Hi everyoneOriginally posted by Yshania
I am quite confident that anyone with a half ounce of sense would know better than to take these posts seriously,
what is the topic? The Experts Advice On How To Kill A PC...
1. Yeah, the magnet thing is pretty coolOriginally posted by Dottie
The only ones im guilty of so far is 1 and 4.
. 3. Being a notorious coffeedrinker, I have managed to spill coffee into keyboards and also into a (this) laptop. It isn't as bad as most people think, as long as you unplug the keyboard before rinsing it and letting it dry afterwards. Cocacola is worse than coffee - you need to rinse longer. A hairdryer is a useful computer repair utility.
4. Although I haven't fried anything with lightning, I'd rather not discuss the subject...
6. Now, the mini-centronic SCSI connectors really look great with a pin or two flattened out, and there is no way you can straighten them out again. Videocables are rugged pieces of equipment by comparison. Also, do not attempt to solder on a new connector. Chances are you'd get at least one of the 68 lead wrong, giving rather unexpected results.
My personal favourite is if you get a few of the data leads wrong, which often would work, at least with harddisks. Just make sure you never try to read the disk on a different computer. Data confetti...The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations David Friedman
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Yshania
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@Silur - LMAO!
7. With a winning combination of the wrong tools and excessive force, you're virtually guaranteed to be left with one case screw that's simply irremovable. Prudence might dictate a rethink at this point - if it's hard getting under the hood, perhaps it would be easier to by a new computer than upgrade - but we prefer a jemmy.
Just hook the tool under one corner of the incalcitrant cover and prise it off. The paint may crack as the metal bends, but you can always touch that up later with a spot of magnolia emulsion. Try it with bare hands and the cover might snap back into place at the first sign of weakness trapping a finger in the process. Also watch out for that last stubborn screw - it will eventually ping free facewards with the velocity of a bullet.
Damage Potential:
PC: Skin deep
You: Much deeper
7. With a winning combination of the wrong tools and excessive force, you're virtually guaranteed to be left with one case screw that's simply irremovable. Prudence might dictate a rethink at this point - if it's hard getting under the hood, perhaps it would be easier to by a new computer than upgrade - but we prefer a jemmy.
Just hook the tool under one corner of the incalcitrant cover and prise it off. The paint may crack as the metal bends, but you can always touch that up later with a spot of magnolia emulsion. Try it with bare hands and the cover might snap back into place at the first sign of weakness trapping a finger in the process. Also watch out for that last stubborn screw - it will eventually ping free facewards with the velocity of a bullet.
Damage Potential:
PC: Skin deep
You: Much deeper
Parachute for sale, like new! Never opened!
Guinness, black goes with everything.
Guinness, black goes with everything.
I thin I've done this before... Does installing a Video Card with a hammer count?Originally posted by Yshania
We live and learn
6. Now that you've freed the big beige box of it's accoutrements, it's time to crack it open. The golden rule of every day maintenance is to use the wrong tools for the job. Start off by removing the cross head screws with a flat head screwdriver. As soon as you apply any pressure, the screwdriver will slip, ricochet off the case and probably end up in the tender flesh between the thumb and forefinger of your other hand.
Owing to a masterstroke of PC design, you may also have trouble figuring out which screws hold the case cover on. No problem - just unscrew everything. If you hear a loud clunk the chances are you've freed the internal power supply rather than loosened off the case. When it comes to putting everything back, be sure to tighten the screws as much as possible. If you can't shear a few heads off, you'll at least round off the cross heads.
Damage potential:
PC: You may never open it again
You: May never play the piano
It's a long story..(One of my longest post todate)Originally posted by Yshania
LMAO!
First my brother-in-law served in the Airforce. So you know he only plays Air Combat games. He buys a game called Pearl Harbour for a "bargain" (I believe all brother-in-laws have this thing called..."Look what you paid for that. I got the same thing for way less" ). He decides to play it on his "bargain" computer (Yes I heard this as well...being it was a year newer than mine)
Well low and behold the graphics are pixelated (Screwed up) and he can't have this. He uninstalled the game and brings it over to my house..(To prove it's not his computer) At the time I had a TnT 2 (8mb) card and guess what...it played fine on mine.
Now he decides he needs a minor upgrade, and me being the most likely source of help, I have now become the "expert" and tell I tell him to figure out what he has first. Now it gets tricky....no video card in the expansion slots on his computer. I decide it must be part of the motherboard. So far so good.
Now enters his older brother the "real expert". He says that you can add a card to this computer really easy. To the store batman...
