[Moonbiter]

This idea came to me last night, when an ignoramus on a different message board posted an astonishing amount of hogwash about my home country of Norway. Every country has these kinds of myths and stereotypes that are circulated about them in other nations, and a remote place like Norway have them in droves. So here’s a thread were all of you can kill off these silly ideas about your respective nations, and hopefully let other people learn a little bit. Spam on subject.

NORWAY:

1. There are no polar bears or penguins walking the streets in Norwegian cities. There is the occasional lost moose, fox or badger and up north there might be reindeer, but that’s it. Our cities have pigeons, not penguins.

2. The Midnight Sun is not a special sun circling the north of Norway at night. It is the same sun as you all see. If you want to see a different sun, you need to travel to another solar system, not to Norway.

3. There are no Eskimos in Norway. The Saami people of north Norway live in houses, not in igloos.

4. Norwegian women are not 6 feet tall, big boobed, blonde halfwits named Helga. Helga is not a very usual name in Norway. They do not reply “ja” to every question, or speak bad English with a phony German accent. Just because going topless on the beach is both legal and perfectly normal in Norway, our women are not sinful nymphomaniacs. Sadly, it’s quite the opposite.

5. The fjords of western Norway are not above sea level. They are the sea.

6. We do not ski to work. At the moment it’s December, and we’re having a full pollen alert, our lawns are growing and the farmers are harvesting carrots and turnips for the second time this year. In southern Norway the spring flowers have already arrived.

7. There is no hole in the ozone layer over Norway. Our ozone layer is doing fine, thank you very much.

8. We do not club baby seals to death while we’re waiting for the whales to come in. No, we do not lynch Animal Rights activists in public, nor do we harm them in any other way.

9. Our king does not rule the country; we leave that to the usual rabble of idiot politicians. I have never seen our king or queen ever wear a crown. Their doofus fruitcake son-in-law might want to, though.

10. Finally, and please pay attention: The Vikings did NOT have horns on their helmets! For crying out loud, how many times do people have to be told this?!?!? Who ever came up with the preposterous idea that the finest warriors and adventurers of their era would feel the urge to glue cow horns to their helmets? They did not drink the blood of their enemies from goblets made of skulls, or eat their hearts to gain their strength! Any form of cannibalism was a crime, punishable by “instant axe to the forehead.” The next time someone want to make a movie, write a novel or a comic book or portray the Vikings in any sort of way, they better get their facts straight. There is no excuse for this nonsense anymore.

[Malta Soron]

I'm too lazy to think of something myself, so instead I found this thread.

[penguin_king]

ENGLAND:
1. don't drink tea all day... true i do enjoy a good brew but not all the time.
2. we don't all have the same accent like films and cartoons seem to believe
3.that's all for now

[Sean The Owner]

Canada:
we DO NOT have igloos everywhere, only in the northern territories!

[Magrus]

New York:

New York is a state, which includes many cities, not just the city of New York. Not everyone who claims to be from New York is from NYC. This offends those New Yorkers who do not live in that one resource draining cesspool of a city. Bearing this in mind is good for your health, especially when dealing with those from other areas of NY. Our taxes are all being dumped into keeping that one city out of debt, and it's ruining our own cities, and we become righteously pissed when we are mistaken for coming from that city.

Yeah, us people from the Rochester area talk funny compared to those from NYC or the rest of the state. We are also almost as likely to shoot you for commenting on it as the folks from Buffalo are likely to hurt Miami Dolphins fans for being nearby. Which is far more likely than you will be mugged in NYC. Oh, and It's "Pop" not "soda" up here.

[Curdis]

<SNIP>4. Norwegian women are not 6 feet tall, big boobed, blonde halfwits named Helga. Helga is not a very usual name in Norway. They do not reply “ja” to every question, or speak bad English with a phony German accent. Just because going topless on the beach is both legal and perfectly normal in Norway, our women are not sinful nymphomaniacs. Sadly, it’s quite the opposite.<SNIP>

Just a slight sub-edit based on my experience of one Norwegen woman: The height data, check - 5'8', the boob data, check while not small not big either, the blonde data - wrong was too blonde, halfwit data - check smartish, name data, check - Wrenche, "Ja"/language data, check - spoke near perfect English, sinful nymphomaniac data - wrong and a half.

So may I humbly suggest:

Just because going topless on the beach is both legal and perfectly normal in Norway, our women are typically not sinful nymphomaniacs. Sadly, it’s quite the opposite.

