Five Toughest Questions

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 6:22 am

Five Toughest QuestionsThe five questions are:
1 - "What are you thinking?"
2 - "Do you love me?"
3 - "Do I look fat?"
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 - "What would you do if I died?"

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say
dishonestly.

Now lets see what's your answers !

scully1 · Post by **scully1** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 6:29 am

Originally posted by KidD01:
1 - "What are you thinking?"

Can be a sweet question, or a deep one depending on circumstances.

2 - "Do you love me?"[/QUOTE]

If ya hafta ask, it's time for a new guy.

3 - "Do I look fat?"[/QUOTE]

Dumb question. Dumb, dumb. Are there no mirrors in the house?...

4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"[/QUOTE]

Another dumb one. If he says yes he's toast. If he says no she'll say "You're just saying that because you think that's what I want ot hear!!"

Perhaps this feeds into a low self-esteem complex?...

5 - "What would you do if I died?"[/QUOTE]

WTH?? What does she expect him to say?...

*sigh* Honestly...if I ever asked a guy these questions, I'd hope he would smack me upside the head (in good way) for sheer stupidity. The games people play...I don't understand them.

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 6:36 am

The worst question is not on that list:

"Have you ever fooled around with____?" Insert name of ex-lover / current friend.

When answering, I suggest a strategic feint: "Yes, and she is also a little bit better than you at it"

While her head is spinning, grab the car keys and beat a retreat.

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 6:45 am

ROFL Wavy that's a good one

Anatres · Post by **Anatres** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 9:21 am

Originally posted by KidD01:
Five Toughest QuestionsThe five questions are:
1 - "What are you thinking?"
'Just how lucky I am that we're together!'
2 - "Do you love me?"
'More than I can express!'
3 - "Do I look fat?"
'Do I have stupid tatooed on my forehead?'
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
'Not hardly!'
5 - "What would you do if I died?"
'Cry for days!'

Of course, none of these work either..

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 9:40 am

AS to the first four questions,I only ask them in a joking manner

The fifth on the other hand, I did ask of the man I'm currently dating.

Viv: What would you do if I died?

Boyfriend: I'd carry you around with me, and at night I'd tuck you into bed and sleep with you.

Viv: That's slightly disturbing sweetie... I mean, wouldnt' I start to decay?

Boyfriend: No, it would work! Except if you got smelly, then I'd have to stick you in the freezer at night and only have you around during the day, you know to slow the decaying process. But, I'd still have my Viv.

*Viv looks worried and decides to ask no more.*

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 9:47 am

LOL Vivien, that's really sounds disturbing

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 9:50 am

Kid: I know

He's in general a kidder, but he did seem to have it all planned out. *shrug*

At least I don't have to ever ask that question anymore

I know not to ever ask the fat question because of his reply.

He'll either say I'm crazy, and point out how thin I am, OR he'll say I'll soon need my own zip code

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 10:33 am

1 - "What are you thinking?"
The proper answer to this question, of course, is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive,
dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful,caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you."
Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:
a - Baseball
b - Football
c - How fat you are.
d - How much prettier she is than you.
e - How he would spend the insurance money if you died.

I myself prefer to answer to this question with Al Bundy, of Married With Children line : "If I wanted you to know, I'd be talking instead of thinking."

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 10:40 am

1 - "What are you thinking?"

I'm thinking about spamming.

2 - "Do you love me?"

Are you still here? What does this tell you?

3 - "Do I look fat?"

Look?? You are.

4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"

Think??? I know she is.

5 - "What would you do if I died?"

Cash the insurance policy.

6 - "Have you ever fooled around with____?" Insert name of ex-lover / current friend.

Yes, she's my ex.

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 12:36 pm

2 - "Do you love me?" The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear. Wrong answers include:
a - I suppose so.
b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
c - That depends on what you mean by "love".
d - Does it matter?
e - Who, me?

I myself prefer What do you think?

Vehemence · Post by **Vehemence** » Wed Jun 13, 2001 8:06 pm

What are you thinking?

Answer: That I couldn't imagine anywhere else in the world that I'd rather be but here with you.

The Truth: Man, I'd really like to screw the *ss off that red-head at the corner deli.

Do you love me?

Answer: Even a thousand poets working for a thousand years couldn't put in words how much I love you.

The Truth: Does a chicken have lips?! Hell no! I'm just here for the sex!

Do I look fat?

Answer: Just means theres more of you for me to love.

The Truth: In comparison to what? The washing machine? A small planet? Godzilla?

Do you think she is prettier than me?

Answer: You've got more beauty in your gorgeous little pinky than she will ever have.

The Truth: MAN! Look at the t*ts on that one! Want to touch the heiny!!!! *drooool*

What would you do if I died?

Answer: Have you stuffed and mounted on the couch as a constant reminder that there was once a point to my life.

The Truth: Well when the hit squad I ordered comes here tomorrow for you, I guess we'll really find out now wont we

Georgi · Post by **Georgi** » Thu Jun 14, 2001 4:12 am

Originally posted by Vehemence:

Do I look fat?

Answer: Just means theres more of you for me to love.

That's the good answer??

Have you tried that one?!

Vehemence · Post by **Vehemence** » Thu Jun 14, 2001 4:51 am

Originally posted by Georgi:
That's the good answer?? Have you tried that one?!

Nope, I haven't tried it since I don't date Fat Chicks!

*awaits the ensuing flames*

Honestly, if she asks do I look fat, she deserves any answer she gets! She was lucky with my answer... better than her hearing the truth

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Thu Jun 14, 2001 8:09 am

Originally posted by Vehemence:
Nope, I haven't tried it since I don't date Fat Chicks! *awaits the ensuing flames*

Back when I drove the tow truck, I picked up Fat Chicks all the time.

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Thu Jun 14, 2001 8:13 am

I pick up a fat chick in our garden and then lob it over a fence nearly everyday, you'd be suprised how far a chicken can fly.....

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Thu Jun 14, 2001 8:19 am

C'mon. Fat chicks deserve to 'get some' just like anyone else. Coincidentally, so does Sleep. See how things work out that way?

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Thu Jun 14, 2001 8:22 am

Are you looking for a flaming?

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Thu Jun 14, 2001 8:28 am

Originally posted by Mr Sleep:
Are you looking for a flaming?

Roger that.

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Thu Jun 14, 2001 9:01 am

Originally posted by Mr Sleep:
Are you looking for a flaming?

Not today, maybe tomorrow.