The "humour" Redirect thread

[TheAmazingOopah]

Some good fun with The Simpsons:

[joebob]

a guy walks int a bar, sits and a has a drink, all the time staring into his breast pocket. he has a few more, still staring and occasionally fiddling with it. the bartender cant stand it anymore and asks, "what are you looking at?" the guy pulls out a tiny piano and sets it on the bar. "huh" says the bartender and sets him up again. a while later the man reaches in his pocket again, this time pulling out a tiny little man, who sits at the piano and playsthis beautiful music. the bartender goes nuts, " where did you get such a thing?" the guy just reaches back in and pulls out a tiny lamp. sez, "i was walking on the beach and found this, i rubbed it and a genie came out and granted me one wish."
"man, you gotta let me try it" the bartender snatches it up and sez, "i wish i had a million bucks" about that time a duck walks in, followed by five more. then hundreds of ducks walk in. bartender sez," i said a million bucks not ducks"
the man replies,"you think i asked for a ten inch pianist?"

hope this doesn't offend any bartenders, small musicians,genies, or ducks, as that is not at all my intention, wink,wink

[joebob]

an eagle is flying majesticaly over a field when he notices a good size mouse scurrying about. he finds it irresistable and swoops down, swallowing the mouse whole. the mouse, still alive and well, just tunnels on through and pokes his tiny head from the other end of the eagle. he asks, :how high up are we anyway?
the eagle responds,"bout a hundred feet." the mouse concidered that for a moment, then asked, "you wouldn't **** me would you?"

[Queen_Articuno]

I didnt get this via email, but read it in a book.

"A butcher backed into his meat grinder and got a little 'behind' in his work."

IMHO, this is ROFLMAO!

And its actually quite tame, compared to some of these jokes!

[Red_X]

Originally Posted by joebob

a guy walks int a bar, sits and a has a drink, all the time staring into his breast pocket. he has a few more, still staring and occasionally fiddling with it. the bartender cant stand it anymore and asks, "what are you looking at?" the guy pulls out a tiny piano and sets it on the bar. "huh" says the bartender and sets him up again. a while later the man reaches in his pocket again, this time pulling out a tiny little man, who sits at the piano and playsthis beautiful music. the bartender goes nuts, " where did you get such a thing?" the guy just reaches back in and pulls out a tiny lamp. sez, "i was walking on the beach and found this, i rubbed it and a genie came out and granted me one wish."
"man, you gotta let me try it" the bartender snatches it up and sez, "i wish i had a million bucks" about that time a duck walks in, followed by five more. then hundreds of ducks walk in. bartender sez," i said a million bucks not ducks"
the man replies,"you think i asked for a ten inch pianist?"

hope this doesn't offend any bartenders, small musicians,genies, or ducks, as that is not at all my intention, wink,wink

ROTF! Man that is one of the best I have ever heard, I still havent stopped laughing!

[joebob]

thanks, Red X, i'm glad someone appreciated it.