In Australia:

1/ There are not kangaroos on the main street of our capital cities (except for occassionally in Canberra).

2/ We are not easy going and permissive, we are just too lazy to give a rat's arse.

3/ We are typically small minded loud drunkards who think yelling obscenities is an attractive feature. This has lead to it being remarked "What do Australian men and women use for contraception? Answer: "Their personalities".

4/ Rather than looking like Steve Irwin or Crocadile Dundee the typical Australian Male wears a suit and works in a cube farm. - Curdis !

[Magrus]

2/ We are not easy going and permissive, we are just too lazy to give a rat's arse.

3/ We are typically small minded loud drunkards who think yelling obscenities is an attractive feature. This has lead to it being remarked "What do Australian men and women use for contraception? Answer: "Their personalities".

:laugh: I agree. Except, my relationship with an australian was broken up due to the awful personality of the mother involved. Really, who ever heard of moving halfway across the world to avoid a boy? HUH?

[Fiberfar]

9. Our king does not rule the country; we leave that to the usual rabble of idiot politicians. I have never seen our king or queen ever wear a crown. Their doofus fruitcake son-in-law might want to, though.

10. Finally, and please pay attention: The Vikings did NOT have horns on their helmets! For crying out loud, how many times do people have to be told this?!?!? Who ever came up with the preposterous idea that the finest warriors and adventurers of their era would feel the urge to glue cow horns to their helmets? They did not drink the blood of their enemies from goblets made of skulls, or eat their hearts to gain their strength! Any form of cannibalism was a crime, punishable by “instant axe to the forehead.” The next time someone want to make a movie, write a novel or a comic book or portray the Vikings in any sort of way, they better get their facts straight. There is no excuse for this nonsense anymore.

LMAO! They day ole' Ari gets that crown the kingdom is going straight to.... Hell, Norway

Well... There is an american movie underway where the vikings are 7 feet tall, have a longhorn-bullhorns on their heads and are dark sinister characters. Dunno if you're going to see that one?

[Minerva]

Japan is a lot larger than UK. In fact, it is larger than Germany as well.

[moltovir]

Belgium isn't the capital of Brussels, it's the other way around for godsake

[Moonbiter]

Fiberfar wrote:

Well... There is an american movie underway where the vikings are 7 feet tall, have a longhorn-bullhorns on their heads and are dark sinister characters. Dunno if you're going to see that one?

Yes, I know! PATHFINDER It's unbelievable! I don't know any ancient culture that is so insultingly misinterpreted, twisted and falsified in popular culture absolutely all the time as the Vikings. Just check out the synopsis: "An action-adventure set in the time when Vikings tried to conquer North America..." What??????:speech: :speech: :speech: When they make films about ancient Rome, Greece, Macedonia, Africa, etc. they try to make them as historically accurate as possible. Not the Vikings. Hell, no! In fact I can't see any improvement at all, it actually seems to get worse!

[fable]

When they make films about ancient Rome, Greece, Macedonia, Africa, etc. they try to make them as historically accurate as possible.

Not a chance. Films are always made for the largest audience, and that means pandering to the lowest common denominator in expectations: big name actors who look good and can't act, overblown dialog, huge set budgets, no interest in authenticity whatsoever, etc.

Hollywood is especially notorious in the US for it's unrealistic films set in Ancient Rome. They are so bad, that there are even camp festivals dedicated to them, much in the spirit of such festivals devoted to the "work" of Ed Wood, Jr.

Nor is Hollywood alone to blame, really. Popular film creation centers have always ignored history when doing historical films, including just enough in the way of proper costumes, etc, to give a very modern story an atmosphere of nostalgia and romance. Vikings don't come off any better, but they don't come off any worse than a lot of New York Jewish actors dressing up in spotless togas as they walk around a gleamingly white city named Rome and declaim in stunted English.

[Moonbiter]

@fable: I said they try to make them as accurate as possible. If you look at for example the series "Rome" on HBO, it's a conscious effort. There has never been a Viking movie where they even make a vague attempt at an authentic portrayal. In fact it's quite the opposite, they consciously twist and distort them in the worst possible way.

[fable]

@fable: I said they try to make them as accurate as possible. If you look at for example the series "Rome" on HBO, it's a conscious effort. There has never been a Viking movie where they even make a vague attempt at an authentic portrayal. In fact it's quite the opposite, they consciously twist and distort them in the worst possible way.

