Physical Beauty.

Obsidian · Post by **Obsidian** » Tue Jul 09, 2002 8:43 pm

Does it make a difference? Do pretty/handsome/etc ppl have it easier in life? I've been listening to the song Beautiful by Joydrop.

"If I was beautiful like you, oh the things I would do. Those not so blessed would be crying out murder, and I'd just laugh and get away with it to"

Think this is true?

Alienbob · Post by **Alienbob** » Tue Jul 09, 2002 11:44 pm

I would like to think that the world wasnt so shallow and that people are judged by more than just how they look but, our society seems to place an awful lot of importance on looks. just look at popstars and rappers for example. the majority of them cant sing, but people still listen to them, watch their vidoes, and go to their concerts. why? because they are hot or trendy or something like that. either that or people just dont know what good music is. probably a mixture of both.

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 12:25 am

Sad but true...

...people TEND to look at physical beauty first then if they have the maturity to appreciate non-physical beauty, it will almost always follow later.

I would like to think that such a habit is natural in all of us (we have things like first impressions), however it is more admirable if we consciously try to remind ourselves that there is more to it than just superficial beauty.

There are a lot of movies that deal with this. "Shallow Hal" comes into mind.

I hope I'm not breaking forum rules here but I hope that the mods will see this as a mere observation and that I find these as implications.

I'm talking about the Thai society --- well, at least as far as my observation here in Bangkok for the past three years.

I find them so obsessed in what is physically beautiful or attractive, to the point that looking beyond is not much of their concern. If a girl has fair skin (Chinese pale skin, actually) or caucasian looking, with outrageously slim body, then she is considered beautiful.

Having dark skin (they would always refer to this as black skin but I keep on correcting them on that) is unattractive.

There is a plethora of whitening products here (as opposed to the tanning products in the West).

True enough for me, I find these people so shallow in that matter. I really see a lot of dark-skin/tan girls who, in my opinion can give a lot of "white-skinned" girls a run for their money. I tell them that they are truly beautiful and they would look at me and tell me that I'm lying and it's not true --- because they are "black-skinned."

Also people would go to great lengths to own those expensive german cars even if they could barely afford it and they live in an apartment... (then again, it's none of my business but you do get my point)

WHY oh WHY?!!!

A LOT of premium is given to the physical aesthetics, being smart and competent does not matter more often than not.

And to top it all, as far as physical looks go, much premium, importance is given to caucasian-looking English teachers over their competent Asian counterparts even if their English is pathetically lousy for a teacher teaching the target language.

I know of some schools who hired a Romanian, French, caucasian-looking Brazillian and a Russian who are passed on as English teachers regardless of their obvious lack of command of the language.

What can I say? Some people can be just so darn SHALLOW.

Well as far as physical beauty for men, I remember what my father told me a long time ago:

"...build on your character, son. You won't believe it but it is an aphrodisiac among women. True, being handsome would give you all those initial attention and perhaps getting those one-nighters... but being a man of character will have women all over you like mosquitoes --- even when you are old and grey."

Regarding this, I remember an Axe(tm) deo-cologne for men commercial: First impressions last, but what happens next is up to you.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Wed Jul 10, 2002 12:42 am

Have to agree that it does have far too much of an influence. I've only just finished off the teenage bone-structure changes/ the dreaded spots, and now that my face has settled down and, while not drop-dead gorgeous, is at least 'nice-looking'

, I've found I get an easier time of things. People are more helpful, and generally more friendly.

On a related topic, I find that people's conceptions of what is 'beautiful' or attractive differs quite a lot. Mah provided a good number of examples (how's the Sushmita pic coming along BTW

) in his last post. I have a thing for Indian girls, I don't know why. One of my best friends finds Japanese women to be extremely attractive. So standards of what is attractive vary from person to person.

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 1:02 am

"Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder." - True.

There's no such thing as "universal beauty". Everyone experiences it different.

And I'd like to add to this topic, that for your personal success (no matter where and what) the most important thing is how you see YOURSELF. If you hate your face you can't really expect someone else to like it

...

just my 2 c

No worries,

Beldin, the Ugly

EDIT - some typos...

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 1:16 am

Originally posted by Beldin

And I'd like to add to this topic, that for your personal success (no matter where and what) te most important thing is how you see YOURSELF.

