Guidelines of sucessful wrestling
Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2002 12:31 pm
I was watching wrestlemania last night when the power went out and I had nothing to do but think. So I started thinking, if I was a wrestler, what common pitfalls could I avoid that everyone seems to fall into? so here are some general guidelines for anyone interested in becoming a wrestler.
Never EVER worry about any foul disgusting deed I may do, because the fans, no matter how wretched I become, will love me again the minute I beat up some other bad guy.
If in a match, and my opponent has a 7 foot, 300 pound bodyguard at ringside, never take a swing at him just for the hell of it.
Never EVER use any submission hold such as the Sleeper or the armbar. They never work, and only give your opponent time to catch his second wind. This rule also applies to any basice wrestling move such as the DDT, you may use such moves, but never go for the cover after as you will at most only get a two count.
*exception*....any move can quickly become devastating once you give it a cool name and label it your finisher. ex..a simple chop will do very minimal damage, unless you name it the Chop from Hell or something similar, in which case it will lay your opponent out indefinatly.
Do not bring any forign objects into the ring, they will eventually be taken from you and used against you by your oponent.
Do not touch the ref, for even the breeze from your passing can knock them out and render them unable to count to three when you have your oponent pinned for five minutes.
If you are a 130 lb lightweight and your opponent is a 7 300+ pound giant, never use any high flying moves such as the cross body block, as the end result will be that you will be caught in the air and dropped on you head
If things are going your way, do not climb to the top turnbuckle and try an impressive aeriel assault (unles it has a cool name) as your opponent will simply move and you will land wrong and hurt yourself.
Never, under any circumstances, remove the padding on any of the ring posts, as you will never get the oportunitu to ram your opponnent into the steel because he will be repeatedly slamming your head into it.
Never accept a title shot unless it is at a Pay-Per-View, as you have no chance of winning the belt because titles do not change hands except on said pay per views.
If your opponent has been avoiding you all night backstage because he is afraid of you, then suddeny shows up in the ring and demands you come to meet him "one on one", do not run to the ring thinking you have the chance to kick his tail. It is a setup, and that 7 foot bodyguard is out of sight waiting on you with a steel chair.
Never EVER worry about any foul disgusting deed I may do, because the fans, no matter how wretched I become, will love me again the minute I beat up some other bad guy.
If in a match, and my opponent has a 7 foot, 300 pound bodyguard at ringside, never take a swing at him just for the hell of it.
Never EVER use any submission hold such as the Sleeper or the armbar. They never work, and only give your opponent time to catch his second wind. This rule also applies to any basice wrestling move such as the DDT, you may use such moves, but never go for the cover after as you will at most only get a two count.
*exception*....any move can quickly become devastating once you give it a cool name and label it your finisher. ex..a simple chop will do very minimal damage, unless you name it the Chop from Hell or something similar, in which case it will lay your opponent out indefinatly.
Do not bring any forign objects into the ring, they will eventually be taken from you and used against you by your oponent.
Do not touch the ref, for even the breeze from your passing can knock them out and render them unable to count to three when you have your oponent pinned for five minutes.
If you are a 130 lb lightweight and your opponent is a 7 300+ pound giant, never use any high flying moves such as the cross body block, as the end result will be that you will be caught in the air and dropped on you head
If things are going your way, do not climb to the top turnbuckle and try an impressive aeriel assault (unles it has a cool name) as your opponent will simply move and you will land wrong and hurt yourself.
Never, under any circumstances, remove the padding on any of the ring posts, as you will never get the oportunitu to ram your opponnent into the steel because he will be repeatedly slamming your head into it.
Never accept a title shot unless it is at a Pay-Per-View, as you have no chance of winning the belt because titles do not change hands except on said pay per views.
If your opponent has been avoiding you all night backstage because he is afraid of you, then suddeny shows up in the ring and demands you come to meet him "one on one", do not run to the ring thinking you have the chance to kick his tail. It is a setup, and that 7 foot bodyguard is out of sight waiting on you with a steel chair.