This can't be happening! *lengthy rant & soul-searching*

[C Elegans]

[QUOTE=JonIrenicus]I wouldn't say that. Dreams are good, but don't let dreams take your hopes up to the clouds just to fall back down to the ground.[/QUOTE]

Oh, I meant in this specific case - don't only dream, act in order to fulfil your dreams. Plus, dreaming of an escape like being rescued by a pretty knightress(?) in a shining armour is not realistic...and it's never good to hang your hope and happiness on other people anyway.

[quote="Damuna]
They're still not the same culture though...

was that a typo? If so I can understand that...[/quote"]

The US includes many different cultures, even tiny little Sweden does. Both are included in "Western Culture" though, so seen from a global perspective it is valid to view them as the same culture in this context.

I don't know what may have been a typo or not, I make typos all the time.

[Galuf the Dwarf]

Hmmm... where to go to socialize in Connecticut?

Alright, if it's really suggested that I need to get out more often, I'll try to get out more often. The best place I can think of is the opposite campus of the college I go to.

The malls around here aren't really inhabited by single women my age.

Bars andclubs are my antithesis. I don't drink, mostly because of a bad family family history coupled with my own emotional & neurlogical issues. I also don't feel attracted to types of women that tend to frequent such areas. No serious woman goes to one of those - at least normally.

My neck of the woods is pretty rural. The closest cities (at least a 45-minute drive) don't have as much as I'd think for real social places, save for some bars & clubs. Quite a few of those. There is one city that's a 15-minute drive, though all it's got is shops, restaurants (fast food & more fancy stuff), and about 3 or more bars and clubs, and schools/colleges (including the one I attend). That, and it's ULTRA-famous for it's drug-dealing, prostitution, and crime. I dunno whether trying to socialize in a city like that might find me in some girl's arms or in a casket. :speech:

Any other suggestions of places I could go? I could try to see where those may be - if at all - here in the Nutmeg State. I'd just hate the idea of driving all over creation to find myself fruitless.

[Damuna_Nova]

[QUOTE=Galuf the Dwarf]The malls around here aren't really inhabited by single women my age.[/QUOTE]

Considered going for older/younger partners then? (younger may not be a great choice, I'm not sure)

I've always tended to lean towards older ones, as I seek out people who are more experienced and mature than those my age.

Hey, you know what? I bet if I had put a brackets bit on the end of my comment before and added something like my second bit here, you wouldn't have thought that I was making a cruel joke.

Live and learn I guess.

[Galuf the Dwarf]

Concerning me, women, and my family.

Yes, I do tend to talk quite a bit with women, including complements about how I like them. What I'm concerned about is becoming far too attached to women to the point of obsessive compulsion. I had one such issue where I supposedly went off the deep end with that with at least one young lady in high school. Stuff like that, teasing, and other misadventures in high school tend to haunt me to this day.

I'm always afraid of going back into such habits and getting in EVEN MORE trouble. I'm very cautious with what I say so that some woman doesn't think I'm suddenly going to be following them home and the like. I want to please them, not scare them.

The women I tend to talk about intimate thoughts with the most have these common traits:
- Mental issues, usually trauma or whatnota bit similar to my own. Medically recognized learning disabilities like mine do not seem to be present.

- Family committed: Most are mothers, particularly single mothers (or were at some point. 90% of them have boyfriends or similar relationships. I'm concerned about getting between them and their lives, especially if they have a significant other. That, and I wish to be able to catch them more frequently at easy times for the both of us.

- Are usually around people, often other women. Usually, I prefer to talk to them one-on-one. I don't like the risk of people overhearing what we're saying. Other people may not seem to care, but I like privacy with such thoughts. I'm also concerned aboout creating a hostile environment (ie: sexual harrassment) for people around me.

The enthusiasm to talk about the things I wish to say and here is mostly there. Now, if only there were ways around those traits, mostly the last one.

