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Hunched over a table in a dimly lit cluttered room, Bs looks over the map he has pieced together from various sources.The time has come to put his plans into effect. The months of tunnelling are almost completed, and according to his map, he need only to dig up at the end odf the tunnel to find the female companionship he craves. Whistleing a happy tune, he puts his best $3.00 suit on, splashes on some "I'm a manly studmuffin" aftershave and sets of down the tunnel.

His thoughts are excited as he breaks the surface, his heart beating with anticipation. Suddenly, a blast of frigid air greets him. Something is not quite right it seems, the object of his affection doesn't live in a cold climate. He peeks his head through the floor and lookas around in amazement.

The entire room is made out of ice. A true to life igloo, he sudenly realizes. Mounds of discarded textbooks litter the floor, obviously underused. There is no light save the light from a computer screen sitting at the desk. The light is dim, but more than enough to make out a figure sitting before the screen. A most disturbing figure.

A young man is sitting there, eyes vacant, fingers flying across the keyboard.Upon the figures head there is a paper crown, cutout unevenly and stapled together, with the words "King of Spam" written in crayon. A towel is tied around the figures neck, no doubt a royal cape. The figure is only clad otherwise in a huge diaper...no, wait....it is a loinclothe!!!! Even more disturbing is the huge novelty beard that is superglued to the figures face. Suddenly, the figure begins to rock back and forth and speak in backwards Yoda talk, muttering and addressing himself as I Sage. Damn his information, this isn't his desrtination, this is Aegis's igloo.

BS mumbles curses under his breath about unreliable sources and lowers himself back down the tunnel, just as Aegis tries to levitate from his chair, falling with a none to graceful thud to the floor. Shineing his light on the map, BS see's where he made the wrong turn.

Whistleing happily to himself, he puts the image out of his mind and proceeds to his next destination along the tunnels................................

Originally posted by BS
Hunched over a table in a dimly lit cluttered room, Bs looks over the map he has pieced together from various sources.The time has come to put his plans into effect. The months of tunnelling are almost completed, and according to his map, he need only to dig up at the end odf the tunnel to find the female companionship he craves. Whistleing a happy tune, he puts his best $3.00 suit on, splashes on some "I'm a manly studmuffin" aftershave and sets of down the tunnel.<snip>

If you try some "I'm a manly studpuffin" aftershave I'm sure Foul would be happy to help you out...

Good one BS.

I shudder to think where your subterranean travels will lead you next. I'm installing seismic detection devices and an iron plate on the floor. (PS I live on the third storey )

ROFL! That was god BS.

LOL BS!

Perhaps he'll end up in KiD's bunker next!
(In a bunker, underneath YOUR house. etc)

Making his way throught the tunnels, BS's anticipation begins to heighten. It won't be long now before he comes upon his object of desire. he halts at the end of ne particularly long tunnel, looking up at the floor he must break through. No mistakes this time. He has checked his map twice, and this is the jackpot.

as he beaks through the surface, he peers around the room. Something is odd, not quite right. this doesn't look like....then he starts to take in details.

On the floor, there are several editions of "Pinky and the Brain's Guide to World Domination" . One book is open to the table of contents, and each chapter has been crossed out, evidently all tried and failed. Judging by the ntes scribbled, the owner of the books feels as though he has been backstabbed and betrayed. Pictures of Waverly and Foul, with little darts embedded in the images, line the walls. a wadded up COMM poster is in the waste basket,A weird looking machine is in the corner, a device of foul desructive qualities, no doubt, this is the legendary Behemouth Breaker of Boards, and finally his eyes settle on the lone person in the room.

In front of the computer, eyes glowing with a strange light, he hears the words as the man speaks. "Yes Preciousss, they takes you away from us, tries to keep you for themselves they does. But soon, my Precious, soo, we will have you back, oh yes, My precious, soon, we will come for you. Then we make nasty little SYMians pay, yes, pay for stealing from poor Weasel."

A rant follows, as Weasel liberally spreads blame around to everyone, most promenintly Flagg, and Waverly. Then he grins maniacally, and begins reading a new book, 1001 ways to win a Goddess of wisdom. Suddenly, he rises and actually begins to enter his computer. Amazing. Moments later, he returns, his body covered in various traps and wrapped in barb wire, as he curses thos anti- weasel devices his precious is protected by.