I believe attitude will fall under this as well. A bad attitude I believe hurts more than anything else. If you are angry because you 'percieve' yourself as being ugly...it shows in everything you do.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Wed Jul 10, 2002 1:35 am

As with anything else, what you expect to happen will have a surprising influence on what actually does happen. If you think you'll succeed at something you're that much more likely to.
Or to put it differently, from the right mindset will flow the right actions.

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 2:36 am

Indeed, Beldin...

Originally posted by Beldin
"Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder." - True.

There's no such thing as "universal beauty". Everyone experiences it different.

And I'd like to add to this topic, that for your personal success (no matter where and what) the most important thing is how you see YOURSELF. If you hate your face you can't really expect someone else to like it ...

just my 2 c

No worries,

Beldin, the Ugly

EDIT - some typos...

... how can one face his problems if his problem is his face.

Well, kidding aside, Beauty is definitely relative. However, the mere concept of judging and giving value to somebody on the basis of physical looks alone, is for me preposterous.

Sadly, a lot of people are guilty of that.

@Weasel: that reminds me so much of one of my teachers (as well as some co-teachers now) back in high school...

@Odie: I'm still working on the Sushmita pic. Unfortunately, something is wrong with the scanner at the work place. I have to do it by Friday since she wants me to return the pic as she would give me a better one soon.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Wed Jul 10, 2002 2:44 am

Re: Indeed, Beldin...

Originally posted by Maharlika

... how can one face his problems if his problem is his face.

@Odie: I'm still working on the Sushmita pic. Unfortunately, something is wrong with the scanner at the work place. I have to do it by Friday since she wants me to return the pic as she would give me a better one soon.

Aside from the

smiley, that was very Zen @Mah.

Cheers again, mate.

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 3:00 am

I see that you appreciated that liner...

Originally posted by Ode to a Grasshopper
Aside from the smiley, that was very Zen @Mah.

Cheers again, mate.

...but what do you expect? I'm a COMM afterall...

Don't worry, dude. You'll "see" her soon enough.

BTW, do beautiful/handsome ppl also have some problems relating to their looks? I would like to think so.

I mean, some of them are unbelievably lonely because they have yet to find somebody who convincingly likes/loves them more than just their looks.

Ode to a Grasshopper · Wed Jul 10, 2002 3:07 am

Re: I see that you appreciated that liner...

Originally posted by Maharlika

...but what do you expect? I'm a COMM afterall...

That's why I was surprised, considering some of the bad COMMedy that passes from the halls of COMM...Most impressive

CM · Post by CM » Wed Jul 10, 2002 3:08 am

Hey i am pakistani.
I demand to see the pic too....we gotta to keep an eye on the enemy after all

As for the topic, i agree with everything said.
Esp. what Mar said.
Same in Pakistani society as well, she white, and slim she beautiful, even if her face is disfigured.

Littiz · Post by **Littiz** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 5:26 am

Beauty may help in life...
As Intelligence.
As Wisdom.
As Luck.
As many other things.
We all just have to focus on what is best for us.

As for love...
You have to love the "whole" in another.
I could't fall in love with a girl whose appearence
is totally opposite to my likings.
But neither could I with a stupid, superficial, yet
good-looking girl.
I may say: I prefer short-haired, long-fingered girls.
But even more important, I like good-hearted girls.
It's a mix of things, that one day make you scream:
"It's she!!!!!"
Luckily, the world holds variety!!!

@Maharlika: your father was incredibly right about the "character" thing!!!!
So true... I've seen this happen countless times!

HighLordDave · Post by **HighLordDave** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 6:32 am

No matter what part of the world we live in, our cultures place a high value on physical attractiveness and youth. The standards of beauty vary from one part of the world to another, but in every culture, people who have certain characteristics receive more attention because of what they look like than who they are.

Do beautiful people have an easier time? My gut instinct is that yes, they do. They receive more attention because people want to be like them and are looking to be seen with them. Are beautiful people happier than everyone else? Not necessarily. I think a lot of the attention that attractive people get is not positive; a lot of the time, people want to be with/near them for the wrong reasons and as a result they are treated superficially or as objects and not people.

