Holy Bible Automotive Frenzy
Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2001 6:57 pm
Most people assume that WWJD stands for "What would Jesus do?". But the initials actually stand for "What Would Jesus Drive?".
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth, because the Bible states, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury".
However, in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm".
But, perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast".
Some scholars insist that Jesus actally drove a Honda, only he didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills".
As for Joshua, he drove a Triumph sports car with its muffler filter taken off: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land".
And, of course, following Jesus' lead, the twelve apostles car-pooled in a Honda...
"The apostles were in one Accord".
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth, because the Bible states, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury".
However, in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm".
But, perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast".
Some scholars insist that Jesus actally drove a Honda, only he didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills".
As for Joshua, he drove a Triumph sports car with its muffler filter taken off: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land".
And, of course, following Jesus' lead, the twelve apostles car-pooled in a Honda...
"The apostles were in one Accord".