As far as desirable traits in women, this is what I've scrounged up:
1) For a future wife/significant other:
- Humor that really doesn't risk setting me off. Brynn seemed to be pretty good at this. I miss her badly.
- Able to share housework and not leave me doing everything or nothing. Gotta be able to divide up chores and other responsibilities. Also gotta be able to clean up after herself (whatever mess it may be, unless it's something beyond her control). I'll worry about what I should, my own messes included.
- Doesn't have to have every material item in the world. Hard to be the case, but I'm fed up with 1 notable thing in my parents (see below).
- Able to put up with how naughty of a man I can be. How much more I can be than the common man, I have no clue.
- Has few health issues, particularly physical handicaps or a weak stomache/bladder. Gotta have guts... and a few other things.
- Not too many emotional issues. Defintely don't need clinical depression or the like. I got enough on me as is.
- Emotional attachment. I want to be there for her when things aren't right, and her for me. No 2 ways about it.
- Patient. I don't want to be under too much pressure to do as I should. Just as much as is reasonable.

2) For a girlfriend/not-so-serious significant other:
- Dirty mind. What's a good guy without at least one bad girl in his life? How she'd be dirty is something I'm not inclined to specify, especially in public.
- Gotta be able talk about what I like for quite a while. I'd like to be able to do the same with her and for her.
- ULTRA GOOD LOOKS. Gotta be able to surprise me in more than one way.
- Not afraid of having a few extra pounds on her. I can't take women who fret too much about their weight, especially if their weight isn't at a range to significantly harm their health. Worrying about it might do that. :laugh:
- Knows more other women than men.
- Not too many emotional issues. May not be as necessary as with a wife.


Also, concerning my dad:
- Likes big machinery, mostly tractors & bulldozers and cars. We have PLENTY of those already. The bulldozer we got years ago just sat around, rusted, and is infested with plants and insects alike.
- Also likes collecting various odds and ends, and almost never uses them. Spending money on this guy is harder than spending it on a woman, especially when it comes to how much they'll use it. Cripes, he never seems truly satisfied with things.
- Considerate emotional issues. Very mercurial/moody attitude. Tends to get upset rather easily, especially if he hasn't had at least one beer. Used to be on Paxil & later Zoloft for a while, which helped. Then he stopped and never went back. Big mistake on his part.
- Never seems satisfied unless things go his way, either by him making money in the stock market, getting something he wants, or whatever he desires. If all else fails, he has at least one beer a day.
- Quite hostile towards people other than his two children (me & my brother). When he's in a bad mood, other people will experience it. Very prone to saying nasty (usually disheartening) things to people who set him off, like my grandma.
- Abused. Supposedly was physically & emotionally abused by his own father when he was growing up. Hasn't reflected this on his own kids, though. Never hit other people that I know of, though.

Concering my mom:
- Overweight. This does take a toll on her limbs, body, and bladder. Still, you'd think she'd actually do something to help herself lose weight and feel more ambitious. Nope.
- Like my dad, likes to collect odds and ends that (a bit less than dad) tends to collect dust.
- Simplified thinking. If asked for advice, tends to give overly simplified answers. Also unable to think outside her own generation when it comes to social issues. She once also suggested I fall in love with a 13-year-old when I was 18! :speech:

Concerning my brother:
- Lack of ambition. This guy doesn't see like he wants to do much of anything outside of his own benefit much of the time. He doesn't cook for himself as much as everybody else, except for reheating leftovers in the microwave if possible. Also doesn't normally contribute to family chores if he's home.
- Out and about. Is often out of home. If he's not at college, he's tended to be at a friend or girlfriend's house.
- Sibling rivalry. He and I aren't always feeling the happiest towards each other, more of him to me.
- Sassy. Tends to joke a lot, sometimes with enough skill that I take it for truth. Usually, his jokes tend to play on people, making them look silly. I swear if I tried doing this, I'd have less friends than I do now or than he does.
- Technical knack. Quite proficient with computers. Is capable to a slightly lesser extent with other electrical items, notably standard circuitry.
- Visibly brawny. Is a hint more physically imposing than I am, and is capable of lifting heavier loads than me. His actual level of endurance is questionable, especially when dealing with repetitious physical labor.

Concerning my grandma:
- Highly sensitive emotions: Tends to get upset terribly easy. Prone to crying, shouting, and fighting (mostly w/ my mother, who's her own oldest daughter). Usually threatens to do stuff like never giving permission to do stuff like offer certain items or talk, without backing such claims.
- Obsessive compulsive tendencies. Tends to be considerately repetitive with things she says. If you hear something from her once, expect to hear it in about 5 minutes, and have it occur at least one other day a week for the rest of her life. VERY annoying.
- Socially & mentally incorrigble. If she's ever questioned for problems by a professional, she seems to act like a rather normal human being. It's as if she wears masks in public, especially in psychological analysis situation. If you ever suggest any dramatic change to her ways, she huffs it off.