Lowering himself back into the tunnels, BS wonders who this "Precious" is, but the only clues he could obtain are something about a hill and the mediterranian. Oh well, a temporary setback.
he examines the map again.....ahhh, he has been reading it upside down. cursing his luck, he turns the map right side up and begins to head back through the tunnels. This time, there cam be no mistake...........................

ROFL BS, keep it up

Where will next BS turn up, stay tuned next time on the Tales of fabulous wonderful super BS.

Pretty damn funny BS, you old hermit you.

This is like a couple of episodes of Quantam leap where Sam Beckett appears in a woman's body, except with Bloodstalker its, um, well, you know.. like a couple of episodes of Quantam leap where he's in a woman's body.

It's times like these I wish my house were built on stilts.

Good work BS

Originally posted by AbysmalNature
Where will next BS turn up, stay tuned next time on the Tales of fabulous wonderful super BS.

Pretty damn funny BS, you old hermit you.

Wow, you've become SUPER BS!! Able to down yards in a single gulp.....Can leer drunkenly at women at will......Skip out on bar tabs in a flash....

@BS : ROFLMAO ! Great !

Keep at it , I can't wait to read the sequel(s) ....

No worries,

Beldin

OMG ! A tunnelling BS

Well I doubt he can tunnel into my bunker since it's all made by titanium But If he does I hope he brings what I asked

Keep up the good work BS

BS: Very good work !!!

Good one BS--best thing since the hermit cabin....

Originally posted by Bloodstalker
he puts the image out of his mind

Not an easy task, I imagine.


I'm glad my throne room is on Saturn rather than Earth.

Thanks guys. glad you like it. Just noticed I misspelled the title of the thread, how embarrassing. Well, back to the maps.

This has to be it. Third time is the charm as they say. rubbing his hands together in gleeful anticipation of the companionship he is about to have, BS head up through the floor. dammit! still, he is suffering setbacks. This is not the room of hisobject of affection. That is apparent as soon as his eyes adjust to the light.

The first thing he sees is one of those old plastic toy lightsabers, only this one is different from any he has seen before. This one has something drawn on the plastic blade in crayon? no, magic marker. Long streaks of flame have been drawn, evidently, this is the infamous Sword of Flames. Now he realizes where he is, and looks around for the occupant. He perks up as he hears the name of Ysh and Viv being mentioned, along with T, Georgi and various other SYMettes. To judge from the excited tone, maybe he has arrived in the middle of a party!

Then, the bathroom door opens, and BS's hopes are dashed. Out walks Waverly, clad only in a towel around his waist, carrying some duckies, a tugbat, and a turtle?? Watching as Waverly reverently replaces his bath toys on the dresser, he notices that yes, indeed, Waverly is lacking any semblence of body hair, just razor burn. Then the strangest sight BS has ever seen begins to unfold. Watching in utter astonishment, Waverly takes out several toupees, and begins to super glue them to his chest. a novel idea, and very creative, but it seems that the master of flames could not be bothered to to purchase the toupees of the same color.

As waverly sits at the computer, a dazed light comes to his eyes. He looks gleefully through SYM, flaming and flirting, all the while mumbling something about Minerva and the broken promise she made to him that caused him to shave his hair. The figure reaches to scratch his chest, and his fingers get stuck in the glue, locking him in a position that makes him appear to be groping his own chest.This seems to annoy him, and he reaches with his free hand for the lightsaber.

losing interest, and not wanting to be cought looking at any of this, BS drops back into the tunnel. Damn, this is more confusing than he had thought. He sits and gazes at the map for many moments, draws out his next path, and begins to walk with purpose down yet another tunnel. Perhaps a drink before his next surfacing. After the last 3 tries, he needs one...............

ROFLMAO!!! heeehhee! oohhohhoo! heehoo...
good one BS. Am currently trying to edit Irenicus' Dungeon to include a wandering Bug-BS in sewer regions...

ps has anyone stopped to wonder what might be at the end of this labyrinth? Flee now, Oh ladies of SYM, flee now!

whohoo! BS is the man/ dude/ daddy/ dog's knackers! you just have to wonder how much spare time he has though, and worry about the coming revelations...