Favorite Quotes

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 11:44 am

LOL Foul, where are those from? Sounds a bit like old Steve Martin to me

Chrissy · Post by **Chrissy** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 11:48 am

Actually the first quote I thought of when I saw this topic wasn't from a movie or said by anybody famous. It was this one:

Take one Angel, take one Troll, toss them in a blender and rearrange the materials, dispose of the leftovers (or use them instead).

Maurice said that some time ago about what people look like... It took me a while to find it back but I liked it a lot. (don't think I'm sucking up to the moderator or anything

I'm serious)

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 11:49 am

Speaking of Steve Martin...a monologue from a very old SNL..the Valentines day show.
" I need you to rub my shoulders when I am in pain and/or horny, I need you to walk in front of me when it is windy, and I need you to taste the milk when I cannot read the expiration date"

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 11:52 am

LOL. Anyone care to post George Carlin's list of words that you can't say on telvision?

or how about his cheer?

Ok lets see how this works:
Rat **** Bat ****
Dirty old *****
69 ******** tied in a knot
Hoooray! Lizard ****
****!

Sorry, that still cracks me up

[This message has been edited by Waverly (edited 02-14-2001).]

leedogg · Post by **leedogg** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 11:57 am

D@mmit I missed the top of the page, again!!

i've seen that quote in here before

------------------
Destroyer of transmissions!

i miss my truck!!!!

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:11 pm

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blinkin: This never would have happened if your father had been here.
Robin Hood: He's dead?
Blinkin: Yes.
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while -- while you were away.
Robin Hood: My dog Pongo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish. It's great to be home, isn't it, Master Robin?

Ubik · Post by **Ubik** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:16 pm

Err... Waverly, are you ok?

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:18 pm

Well okay - this is not actually a quote but, since spam is one of the favorite topics, well I couldn't resist it:

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned helmets on. A man and his wife enter.

Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.
Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat?bag): Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam;
egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked
beans spam spam pam...
Vikings (singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a
Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon
spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings (singing): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings (singing elaborately): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful
spam! Spam spaaaaaam spam spaaaaaam spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

Enjoy

Waverly · Post by **Waverly** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:20 pm

Xandax: Was looking for that, thanks!

Ubik: Of course not, why?

Xandax · Post by **Xandax** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:24 pm

Originally posted by Waverly:
Xandax: Was looking for that, thanks!

Ubik: Of course not, why?

Not a problem - I've got loads more

FoulDwimmerlaik · Post by **FoulDwimmerlaik** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:25 pm

It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up
about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marineland says, "You
can't throw chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish."
Sure they eat fish, if that's all you give them. Man, wise up.

Waverly, these are a few Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy. Remember those?

Ubik · Post by **Ubik** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:28 pm

Xandax, this should be our national anthem (of the Gamebanshee Spammers society, the one with Weasel as a chairman

)

Waverly: Thought so... ok, you are in your normal condition then

FoulDwimmerlaik · Post by **FoulDwimmerlaik** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:32 pm

-No Quote-
Let me tell you guys what happened to me a few years ago. It was summer, and I went through my fridge and brought out a piece of fruit. As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realied it wasn't a nectarine at all, but a HUMAN HEAD!

T'lainya · Post by **T'lainya** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:32 pm

@ Xandax...the one the only spam!
I still like the daed parrot sketch though

leedogg · Post by **leedogg** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:36 pm

"hi ho hi ho its off to work we go"
snow white and the seven perv...uh, dwarfs

unforetunitly it fits for me...see you guys and gals in 7 days...behave while im gone

------------------
Destroyer of transmissions!

i miss my truck!!!!

Chrissy · Post by **Chrissy** » Wed Feb 14, 2001 12:39 pm

Foul: A human head the size of a nectarine?

Melosh: I am already posting...