Hopefully, that clears matters up a bit more.

[slade]

I think perhaps you shouldnt be hanging out with your family too often....I know this sounds bad...but what I mean is dont expect too much from them, from what you have written about them, it only seems like there going to bring you down. Also, dont always look toward the negative side of people, also take in their good qualities...if you keep on pointing out their flaws your going to end up hating them and yourself in the long run.

Women. There is no right or wrong answer with them, theres no "one" right girl....each have their flaws and will let you down most of the time. The list of things that you would like to find in a wife/girlfriend your not going to find someone with all of these characteristics, your just hoping for too much and will get depressed faster. Also you need to relax more...take things slower....I know that if things start going great you're probably might get excited to quickly and scare her off...try not to be too obsessive with anything.

As far as going somewhere to hang........does your college have clubs?......check some out...and see maybe if you find one that interest you......theres bound to be nice girls there and will most likely be interested in your interests...just take it slow...things just dont happen over night

[Galuf the Dwarf]

[QUOTE=slade]I think perhaps you shouldnt be hanging out with your family too often....I know this sounds bad...but what I mean is dont expect too much from them, from what you have written about them, it only seems like there going to bring you down. Also, dont always look toward the negative side of people, also take in their good qualities...if you keep on pointing out their flaws your going to end up hating them and yourself in the long run.

Women. There is no right or wrong answer with them, theres no "one" right girl....each have their flaws and will let you down most of the time. The list of things that you would like to find in a wife/girlfriend your not going to find someone with all of these characteristics, your just hoping for too much and will get depressed faster. Also you need to relax more...take things slower....I know that if things start going great you're probably might get excited to quickly and scare her off...try not to be too obsessive with anything.

As far as going somewhere to hang........does your college have clubs?......check some out...and see maybe if you find one that interest you......theres bound to be nice girls there and will most likely be interested in your interests...just take it slow...things just dont happen over night [/QUOTE]

Sounds somewhat reasonable, especially the top paragraph. I do tend to try to get away from them. If there was less to be done around here (mostly toting heavy items here and there around home), I'd be a hint more inclined to be out of the house more often.


Well, as far a qualities of my folks, I have these.
Dad:
- Wishes to attend any concert I go to as a "meat shield" of sorts, like the saying goes. Have never gotten hurt in one because of that. Too bad he doesn't enjoy the music. Then again, he's a little hard of hearing, so it doesn't matter that much to him.
- Is in charge of my finances. So far, I haven't had too many problems with that under his wing.
- Willing to instruct me in the use of any mechanical equipment he has. So far, I've learned how to use a push-mower & weed-whacker, so that's one way I've been able to contribute some times.
- Encourages me to spend money on myself when I should.

Mom:
- Encourages me to go places I haven't been before. Only wish she really knew where I could go with my interests.
- Encourages me to get to know women, and eventually... well, you know.

My younger brother:
- Occasionally helps me out in World of Warcraft. Most times, it's with items he finds that'd suit one of my characters. Sometimes, though, he might come along and actually help get something done.
- Has also provided lots of good advice for WoW, which has gotten me quite ahead of the game in a few ways.
- Usually goes shopping for music CDs with me.
- He's the one I usually go see movies with nowadays. Sometimes I do with my mom as well, but not as much as my brother.
- Sometimes lets me hang out with his friends, who tend to be mostly women these days.

My mom's friend, who's currently residing w/ us (almost no gripes with this guy, you'll notice):
- Likes to talk alot about comics, cartoon, and the like. No harm in that.
- Once a month since he's been here, he and I go to comic shops. Usually, I pick up a Transformers comic and/or a Dungeons & Dragons gaming manual. Good stuff.
- Has sympathy for how I tend to feel about work some days. He's been in my shoes before.

My grandma:
- Lets me use a lot of the things in her room (scissors, nail clippers, even her room itself if need be), within reason.
- Tends to give me stuff like gum & candy.
- Likes to tell me about birds and cats she's seen. Sometimes, it can be a hint interesting.


Edit: Also, just so you all realize, I supposedly haven't had problems with becoming uncomfortably attached to a woman since high school. I just try to be careful so that doesn't happen again. I'm starting to think that might never happen again, honestly.

[Greg.]