I like to think that I am above thinking about people based strictly on their looks, but everyone factors physical attractiveness into their dating and courtship. However, the bottom line is that if you're serious about pursuing a relationship with someone, you have to balance a number of factors that include: personality, temperment, common interests, etc. along with their physical appearance. All things being equal, I would rather be with a pretty girl than one who is not pretty, which I think is true for everyone (whether you want to admit it or not).

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 9:38 am

Sadly, I think it is true that "attractive" people tend to have an easier time of it in terms of how others perceive them. Some studies suggest, apparently, that even mothers, at a subconscious level, are more likely to respond positively to their children if they are "beautiful."

Personally, I find superficial notions of beauty extremely destructive..... As far as I'm concerned, the shell that is the surface is simply that....a shell. This shell says nothing of an individual's interior.....

I believe that a person's attractiveness is defined by their interior, and as others have stated, so much of what we perceive as beauty is highly subjective.

It are for these reasons that I am also fundamentally opposed to beauty contests.

RandomThug · Post by **RandomThug** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 2:19 pm

eyes

Beauty is definitly in the eye of the beholder, the problem is all our eyes watch tv and the beholders are the media. Beautiful people get by easier, but its not easy that gets things done, its those with strength who succeed. Being hot will get you laid, being motivated gets you a life.

all though I do admit im a sexy little ***** myself. Me believing this alone is a problem, so lets start spreading the word.

thug

Obsidian · Post by **Obsidian** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 2:24 pm

I disagree with the statement beauty is a shell. It is an outward an obvious display of good genetics. Beauty isn't just a face. In men, it is a robust and muscled body (for most cultures) which indicates health and strength, good for siring young, and in women, features like wide hips, slim bodys and large breasts indicate a healthy body capable of bearing many healthy children.

Now, to add my personal experiences here. As a lil gaffer, I was pudgy and pretty damn cute if I do say so myself. But in early adolesence, (12-14) cute turned to pudgy. I really didn't get anywhere with anyone because I looked so young. Now, I'm 17 and have lost my baby fat (mostly), am pretty athletic therefore muscled, and (dont want to sound stuck up) relatively good looking, at least, thats what the ladies tell me. The difference of these years is noticeable. It may be an age thing, but my peers treat me with more respect, and making friends is easier, though it could be high confidence.

Another thing I have noticed, is that beautiful people usually are dating/married to other beautiful people. Rarely do you see an unattractive man with an attractive women or vice versa. Unless thre is plenty of money involved. You think Belle would have fallen in love with the beast if he didn't live in a castle? And notice how the beast turns into prince charming at the end. What kind of message is that.

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 3:01 pm

Originally posted by Obsidian

Another thing I have noticed, is that beautiful people usually are dating/married to other beautiful people. Rarely do you see an unattractive man with an attractive women or vice versa. Unless thre is plenty of money involved. You think Belle would have fallen in love with the beast if he didn't live in a castle? And notice how the beast turns into prince charming at the end. What kind of message is that.

Then Canada must be full of beautiful people

Don't you believe that there are more attractive qualities? qualities that can stand the test of time? and even improve with it... Beauty and the Beast - the true love story or the children's happy ever after?

Thinking of the media, we as readers/observers are lead by the casting. Someone who is considered stereotypically 'beautiful' will have us sympathising regardless of the role they play....the damsel in distress or the wild vixen...Someone considered stereotypically 'ugly' will have us feeling embarassed for them unless they play the bad guy we love to hate. But these are not real people - they are role playing...

There are many more permanent qualities that determine how long an attraction will last, sadly thousands is spent on cosmetic surgery by people with low self esteem wanting to be the magazine person they are not physically designed to be. As much is spent on surgery to prolong youth - but is this prolonging beauty? At what point do we accept that going under the knife achieves rarely more that the desire to do it again?

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 3:09 pm

Beauty may help initially, but in the end, it's all about determination and dedication.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 3:26 pm

Originally posted by Obsidian

Now, I'm 17 and have lost my baby fat (mostly), am pretty athletic therefore muscled, and (dont want to sound stuck up) relatively good looking, at least, thats what the ladies tell me. The difference of these years is noticeable. It may be an age thing, but my peers treat me with more respect, and making friends is easier, though it could be high confidence.

I am glad that you feel comfortable in your current situation. However, as has been pointed out in this thread....some people do not enjoy being regarded for their physical appearance....It can be very offensive for some individuals because to be objectified in such a manner suggests that the inner person is umimportant.