GameBanshee Forums

This, I am told, is an actual letter of resignation. If it isn't/wasn't, it has been noted for future reference...


Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow.
One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never **** with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

Sincerely,

Ted Brewer


If anyone knows this guy - shake his hand from me!

ROFLMAO I want to hire this person to write my resignation letter if I ever quit my job

Oh that so kicks ass! Finally the people rise to power! If that is real, good on the lad!

They would be well placed with the necessary sarcasm

proof that the pen is indeed mightier than the sword

and that not knowing how to cover your tracks is worse than not having a good enough memory to lie!

That is truly class

One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never **** with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.


I am amazed and embarassed to have access to our proxy logs here at work. Basically, it states line by line where each machine is going on the Internet, every single request. It isn't pretty. I put filters on our proxy server prohibiting access to certain sties, and our CEO got pissed as hell (I knew, of course, he was one of the worst culprits). It was funny when he was unable to explain to me his opinion of "how the Internet was broken". What a maroon (that's Bugs Bunny-ese for moron).

Anyway, the letter is classic, and since I have a similar job and gripes as the author, I'm certain to save it. Thanks, Ysh.

Thats is a master piece! Finally, the working class are standing up!

I now look at our network administrator in a whole new light!

And now, thanks to Ned, I am frightened. I am becomeing just paranoid enough that I may heve to stop surfing while at work, which would pretty much eliminate my participation here at SYM. Any privacy suggestions, @Ned?

Originally posted by Gwalchmai
I now look at our network administrator in a whole new light!

And now, thanks to Ned, I am frightened. I am becomeing just paranoid enough that I may heve to stop surfing while at work, which would pretty much eliminate my participation here at SYM. Any privacy suggestions, @Ned?

Going to sites we shouldn't Gwal?

Originally posted by Nippy


Going to sites we shouldn't Gwal?

Actually, this is about the only site I go to, sad to say. But do I really want my bosses to know that? I should be working, they would say. Do they need to know that I downloaded CE's picture 43 times? I think not.

I am just about to use this letter.

Originally posted by Gwalchmai


Actually, this is about the only site I go to, sad to say. But do I really want my bosses to know that? I should be working, they would say. Do they need to know that I downloaded CE's picture 43 times? I think not.

43? A miniscule amount...

D'oh! Shouldn't of said that...

@Gwalchmai,

It all depends on the size of your company and the extent to which they monitor their Internet traffic. For liability reasons, it should be monitored and enforced. Around here, at least surfing for smut, is done by the noble class, er um... management. It really is atrocious and I just smirk when they speak of lost time and misused resources.

If your company was monitoring hard core and they viewed your activities as a waste of time, odds are they'd put a filter on Game Banshee's domain name and/or IP perhaps along with a verbal reprimand.

I know of some companies with 1000+ employees globally that use only Cisco equipment for Internet access. Cisco equipment doesn't really have any logging tools for monitoring each and every access. The log files grow extrememly quick. Here at my work, the log files are about 4.5 MB a day. That's a simple .txt log file so you can imagine the size and the humor at knowing how the CEO spends his day.

Beautiful! And I would have needed it last thursday...

Speaking of proxies and paranoia... has anyone ever considered whats in your ISP's cache? The ones I've worked for did caching on a voluntary basis (ie the user configures it), but some ISP's do transparent caching on all webtraffic. Imagine what's in those logs... crossreference with accesslogs... crossreference with customer database... automate blackmailnote

Guess I won't need to find a new job

Too bad something as pleasant as that never happens in reallife. It's managers like those described there that I suspect caused some biblical author long ago to invent the concept of hell: if you can't get vengeance in reallife, you can always wish eternal pain on 'em after death.

Originally posted by Silur
Beautiful! And I would have needed it last thursday...

Speaking of proxies and paranoia... has anyone ever considered whats in your ISP's cache? The ones I've worked for did caching on a voluntary basis (ie the user configures it), but some ISP's do transparent caching on all webtraffic. Imagine what's in those logs... crossreference with accesslogs... crossreference with customer database... automate blackmailnote

Guess I won't need to find a new job

Yes i have, we get it all the time in work when we upload something new and our ISP is still caching the old pages, it really annoys us since we spend the next few minutes checking whether we have actually done the work or not

Credit where credit is due Dragon Wench sent me this one

Originally posted by Ned Flanders
@Gwalchmai,

It all depends on the size of your company and the extent to which they monitor their Internet traffic. For liability reasons, it should be monitored and enforced. Around here, at least surfing for smut, is done by the noble class, er um... management. It really is atrocious and I just smirk when they speak of lost time and misused resources.

If your company was monitoring hard core and they viewed your activities as a waste of time, odds are they'd put a filter on Game Banshee's domain name and/or IP perhaps along with a verbal reprimand.

I know of some companies with 1000+ employees globally that use only Cisco equipment for Internet access. Cisco equipment doesn't really have any logging tools for monitoring each and every access. The log files grow extrememly quick. Here at my work, the log files are about 4.5 MB a day. That's a simple .txt log file so you can imagine the size and the humor at knowing how the CEO spends his day.

I have no idea how much ore even if my company monitors internet activity. I know one guy in our Phoenix office was fired for accessing porn sites, but he was caught on the weekend literally with his pants down! If my company knew how much time I waste at GameBanshee, they might consider getting rid of me. However, My work always gets done, so I don't know... They might use it as an excuse, since they are feeling the economic pinch right now.

But here's the question: What can I do to avoid being detected by any Big Brother software they might decide to run in the future? Here's the other question: How much do you think I need to pay to bribe our network administrator to show me all the web sites our Upper Management go to?