Please don't take this the wrong way, but you seem like a bit of a perfectionist... I used to have the same problem. You end up focusing so much on the small negatives that you can't see the positives. My attitiude is that at my age, I've got plenty of time to find someone who works with me.

What do you like to do? What do you do in terms of college/university? That might be of some help.

[VonDondu]

Galuf, I've said this to you before, and I'll say it again. You think too much, and you take things way too seriously. I had a similar problem when I was your age, but I decided to let go of all of the baggage, and now I'm a much happier person. You can do the same.

Let me start with a simple suggestion. You're upset because your dad won't get off his butt and finish your room. Well, look at it this way. Your dad has motivational problems, and there's nothing you can do about it. You can't make him change, so just accept it and look for other solutions to your problem. One solution should be staring you right in the face: it's not really "your" room to begin with; it's a room in your parents' house. So maybe you should think about getting a place of your own. Fixing it up will be your own responsibility, and there won't be anyone else to blame if you don't like it. That should relieve some of your burden of worrying about other people's shortcomings and let you focus on what YOU can do to make your life happier.

If you can't move out, then why don't you try to do some of the work to your room yourself? I've renovated several rooms and houses and I know what I'm doing, so I guess it's easy for me to say you should try it. But really, a challenge like that might be good for you. It would be a challenge that doesn't have anything to do with your own emotions or other people's emotions, and it would be a nice change of pace for you. If you don't want to fix up the room you live in at your parents' house because "it's not your responsibility" or it's a burden you don't want, then that just proves you ought to think about moving out and getting a place for which you DO feel like taking responsibility.

On a related note, just as fixing up your parents' house is not and should not be your responsibility, fixing other people's lives is not your responsibility, either. Once you get a place of your own, you'll see there's an enlightening analogy. Suppose you move into an apartment and you don't like it. Fixing it up is not your responsibility, and you shouldn't stay there if you don't like it. So what do you do? Simple: you move out and get another apartment. You don't worry about the last apartment and dwell on all of the things the owner should have done to make it better. The same thing applies to people. If they have problems you can't abide by, then move away from them and stop worrying about their problems. There's nothing you can do about it, and you owe it to yourself to make yourself happy somewhere else.

I don't understand what you mean by all this talk about "slaves". Don't you think that's an exaggeration? By using a word that has horrible images and implications, you might be compounding your negative reaction by associating it with something that is completely unrelated. Real slaves have no way out because they are physically chained and beaten. There's just no comparison to your own situation. Some people are "locked inside their own mental prisons", but even that does not apply to you. You have freedom, you have your sanity, and you have lots of choices, whether you're aware of them or not. Some of your choices won't be easy because they will require hard work on your part, as well as courage because you will be leaping into the unknown. Saying "All I can do is dream" is suitable for a genuine slave, but it's just a cop out for someone who has the ability to make his life better if he's willing to do the necessary work.

I think your idealism is one of the main causes of your unhappiness. I don't deny that other people's actions and other people's failings can make you miserable. But they WAY you're trying to structure your relationships with other people can only lead to heartbreak. You think you're "heroic" because you are considerate and you try to please other people, but you are disappointed and frustrated to the point of despair because they're not grateful and they don't try to lift you up in return. Can't you see there's a fundamental flaw in those relationships? More to the point, there's something wrong with your ideals.

People are selfish and shallow by nature. Get used to it. They're also not as capable as you expect them to be. For example, you think your dad is able to finish your room, but maybe he isn't capable because he can't handle the responsibility or he doesn't know what to do or (more likely) he just doesn't have the energy it takes. But he's your dad and it's his job to take care of his family, so that means he's supposed to do it, right? Well, be ready for some disappointment. He probably doesn't share your ideals. Neither do the women you've been talking to. As long as it's fun or satisfying in some other way, they will talk to you. But if you expect them to form a deep relationship with you in which you will do your best to please them and you expect them to reciprocate and be your emotional anchor and the answer to all of your emotional needs (plus they will meet all the requirements on your list of desired traits), then don't be surprised if that's more than she bargained for. There are a lot of other guys she can form a more shallow, and more satisfying, relationship with, so she will blow you off. If you choose to continue your current pursuits, get used to it, because that's the only reaction you will ever get.

