The Truth
Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2002 10:13 am
1. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. Given equal bladder size, whenever you go - he goes at the same time.
2. You're never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
3. Reading when you're drunk is horrible!
4. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel manly.
5. You're never quite sure whether it is against the law to have a fire in your own back garden.
6. Nobody ever dares make Cup-a-Soup in a bowl.
7. You never know where to look when eating an apple.
8. It is impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
9. Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel macho.
10. Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
11. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
12. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
13. The most embarrassing thing you can do as a school child is call your teacher mum.
14. The smaller the monkey, the more it looks like it will kill you at the first given opportunity.
15. Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
16. Every bloke whilst releaving himself has at least once flushed the chain half way through and raced against the flush (or may be tempted to try it now!
)
17. Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
18. It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisby.
19. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
20. Old ladies can eat more than you think.
21. You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
22. There's no panic like the momentary panic when you get your head or hand stuck in something.
23. No-one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
24. People who don't drive slam doors too hard.
25. You've turned into your Dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood to specifically stir paint with.
26. Everyone's had an uncle who has playfully tried to 'steal' their nose with his thumb and forefinger.
27. In every plate of chips, there is always a bad chip.
28. Beneath every floating balloon is a tearful child.
29. Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2. You're never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
3. Reading when you're drunk is horrible!
4. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel manly.
5. You're never quite sure whether it is against the law to have a fire in your own back garden.
6. Nobody ever dares make Cup-a-Soup in a bowl.
7. You never know where to look when eating an apple.
8. It is impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
9. Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel macho.
10. Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
11. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
12. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
13. The most embarrassing thing you can do as a school child is call your teacher mum.
14. The smaller the monkey, the more it looks like it will kill you at the first given opportunity.
15. Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
16. Every bloke whilst releaving himself has at least once flushed the chain half way through and raced against the flush (or may be tempted to try it now!
)17. Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
18. It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisby.
19. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
20. Old ladies can eat more than you think.
21. You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
22. There's no panic like the momentary panic when you get your head or hand stuck in something.
23. No-one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
24. People who don't drive slam doors too hard.
25. You've turned into your Dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood to specifically stir paint with.
26. Everyone's had an uncle who has playfully tried to 'steal' their nose with his thumb and forefinger.
27. In every plate of chips, there is always a bad chip.
28. Beneath every floating balloon is a tearful child.
29. Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.