for a journey.

I always try to make sacrifices that doesn't really feel like sacrifices, but priorities. Ie I try to focus on what I want to have in my life rather than what I have to let go. That said, of course I have "sacrificed" many things. My job and my studies meant that a lot of my former time consuming hobbies had to go. At one period I sacrificed sleep, and slept about 3-4 hours a day for half a year. I don't recommend this!

Now, my job, my marriage, my travels and my social life are the things I'm not ready to live without.

Raistlin · Post by **Raistlin** » Sat Jul 07, 2001 8:32 pm

To my beloved ...

There are two precious things in my life ..
You and my freedom ... I would sacrifice my life for my freedom , I would sacrifice my freedom for you ..

I love you Miette ..