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Holy Bible Automotive Frenzy

Anything goes... just keep it clean.
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KidD01
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Holy Bible Automotive Frenzy

Post by KidD01 »

Most people assume that WWJD stands for "What would Jesus do?". But the initials actually stand for "What Would Jesus Drive?".

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth, because the Bible states, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury".

However, in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm".

But, perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast".

Some scholars insist that Jesus actally drove a Honda, only he didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills".

As for Joshua, he drove a Triumph sports car with its muffler filter taken off: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land".

And, of course, following Jesus' lead, the twelve apostles car-pooled in a Honda...
"The apostles were in one Accord".
I'm not dead yet :D :p :cool:
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Nightmare
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Post by Nightmare »

:D :D :D :D
If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.
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Vehemence
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Post by Vehemence »

Originally posted by KidD01:
<STRONG>And, of course, following Jesus' lead, the twelve apostles car-pooled in a Honda...
"The apostles were in one Accord".</STRONG>
ROFLMAO! :D I like that one :p
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
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fable
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Post by fable »

You're neglecting the old, wonderfully cynical tune that was made immortal by a Janis Joplin rendition:

O Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?
My friends all have Porsches I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends;
O Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?

O Lord, won't you buy me a color TV?
Dialing for dollars is trying to find me
I'll wait for delivery each day until 3
O Lord, won't you buy me a color TV?

Oh Lord won't you buy me a night on the town
I'm counting on you Lord, please don't let me down.
Prove that you love me & buy the next round.
Oh Lord won't you buy me a night on the town?
To the Righteous belong the fruits of violent victory. The rest of us will have to settle for warm friends, warm lovers, and a wink from a quietly supportive universe.
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Aegis
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Post by Aegis »

That was very good good Kid. Although, I don't think Jesus need a car. Didn't have wheels of his own?

:D
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leedogg
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Post by leedogg »

Being the car nut I am, that was funny KidD!!! :D :D
This has been a SPAM AND RUN by Leedogg
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Aegis
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Post by Aegis »

What about Jesus's wheels?

:D
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KidD01
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Post by KidD01 »

Originally posted by Aegis:
<STRONG>What about Jesus's wheels?
:D </STRONG>
Well you can see The All Mighty is a very very rich person by having those cars :D

Anyway The Devil himself drove a Lamborghini....does Diablo rings anybell ? :)
I'm not dead yet :D :p :cool:
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Tom
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Post by Tom »

aahh the bad guys always have the best cars
I didn't really bounce Eeyore. I had a cough, and I happened to be behind Eeyore, and I said "Grrrr-oppp-ptschschschz."

Tigger
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