Nothing
Nothink
No thing
No think
No a thing
No a think
No the ing.
No the ink
No think about nothing
No think about no-think
No thing,really here is no think...
(and where is my rabbit!?!?!?!?!)
SFMBE
Click ere to see nothing(k) !
IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact
the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between
8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a
smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you
like us to call you before we come"? I replied that I didn't
see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't
working. He also requested that we report future outages by
email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).
IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the
clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the
credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the
transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she
explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had
just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in
front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they
matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor
call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason:
too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want themto cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce.
"He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge,
how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why
we ask."
IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross
the street. I was crossing with an intellectually-
challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what
the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people
when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?!"
IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a goodbye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who
was leaving the company due to "down sizing," our manager
commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more
often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each
other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why
her system would not turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership
to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked
in it. We went to the service department and found a
mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried
the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact
the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between
8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a
smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you
like us to call you before we come"? I replied that I didn't
see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't
working. He also requested that we report future outages by
email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).
IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the
clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the
credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the
transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she
explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had
just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in
front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they
matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor
call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason:
too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want themto cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce.
"He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge,
how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why
we ask."
IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross
the street. I was crossing with an intellectually-
challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what
the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people
when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?!"
IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a goodbye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who
was leaving the company due to "down sizing," our manager
commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more
often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each
other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why
her system would not turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership
to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked
in it. We went to the service department and found a
mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried
the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
"Vile and evil, yes. But, That's Weasel" From BS's book, MD 20/20: Fine Wines of Rocky Flop.
-
NeKr0mAnCeR
- Posts: 719
- Joined: Tue May 29, 2001 10:00 pm
- Location: in A.D. 2101
- Contact:
