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While you were sleeping

Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2002 12:10 pm
by RandomThug
The clock clicked its silent digital click as time rolled over to two in the morning. Sweating from the stress and frustration of the day I sat quietly in front of my computer, the low hum from the proccessor fan the only sound echoing in the vastness of my room. I wonder over and over what would be of my life If I had not dropped out of that college, where I would be if I hadn't decided to dump my ex... what life would be like if I lied on the military exame and didnt mark down I had asthma. Would I be this disturbed still? Would my head hurt, my back ache and my mind basically throb with this constant acknowledgement of how far in debt I have become.

While you sleep I sit and ponder, the what ifs.. the whys... the maybes. I then decide its not worth the worry, its not worth the struggle... I contemplate for a heart beat running away, changing my name. Perhaps driving off that cliff isnt so bad of an idea... no thats not going to work, I have to many beers to drink and to many friends to make before I leave this hell hole.

On that note I go get a beer, still I have typed nothing on my moniter... its now three o clock, i have to wake up in three hours for work. Put on that fake smile, go around fixing computers... setting up a network... fix this hub, correct my spellcheck... man I dont wanna go... but I have to. I am only 20 years old and already about 20k in debt, and I have nothing to show of it...

Fosters is a good beer for depression, thick enough to leave a sting.... but not too thick to create a belly ache.

Well four o clock rolls around, Im out of weed and out of beer now... nothing left to do but hit the sack.

But I cant sleep.

thug


(ps im not this depressing normally, just had to type it and didnt know where it put it)

Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2002 12:16 pm
by Ode to a Grasshopper
Oddly poetic.

Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2002 12:21 pm
by Tybaltus
Certainly was depressing. I can say Ive felt that way before, just under different circumstances. Mainly due to the fact I dont have a job yet, and I am not really in debt.

I must say there were some strong images portrayed in that...

Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2002 2:50 pm
by Vicsun
Last person who wrote something that depressive was darkpoet. I remember that what he wrote (don't even remember what it was anymore) really depressed me. He said he considered suicide after his brother (maybe it was a nephew or an uncle.. don't remember) "blew his brains out".

I'll try to find the story for you if for some reason you'd with to read it. If you don't I'd do it for myself to recall some old memories.


edit=> Here it is.. Found it

edit2=> Forgot to mention - his story was fake - he made it up. I believe (without being too sure) that it was a reason for him being banned.

Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2002 3:17 pm
by RandomThug
hey now

Yeah while that story is based on last night... its not my current or standing feelings. I tend to vent hardcore at times in text, or sometimes i get odd feelings of a short story... i get random blurbs of stuff all the time. I am considering creating my own little thread for my random madnes.

thug

Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2002 3:20 pm
by Mr Sleep
Re: hey now
Originally posted by RandomThug
I am considering creating my own little thread for my random madnes.
Hell i think every thread on this board is more or less for that reason :D

Have you considered short stories?

Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2002 5:06 pm
by RandomThug
Considered?

Actually thats what I am going to do. Im going to post my little short stories here damnit, and thats whats up. Im going to make my classic gaming articles to http://www.classicgaming.com/thelastoutpost (snicker)

and my madness here.


thug

Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2002 5:26 pm
by Aqua-chan
Have you ever considered FanFiction.net ? I admit that thier server really *sucks*, but when it's operating, it is a HUGE site. I post all of my writings up there all the time.

Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2002 6:10 pm
by wiwimu
depressing but sweet it a wierd way.....