For the Girls: What kind of attention/reaction do YOU want?

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 6:41 am

Originally posted by Mr Sleep:
I guess we deserve that , how you doin Viv?

Not too bad! A lot of work to get done before flying to Florida today, so I'm a bit stressed. How are you?

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 6:44 am

Originally posted by Vivien:
Not too bad! A lot of work to get done before flying to Florida today, so I'm a bit stressed. How are you?

Surviving

You know me

Work is mostly scannin today so it is okay

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 6:48 am

Hello Vivien! *still savoring his dinner topping it with a cappuccino*

Just finished chow.

So, what do you think? Flame away!

*starts wearing uber ring of fire resistance*

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 6:51 am

Originally posted by Mr Sleep:
Surviving You know me

Work is mostly scannin today so it is okay

You actually work??! *surprised*

Actually, what you said did make sense! Women don't always dress for others.

Or if we DO dress for others, it's not always dressing for men

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 6:56 am

Originally posted by Vivien:
Or if we DO dress for others, it's not always dressing for men

Err... yes... I understand... I think... got lost in there somewhere...

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 6:58 am

Originally posted by Maharlika:
Hello Vivien! *still savoring his dinner topping it with a cappuccino*

Just finished chow.

So, what do you think? Flame away! *starts wearing uber ring of fire resistance*

You have me confused with someone else, I don't flame very much.

*looks around hopefully for Georgi*

I mainly tease and flirt and laugh at people

You are wrong, but that's okay, you'll get there

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:02 am

Originally posted by Vivien:
Or if we DO dress for others, it's not always dressing for men

Tease

@Marhilika LOL

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:03 am

Originally posted by Vivien:
You have me confused with someone else, I don't flame very much. *looks around hopefully for Georgi*

I mainly tease and flirt and laugh at people

You are wrong, but that's okay, you'll get there

Wrong? Which one?

About the ring, well, I was asking for enlightenment, but Mr. Sleep here starts warning about flames...

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:06 am

Originally posted by Maharlika:
Err... yes... I understand... I think... got lost in there somewhere...

You assumed in your first few posts that if we were dressing for others, we were dressing for you men.

If I wear something sexy I'm never thinking 'Gee I want some man drooling over me.'

I may be thinking:
"I want OTHERS (men and women) to think I'm cute, this looks good!"

or
"I feel depressed today, time to get out the cute black top and short skirt as a moral boost! *puts on said outfit, feels better*

or
"My friend 'Kara' is always so fashionable and wears such revealing clothing. Must top this."

or (yes this does happen)
"I want attention from men at the party tonight. Must not go too far, don't want to be seen as a slut. But, want to be seen as attractive and sexy" If you leer, then a girl might think she's gone too far towards 'slut'...

Does that make sense?

josh · Post by **josh** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:11 am

Vivien: Makes sense to me.

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:13 am

Originally posted by Vivien:
Does that make sense?

Entirely.

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:16 am

Originally posted by Mr Sleep:
Tease

@Marhilika LOL

Not that kind of tease and you know it! *Gets ready to flame Mr. Sleep, remember she promised that she doesn't do that. Sighs pitifully.*

Besides 'tease' is just another name men use to be mean to women when we dont' do what they want along with 'B!tch', 'lesbo' etc... But if we DO do what you want it's 'slut', 'tramp', 'whore'. *sighs at the unfairness*

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:16 am

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus...

What utter nonsense. I'm from Da@%!ltz(*)?v, a little place in Saggitarius. You hang a right at Alpha Centauri, continue straight for oh, about 10 lightyears, then you...wait a minute. Damn, I'm really not good with maps. I'll have to get my wife to explain it, later.

In any case, if you want to know what "women" think about something, stop trying to analyze "women," and concentrate on the woman in front of you as an individual. Too many guys (and gals, too) focus on the opposite sex as if it were a mysterious monolithic entity, when in fact everyone is just an individual with their own insecurities, points of pride, hidden embarassments, accomplishments, sense of humor, etc.