We don't really have any argument going about Vikings, Moonbiter. All I'm saying is that in most of those films, there's no "trying," at all. They don't really care in the slightest. I just checked some reviews about "Rome," and they praise it for its visual accuracy, but at least a couple also make note that it's the only attempt at accuracy in such "ancient history dramas" they've seen.

I'm not suggesting Vikings get fair treatment. They don't. From what little I know of the culture, the usual myths are ridiculous stereotypes, and about as accurate as portraying witches in pointy hats arond cauldrons, or Tony Curtis as a Roman general. All I'm saying is that the film capitals of the world have no more interest in accuracy for any other comparable culture, and it sounds like "Rome" is the exception that proves the rule.

[Moonbiter]

@fable: We agree. Oh, and give "Rome" a peek, it's worth it. Here's a quote from the director of "Pathfinder" that leaves me rolling on the floor:

"Nispel explained how, as an Eastern European, he was taught growing up that Vikings had reached America long before Christopher Columbus did. He wanted to portray Viking culture differently and more accurately than other films have, emphasizing how terrifying they were."


The mind boggles...

Okay, back on subject:

NORWAY:

11. Santa is not Norwegian. Period. Just because we reached the North Pole first and have a lot of reindeers, that doesn't make him an ethnic Norwegian. In Norse tradition there is a species of elf called a Nisse. This critter is one of the "hulderfolk," the pagan spirits or faerie of Norse myth, and is related to trolls and other unpleasant beings. It is usually portrayed as a small man with a knitted red cap and a beard, living near farmsteads. That is basically where the resemblance to Santa ends.

12. Norway is not the capital of Sweden.

[Fiberfar]

12. Norway is not the capital of Sweden.

Try typing Norway when using google earth You'll end up in Sweden somewhere :laugh:

[Chimaera182]

I see fable doesn't even bother with talking about his region. Too embarrassed, I suppose.

So, about the U.S. Let's see...

1.) All Americans aren't stupid. This is a misconception both in and outside of the U.S. Only the vast majority of them are dumb.

2.) All Americans are not obese. I can't stress this one enough. There are equal proportions of obese and anorexic people in the U.S.

3.) All Americans aren't lazy. Again, just the majority.

Yes, I was kidding. Maybe.

Florida, in particular.

1.) Not all Floridians are dumb yokels. There are some, as sometimes stereotypes can be true about some people, but the majority of Floridians are not yokels. How this one got started I don't get; I suppose it's just the assumption that, with Florida being in the south--and the stereotype attached to "Southerners"--Florida somehow got roped in on it.

2.) There are not rolling fields of orange groves everywhere, nor is the vast proportion of Florida dominated by swampland. I had a friend come in from California who swore to me it appeared that Florida was nothing but swamp. Then, driving up the highway, he pointed at canals and trees and claimed it reaffirmed his statement. It is NOT true!

3.) The "Sunshine State" is an undeserved name. Even as I type this, it is raining outside, in the middle of December I might add. The sun shines here maybe only half the year, the rest of the time it is cloudy and raining. The Sunshine State is a truly undeserved and really bizarre nickname for Florida.

[Coot]

The Dutch are absolutely not a tolerant people.

[fable]

I see fable doesn't even bother with talking about his region. Too embarrassed, I suppose.

It's just that everything you can say about the USA is both true and false, as you well know. The US is such an overgrown monstrosity of small, competing, highly distinctive cultures, that it's wrong to make any assumptions.

For example, you could say that the country has been solidly Republican for the better (or worse) part of a generation--except that there are areas of the country, easily larger than the biggest European nations, which have voted solidly Democratic in federal and state elections the whole time. Monolingual English speakers? There are large portions of the Eastern and Western seaboards where bilingual education is assumed; and in some large portions of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and Southern Florida, Spanish is the first language. The US has a reputation for violence, but many American communities have seen a level of violence no greater than that of a local drunk who throws beer bottles on Saturday nights--while some other communities are literally ruled by gangs.

Too many people assume America is the pop culture BS presented on television, but that's all New York City marketing and Los Angeles taste. There is no "average American." You could put 25 different Americans in a room together and find they agree only one thing, getting away from each other, so they could speak to people whose concepts and values they could understand.

[Silur]

I just found out a lot of new stuff about my country today. It seems we aren't such whimpering inneficient consensus-addicts after all...

The Local - Turkish documentary slanders Sweden

I especially like the genocide of the Saami... I guess the survivors fled to the igloos in Norway.