32, 64 price this price that. I decide on the 64 (mb) card...mainly because of the name NVIDIA. Back to the batcave..
Card will not fit the slots. Back to the store..
No return..
Buys another card...
Static charge...
Takes whole computer to a real repair shop..
Motherboard fried, Processor fried...
Now $500.00 dollars later, the game runs just as good on his. No pixelated graphics.
(Oh I forgot about the part where we decided to try the card on my computer....I will leave that for another day)
"Vile and evil, yes. But, That's Weasel" From BS's book, MD 20/20: Fine Wines of Rocky Flop.
Sounds like something out Computer Engineering class, only we ran over Mother boards with chairs, and used RJ-45 cables as whips.... Ahh, good times...Originally posted by Weasel
It's a long story..(One of my longest post todate)
First my brother-in-law served in the Airforce. So you know he only plays Air Combat games. He buys a game called Pearl Harbour for a "bargain" (I believe all brother-in-laws have this thing called..."Look what you paid for that. I got the same thing for way less" ). He decides to play it on his "bargain" computer (Yes I heard this as well...being it was a year newer than mine)
Well low and behold the graphics are pixelated (Screwed up) and he can't have this. He uninstalled the game and brings it over to my house..(To prove it's not his computer) At the time I had a TnT 2 (8mb) card and guess what...it played fine on mine.
Now he decides he needs a minor upgrade, and me being the most likely source of help, I have now become the "expert" and tell I tell him to figure out what he has first. Now it gets tricky....no video card in the expansion slots on his computer. I decide it must be part of the motherboard. So far so good.
Now enters his older brother the "real expert". He says that you can add a card to this computer really easy. To the store batman...
32, 64 price this price that. I decide on the 64 (mb) card...mainly because of the name NVIDIA. Back to the batcave..
Card will not fit the slots. Back to the store..
No return..
Buys another card...
Static charge...
Takes whole computer to a real repair shop..
Motherboard fried, Processor fried...
Now $500.00 dollars later, the game runs just as good on his. No pixelated graphics.
(Oh I forgot about the part where we decided to try the card on my computer....I will leave that for another day)
@Weasel: Another thing that is fun to do with video cards and monitors:
Anyone who have owned an old 3dfx card knows about the silly way the card is connected to your 2d video card with an external cable. Now on some occations the screen decides to go blank because there is confusion about wich card should have controle at the moment. The easy way to solve this is to pull out the monitor cable and put it directly into the 2d card. If during this procces your computer sounds KAZAP and the monitor remain black the smart thing to do is conclude that either the monitor or the video card is fryed, then to check wich one it is take a new monitor a connect it to the video card while the comupter is still on. If you hear a new KAZAP and the monitor is still black you have managed to reach the same intellectual hights I have.
Anyone who have owned an old 3dfx card knows about the silly way the card is connected to your 2d video card with an external cable. Now on some occations the screen decides to go blank because there is confusion about wich card should have controle at the moment. The easy way to solve this is to pull out the monitor cable and put it directly into the 2d card. If during this procces your computer sounds KAZAP and the monitor remain black the smart thing to do is conclude that either the monitor or the video card is fryed, then to check wich one it is take a new monitor a connect it to the video card while the comupter is still on. If you hear a new KAZAP and the monitor is still black you have managed to reach the same intellectual hights I have.
While others climb the mountains High, beneath the tree I love to lie
And watch the snails go whizzing by, It's foolish but it's fun
And watch the snails go whizzing by, It's foolish but it's fun
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Yshania
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8. Assuming that you do gain access to your PC's innards - and many never make it that far - let's examine the common myth that static electricity can wreck electronic circuitry. They say a paltry 50 volts or so can fry a microchip but we've tried and it takes more than mere misfortune to do damage with static. You have to take special care if you want to wreak real havoc this way.
First, only work on carpeted surfaces - polyester shag pile is best - and be sure to scuff around in your shoes. Only when you can stick balloons to the wall with nary a rub on your mohair sleeves should you approach the PC.
Be careful not to touch any grounded metal object on your approach, you might discharge the electricity harmlessly - radiators are a particular villain here but even the PCs chassis can spoil things. Also, ignore any namby-pamby directions about wearing an anti-static wrist strap, or keeping new components in their anti-static bags until the last moment. Poke around a bit inside your computer with a static-inducing electric screwdriver and watch the sparks fly.