And forget about Mars and Venus. I've visited both places, and they're as dull as Bavaria on Wednesday night.

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:24 am

Originally posted by Vivien:
You assumed in your first few posts that if we were dressing for others, we were dressing for you men.

Does that make sense?

Crystal. --- Tom Cruise, from the movie... I forgot!

On the contrary, I did not assume that women just dress for men. As I implied in one of the previous posts, self-confidence and self-satisfaction are some of the reasons ALSO.

That brings me to the main question: How would you want us to react?

I know that women would have their reasons for making themselves look good, but you cannot deny the fact that there will be men out there who DO appreciate you. The manner in which you would have no total control of, probably not even care any less, or perhaps react disapprovingly...

Is there a "polite" way for us to show our appreciation (even in instances when some of these men would mean nothing to you)?

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:26 am

Originally posted by Vivien:
Not that kind of tease and you know it! *Gets ready to flame Mr. Sleep, remember she promised that she doesn't do that. Sighs pitifully.*

Besides 'tease' is just another name men use to be mean to women when we dont' do what they want along with 'B!tch', 'lesbo' etc... But if we DO do what you want it's 'slut', 'tramp', 'whore'. *sighs at the unfairness*

Yes indeed i do. You know i wouldn't mean it like that Viv

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:30 am

Originally posted by Mr Sleep:
Yes indeed i do. You know i wouldn't mean it like that Viv

I know

I was teasing you

*hug*

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:37 am

Originally posted by Maharlika:
In relation to CE's question on types of attention, I was wondering how the girls would like us guys to react when they dress "provocatively."

If I dress "provocatively", I expect men to react, other wise I wouldn't have choosen to dress that way. If I want people (men and women both) to think I look good in general, I don't chose clothes that are sexually revealing, because heterosexual women would hardly be interested in the shape of my @ss. I choose other types of clothes in that situation.

Sometimes I enjoy dressing up like a bimbo, but that's mosty for my husband and my male friends, and also because I enjoy to shatter stereotypes. If you look like a bimbo, men and women equally often take for granted that you are a stupid little slut. That's why I enjoy to watch the jaw drop when someone approach me in a bar, start a little conversation, ask the standard question: "So, what's a little pretty thing like you doing for a living?" and I reply "I'm doing a PhD in neuroscience, human brain research".

Vivien · Post by **Vivien** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:37 am

Originally posted by Maharlika:
Crystal. --- Tom Cruise, from the movie... I forgot!

On the contrary, I did not assume that women just dress for men. As I implied in one of the previous posts, self-confidence and self-satisfaction are some of the reasons ALSO.

That brings me to the main question: How would you want us to react?

I know that women would have their reasons for making themselves look good, but you cannot deny the fact that there will be men out there who DO appreciate you. The manner in which you would have no total control of, probably not even care any less, or perhaps react disapprovingly...

Is there a "polite" way for us to show our appreciation (even in instances when some of these men would mean nothing to you)?

I think you will get different answers from different women for this one.

I take leering a lot better if the man is A) Single B) NOT THIRTY YEARS OLDER THAN ME or C) Someone I'm dating, as then you *know* him a bit, and it's okay if he shows appreciation.

scully1 · Post by **scully1** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:38 am

Originally posted by Mr Sleep:
"...It also helps to show a little leg..."

That is a great way to catch a taxi

I don't dress provocatively. My usual attire is jeans and t-shirt or sweatshirt. When I want to dress up I just wear a long skirt and a nice top. I like loose-fitting things, they're comfy

Also, I don't want to be judged on my appearance at all. So I don't glam up. No high heels or makeup, either. So, to answer the question, I guess I don't want to attract attention at all

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri Oct 05, 2001 7:40 am

Originally posted by Vivien:
I know I was teasing you *hug*