I think I have a deep bond with my cats, and they make me very happy. But I am quite aware that that they are dumb little animals. When they want my attention and nuzzle me and lick me and act like cute little clowns, I call it "schmoozing". When my boyfriend says, "Look how much they love you," I say, "No, they're showing me how much I love THEM." When I pretend they're talking, I say, "You love me. So feed me!" So I feed them, and all of use are very happy. My "little girl" likes to feel loved, so even when there's food in her food bowl, she still comes and gets me so that I'll follow her to her food bowl and pet her while she eats. "You want me to pet you while you eat?" It's the cutest thing I've ever seen. I know that if I ever stopped feeding her, she would run away. Heck, I'd do the same thing in her position. It's all about simple needs and simple pleasures.

Human love is a bit more complicated, of course. I don't have time to write the treatise that's sitting in my brain, but I think that romantic love is tied closely to the ego. When you see two people who are devoted to each other and you can't understand what they see in each other, then they probably like the way the other makes them feel about themselves. As Garrison Keillor once said, "No one else understands, and no one else needs to understand." That sort of gratification is like an addiction, and withdrawal symptoms can last a lifetime. You really shouldn't get yourself into a situation like that unless you're certain that the other person reciprocates your feelings. And DON'T make the mistake of thinking that you can make someone else love you by pleasing them or being a noble person or anything else you can think of. It just doesn't work. Trust me on this.

I think you need to change your goals. I'll make some concrete suggestions if you agree with anything I've said to this point. But if you don't agree with anything I've said, then I don't think I have any other suggestions for you. In the past, I suggested that you should go out and meet people spontaneously (like going to a bowling alley and finding people to play with when you get there) and NOT talk about your goals and your emotions, just so you could have some fun and feel connected to people without making any deep commitments. I also suggested that you should visit old people because they would surely appreciate your company, and they could offer you a lot of friendly, helpful advice if you needed it (and if you were willing to take it). But if you're locked inside your walls and your family members stay in the roles where you've pigeonholed them, then I don't know if anything is ever going to change.

[Lestat]

OK. What I'm gonna say is gonna sound harsh. But I have the idea that you're above average on criticism of those surrounding you and at the same time highly sensitive to any criticism towards yourself (this not only from posts in this here thread, but also from previous posts in GB). IMO that is a recipe for disaster. I think part of your problem is a certain level of egocentrism (not to be confused with egotism). I could go into more detail on the basis alone of what you posted here, but to take the simplest way: check what you write about possible "mates": a lot of things you require from them and very little about what you might mean to them or what would make some kind of togetherness, it's all a bit one way, as far as I see. A bit more empathy might be in order.

[snoopyofour]

[QUOTE= Galuf]
Dirty mind. What's a good guy without at least one bad girl in his life? How she'd be dirty is something I'm not inclined to specify, especially in public.
- Gotta be able talk about what I like for quite a while. I'd like to be able to do the same with her and for her.
- ULTRA GOOD LOOKS. Gotta be able to surprise me in more than one way.
- Not afraid of having a few extra pounds on her. I can't take women who fret too much about their weight, especially if their weight isn't at a range to significantly harm their health. Worrying about it might do that.
- Knows more other women than men.
- Not too many emotional issues. May not be as necessary as with a wife. [/QUOTE]


...unless you are either Brad Pitt's twin or a millionair I would suggest you drop this line of thinking. Actually, everyone should drop this line of thinking. Reading this, the fact that you made a list at all is unsettling, all I could think was "Stepford Wives". Basically it sounds like you want a pornstar. I have a friend who thought the same way and I love the guy but he's never ever going to get a woman until he makes some serious changes to himself. You have to be the right kind of man to get the right kind of woman. Its a cliche but everyone knows why cliches become cliches. Its because they're usually true. You want a woman who isn't so shallow that she would prefer, more handsome, richer, more ______ whatever, men than you, but you aren't prepared to adjust your shallow and self-centered requirements at all. Another movie that comes to mind is "Shallow Hal". Most women who fit your profile (because your profile mentions nothing of their ideals or character) would probably leave you for the next guy to come along. Of all the things you need to change, this is the most crucial. Oh, and one more thing. If you aren't interested in changing then you definetly should head to the bars and clubs more often, those are the hotspots for the kinds of women you appear to be interested in.

[Galuf the Dwarf]

Some further notes, as the fog clears.

[QUOTE=snoopyofour]...unless you are either Brad Pitt's twin or a millionair I would suggest you drop this line of thinking. Actually, everyone should drop this line of thinking. Reading this, the fact that you made a list at all is unsettling, all I could think was "Stepford Wives". Basically it sounds like you want a pornstar. I have a friend who thought the same way and I love the guy but he's never ever going to get a woman until he makes some serious changes to himself. You have to be the right kind of man to get the right kind of woman. Its a cliche but everyone knows why cliches become cliches. Its because they're usually true. You want a woman who isn't so shallow that she would prefer, more handsome, richer, more ______ whatever, men than you, but you aren't prepared to adjust your shallow and self-centered requirements at all. Another movie that comes to mind is "Shallow Hal". Most women who fit your profile (because your profile mentions nothing of their ideals or character) would probably leave you for the next guy to come along. Of all the things you need to change, this is the most crucial. Oh, and one more thing. If you aren't interested in changing then you definetly should head to the bars and clubs more often, those are the hotspots for the kinds of women you appear to be interested in.[/QUOTE]

Well, I get your point and all, but allow me to emphasize: That's not what I desire in the most serious of relationships. Those ideals noted above - as I notified in the post I made they originally were in - were for a less serious girlfriend or such. You know, something that may take up part of my younger life ahead. I hope to be with a certain woman for some time, but I can bet I'll be surprised with the way some things go.

And let it also be known:
1) I do have some feelings, thoughts, etc. that are hard to explain. I do not desire to think only of myself when it comes to women. I also wish to bring something to them that makes them happy. Women seem to enjoy some aspects of my careful, caring attitude, and me talking with them practically always seem to enjoy talking to me.

2) I give my apologies if the interpretations of what I say can be vague, folks. Some things don't spring to mind until later. I don't feel like writing every detail down at every moment, partly to clear my mind of some details or stresses, and sometimes to prevent some detailings from overlapping others in their visibility. That, and to keep people from being bored by overly-lengthy posting.

3) And also, sometimes my perspectives my interpretations of the situations around me tend to be a little clouded. I tend to take some situations differently than they may actually be. That's part of the way my mind works. For instance, I did recently talk to my dad about my room. As I did acknowledge many times before the start of this thread and afterward, my dad's main reasoning behind his procrastination on my room are these:
- The amount of hours (overtime included) he's been putting at work. We're talking about a guy who's in his late 50es, so you can understand if he's rather tired after work, especially working for an airplane manufacturer.
- Needs to finish the bathroom tiling and the electrical wiring for the new upstairs floor. This is also affected by the above point.

4) As noted above, upon further inspection of situations, people greet me alot, ask how I feel, and try to make me comfortable around them. Sometimes, there are things they do that just don't click. However, their intentions seem to give me ideas like they do intend to be friends.

I'm beginning to think there's more to this situation than the perspectives I've posted.

My advice:
- Don't take everything I say as the gospel truth. Sometimes I interpret situations a bit differently than they are. That's not to say I intentially lie; I just have my own perceptions that may have some flaws.
- If you want to get to know me very well, you're best off getting to know me in real life and looking around at my community. Describing myself and my situations is the tough, since I only can take stock of so much at once.

[VonDondu]

Galuf, please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think anyone wants to hear a lengthy, detailed analysis of your thoughts and feelings, simply because people don't want to hear something like that from ANYONE, not just from you. Please don't take that personally--it applies to everybody. For the sake of comparison, if I spent a bunch of time and effort analyzing myself and then tried to share the results with everyone else, I am 100% certain that people would run away from me as fast as they could.

On the other hand, if you want to tell us an interesting story or a juicy bit of gossip or a funny joke, or if you asked us for some specific advice about a specific girl or something like that, that would be completely different. Many of us would be interested in something like that.

Even if you choose to keep your analysis of your own thoughts to yourself, I think it's a mistake to analyze yourself so much in the first place. It's way too much work, it takes too much time, and no one is really any good at it no matter how hard they try, so the results are pointless. If you're on the wrong track, you'll never be able to get on the right track on your own. Diaries have a way of becoming an "echo chamber" in which all you do is reinforce your own beliefs even if they're completely wrong. If you do too much of that, you'll be completely screwed up. You say you could make your point clearer if you thought about it a little harder, but it probably wouldn't do you any good. I mean, even if one of the points you made was a little bit clearer, would it actually make any difference? I doubt it. You'd be a lot better off if you spent your time taking care of business and getting some rest and having some fun instead of dwelling on your own thoughts. Take my advice, you're wasting your time. If you spent less time thinking about yourself, you might even feel less stressed out, and your problems wouldn't seem so big anymore. If you stop thinking about it, maybe it will go away. But as long as you obsess over it, it will NEVER go away, and it will continue to give you grief and stress.