Damage Potential:
PC: Subtle but effective
You: Free 80s hair style
First, only work on carpeted surfaces - polyester shag pile is best - and be sure to scuff around in your shoes. Only when you can stick balloons to the wall with nary a rub on your mohair sleeves should you approach the PC.
Be careful not to touch any grounded metal object on your approach, you might discharge the electricity harmlessly - radiators are a particular villain here but even the PCs chassis can spoil things. Also, ignore any namby-pamby directions about wearing an anti-static wrist strap, or keeping new components in their anti-static bags until the last moment. Poke around a bit inside your computer with a static-inducing electric screwdriver and watch the sparks fly.
Damage Potential:
PC: Subtle but effective
You: Free 80s hair style
Parachute for sale, like new! Never opened!
Guinness, black goes with everything.
Guinness, black goes with everything.
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Yshania
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Dedicated to RandomThug
9. If you still haven't managed to damage your computer irreparably by this point, don't despair. Most computers use fans to keep the components cool and any component with sharp, spinning blades is an easy target. The fans that cool the power supply are usually guarded by a metal grill that stops anything larger than a stray case screw from slipping inside. Processor cooling fans, however, are much easier to get at. If you can check if yours is actually spinning by putting a finger in the blades, all is well and good; otherwise, a screwdriver may stop it spinning long enough to burn out the motor, causing the processor to overheat.
Damage Potential:
PC: Burn, baby, burn
You: Fingertip remodelling
9. If you still haven't managed to damage your computer irreparably by this point, don't despair. Most computers use fans to keep the components cool and any component with sharp, spinning blades is an easy target. The fans that cool the power supply are usually guarded by a metal grill that stops anything larger than a stray case screw from slipping inside. Processor cooling fans, however, are much easier to get at. If you can check if yours is actually spinning by putting a finger in the blades, all is well and good; otherwise, a screwdriver may stop it spinning long enough to burn out the motor, causing the processor to overheat.
Damage Potential:
PC: Burn, baby, burn
You: Fingertip remodelling
Parachute for sale, like new! Never opened!
Guinness, black goes with everything.
Guinness, black goes with everything.
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dragon wench
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Silly things i have done:
Changed the voltage on a PSU thus blowing the trip and nuking half the machine This was a very long time ago...i did learn from this
I also once blew out a candle and all the wax ended up on a keyboard
@Thug, i can appreciate everything you are saying, especially the one about twelve programs, that really drives me round the bend. It's funny that this phenomenon is not linked to age as so many would have you believe, there are incompetent people in every age group, just because one is young doesn't make them adept with computers, i know a 70 year old who has excellent computer skills, and i have met 6 year olds who couldn't move a mouse *shrug*
@Ysh, great stuff
@DW, i am sure your hair is always perfect
Changed the voltage on a PSU thus blowing the trip and nuking half the machine
This was a very long time ago...i did learn from this I also once blew out a candle and all the wax ended up on a keyboard
@Thug, i can appreciate everything you are saying, especially the one about twelve programs, that really drives me round the bend. It's funny that this phenomenon is not linked to age as so many would have you believe, there are incompetent people in every age group, just because one is young doesn't make them adept with computers, i know a 70 year old who has excellent computer skills, and i have met 6 year olds who couldn't move a mouse *shrug*
@Ysh, great stuff
@DW, i am sure your hair is always perfect
I'd have to get drunk every night and talk about virility...And those Pink elephants I'd see.
LMAO @you all
Since I'm not a computer expert, I have actually not managed to even injure any of my computers...Ok, I poured a glass of apple juice in the keyboard of one of my first computers, but a shower and 2 days of drying later, it was fine again
Since I'm not a computer expert, I have actually not managed to even injure any of my computers...Ok, I poured a glass of apple juice in the keyboard of one of my first computers, but a shower and 2 days of drying later, it was fine again
"There are in fact two things, science and opinion; the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance." - Hippocrates
Moderator of Planescape: Torment, Diablo I & II and Dungeon Siege forums
LOLOriginally posted by Gwalchmai
I just want everyone to know that I have never accidentally killed any of my computers. They all just sort of spontaneously committed suicide. That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it!
It's just entropy at work, right? I'd have to get drunk every night and talk about virility...And those Pink elephants I'd see.
Re: Dedicated to RandomThug
I can tell you, those little fans pull quite a punch. It hurts almost as bad as putting your finger on the CPU (or chipset for that matter) to see if its hot...Originally posted by Yshania
If you can check if yours is actually spinning by putting a finger in the blades, all is well and good
The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations David Friedman