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Things a Morrowind NPC would never actually say
Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 7:47 pm
by fable
An ordinator: "Hey, nice armor! You get that from one of the boys? Right! Care to do lunch?"
A dremora: "No, don't mind me. Go right ahead and steal from my shrine. I mean, that's what it's here for, right? You never come by for any other reason, you never call..."
Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 9:09 pm
by unregisturd
Head of a guild: "Crap! I think I just pooped my pants!"
Like that?
Golden Saint: "Does this helmet make me look fat?"
Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 9:23 pm
by dragon wench
Golden Saint: "Yet another intrepid fool wanting to steal my soul, why must I perpetually suffer such imbeciles?"
Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 9:26 pm
by fable
Lord Vivec: "Hey, Smilin' Joe Vivec, here! And have I got some previously owned guars to show you...!"
Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 10:16 pm
by dragon wench
Ogrim: "Hey puny adventurer stop laughing at my size, I'm just big-boned!"
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 9:25 am
by Monolith
Any NPC: "Dude, can you show me the way to a toilet or some thick bushes?"
Seyda Neen's Tax Collector: "( put in here anything you want)"
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 9:30 am
by Gwalchmai
Any NPC, panicked: "Where have all the children gone?"
Any NPC: "I just want to go home and go to bed.... Why must I continually walk around out here?"
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 9:33 am
by Monolith
Originally posted by Gwalchmai
Any NPC, panicked: "Where have all the children gone?"
Any NPC: "I just want to go home and go to bed.... Why must I continually walk around out here?"
LOL two things I wanted to add, too.
Any Guild-Master: "I wanted to send you to the other side of Vvardenfell...but hey, I'm not such an a**. Get me a cup of coffee and that's it..."
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 9:35 am
by fable
Archmagister Gothren: "Hi, I'm not Gothren of House Telvanni, but I play him on tv. If like me, you suffer from the daily pain of arthritis, then consider buying..."
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 10:07 am
by lifeishell91
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 10:16 am
by irish37130
Any NPC--"Well, ya see Timmy, We in VVerdenfall have the best Community Watch Program of all. We NEVER go to bed. We just keep an eye out for thieves all day and all night."
Usually followed with, "Hey man, where's that Khajit when I need him. I can't stay awake any longer without some more good moon sugar!"
Any guild master to another, "Oh good, another adventurer ready to walk across the continent doing jobs that Fed Ex would find humiliating. I bet I can get him to do something more stupid than you!"
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 10:37 am
by Monolith
Yea, looks like I'm the trend setter in this thread
Vivec to a guard: "I bet you've never touched a divinity befor, have you? Want to scrub my back?"
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 10:49 am
by fable
Arrille: "Sorry, we're closed, today. My son's bar mitzvah."
(Hope I spelt that right!)
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 10:55 am
by Locutus
Fargoth: Im strait...no really, I AM.....
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 11:35 am
by lifeishell91
Originally posted by Locutus
Fargoth: Im strait...no really, I AM.....
Sorry Locutus but that was kinda mean. I mean you pretty much insulted all gay guys in this forum
And thats just pretty damn low.
And no, this isn't a joke
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 11:43 am
by lifeishell91
Daedroth:
"NO I'm not really an alligator, please no, don't turn me into a handbag or a pair of shoes...no...please...NO! AHH!!
"
*Dies of Trauma*
LOL!
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 12:07 pm
by irish37130
"You know what this countryside needs? More cliffracers!"
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 12:33 pm
by Sarrin Khane
Casius Cosades "Who took my shirt?"
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 12:47 pm
by Fer'or
Any NPC: "If only my parents teached me how to handle a doorknob."
Posted: Tue May 18, 2004 1:00 pm
by tabooey
"I spoke to Michael Eisner about that new Red Mountain water park..."
"The new issue of PlayOrc just hit the stands!!!