Frankly, your attitude seems a bit narcissistic and/or egocentric, and that's a really big turn-off to everyone I know. I know that sounds cruel, but someone had to say it, since it seems to be interfering with your life. The reason I say that is because, generally speaking, there are a lot of better things you could be doing instead of analyzing yourself. For example, when classes are in session, you really ought to concentrate on your schoolwork instead of making long, detailed lists of the traits you desire in someone you haven't met for a relationship that hasn't even begun. You should also listen to other people instead of going off on a tangent or trying to prove why they're wrong before you have digested what they have said. For example, instead of responding to the messages people have written to you in this message thread, you have mostly added new material of your own, which makes me wonder if you have even listened to what we have said. What do you think about the idea of finding a new place to live since your dad is too tired to finish your room? Have you thought about doing some of the work yourself? Do you have a summer job that will allow you to save some money? Have you thought about your future career plans as much as you have thought about your current social life? Or forget about the future for a moment and tell us what you did for fun today. Did you play? Did you work? Did you make any money? Did you do any favors for anyone else? Did you do some grunt work that needed to be done, like cleaning your room or mowing the lawn or something like that? Are you living your life, or are you spending all of your free time thinking about your problems?

You seem to be very wrapped up in yourself, but based on what you've written, your priorities don't make sense.

[Galuf the Dwarf]

[QUOTE=VonDondu]What do you think about the idea of finding a new place to live since your dad is too tired to finish your room? Have you thought about doing some of the work yourself? Do you have a summer job that will allow you to save some money? Have you thought about your future career plans as much as you have thought about your current social life? Or forget about the future for a moment and tell us what you did for fun today. Did you play? Did you work? Did you make any money? Did you do any favors for anyone else? Did you do some grunt work that needed to be done, like cleaning your room or mowing the lawn or something like that? Are you living your life, or are you spending all of your free time thinking about your problems?[/QUOTE]

Yes, I have thought about suggestions, and these are what I have to say.
About finding a new place: Not interested at the moment. I'm thinking if I help my dad in working on the room (which he intends on working on the floor this Friday), so I'm thinking I can go from there.

About a job & money: Have had a part-time job (on Saturdays & Sundays) for 3 years now, mostly part-time to accomodate for my college schedule. Still going pretty strong. Also made enough money for college funds, insurance and the like, but not enough to keep up with bills of my own at the moment.

Future career plans: Social worker. Why not try to help solve people's social problems that way? I've had experience with social workers in my past, and they helped me get somewhere, so I've got my inspiration right there. Have considered being things such as a metalworker (or a plastics worker), but I decided against those after a while.

Today's activities (in sequence from around 4 PM to 6 PM Eastern time):
Drove to a local park. Took a walk around, saw what there was for people and scenery, then decided to go somewhere else. I'd been all around there before, and the place seemed pretty empty and quiet (even fewer animals than usual around), so I decided to go somewhere else after a little while.

Went the mall, not very interested in purchasing any items, except for browsing & sampling some CDs (notably an album of extended editions of Motorhead songs). Unfortunately, the sampling devices seemed to be malfunctioning. Seeing no other music, games or videos/DVDs of interest, I left on an indifferent note empty-handed. I have enough games & books on me that I hope to read, so I didn't see the point in any more.

After that, I stopped at a gas station to fill up my car & got some nifty ice cream novelty shaped into a taco. Had to keep both myself & the engine going in this blasted heat.

After that, drove off to the city, decided to take a look around. The most notable area in my wandering was this war memoriable that was made last year. In it, I noticed some a repeat of last names and wondered to myself "Is this some sort of family tradition, some family having someone that died in WWI, WWII and Vietnam?" That, and I noticed a person with the same last name as my father's stepfather, so I wondered if they were related.

After that, I went home, watched some "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" around 7 PM with my mom and her buddy, and then cooked myself a hamburger patty (topped with Colby Jack cheese & placed on a sliced tomato basil hamburger bun) to go with the french fries we had cooked.

My days tend to vary in activity.