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....no they just run past you cutting your air line as they go....

...you feel your lungs collapse as the air from your oxygen supply-line skooshes into the zero atmosphere of the asteroid...

....."gasp" you black out. When you come to, you are lying on a brilliant green landscape. Six identical centaurs have crossbows pointed at your heart. Then four people that glow with heavenlight jump out from behind a conveniently placed berry bush and slaughter the centaurs. Is this heaven? No... it's Age of Mythology... Thank Zorg for the improbability device. . .

.... After coming too after blacking out after seeing the centuars killed, you immediatly think "damn". The improbablitiy device has transported youinto the 2nd dimension, inhabited by such horrible creatures as donkey kong wario, ryu and others. They only way out is to play through all the levels starting with....

...sod that for a game of soliders. You reach for your trusty leather knapsack, and after a quick rummage come up with your 'Editor for Every Game Ever Made'. Hah! You level up and up and up. Now you are in GOD mode. Hmmm... now what?...ship it in... . What no, it can't be...

... the game is in editing!!!!!!!!! A voice booms
God mode? Well, Play it like this!

And proceeds to turn off god mode and confiscates your editor.....

...just before The Voice wrenches the Editor from your grasp you do a sneaky toggle on the console code...

...and your inner virtual hard drive makes an illegal copy. You quickly distribute the thousand illegal bonus points among STR, DEX and CON, pick up super-arch-elite armor and weapons and sprint through one hundred and seventy dungeon levels, easily despatching millions of donkey kongs as you getting closer to the Main Boss.
Suddenly, you see some strange reddish fog on your path to the Boss Chamber... You think it's not a big deal, like who cares... Big mistake! Since you did not add any points to WIS and INT, you fail to recognize the evil Blood Mist... As you wade through the hungry fog, you become completely level-drained! You are level 1 now and cannot use your super-elite armor and weapons any more. All you can wear is your stained rodeo clown outfit, and the only available weapon is...

...a blowpipe and one dart. With blowpipe in hand, you wade towards dry land. Upon setting foot on that piece of dry land, you are ambushed by a zombie armed with a Tommy gun. The zombie starts firing its gun at you. You are pinned down behind a fallen tree in the hail of bullets as the zombie is closing in towards you. The only way to take it down is to plug it in the head. Problem is, it got you pinned so any attempts on trying to poke your head out (or running away) will give you a one way ticket to the grave. You decide to....

...play possum. You fall melodramatically to the ground crying, "Wait, don't waste your ammo, the noble undead warrior, I am dead alright!" and roll over and lay very still, your tongue lolling out of your mouth... There is a slight chance that the approaching zombie's INT might be a little bit lower than yours...

... But no it is not to be.

"Ahah! I'm the super INT sketeton!!!"

*you punch is face*

"to bad you forgot CON"

stepping over you think aback to when......

...you were stepping over your first fallen adversary... What were your thoughts at that time? You realize there were none... As usual...

You are all reflexes and impulses, that's how they train people at the academy... You jump up and bludgeon the skeleton with your blowpipe. It falls apart with a sickening "crack-k-k-k" and you realize that you can now attempt to construct a nice suit of bone armor for yourself before you face the Main Boss.
What could be more satisfying than building your success upon your foes' bones?..

Donning the suit of bone armour, you feel an interesting little tingle. 'Good lord', you think to yourself, 'I do believe that was one of my brain synapses firing...hmm' ... Now you understand! The super INT zombie/skeleton thingy, whose body you are now wearing as armour, it's super-intellect is being transduced into you. You hardly have time to get used not operating in the muddled fog that has been passing for 'thinking'/brain activity these last few days, when...

...you feel an irresistable urge to shamble and moan. Your newly boosted INT allows you to identify your new armor as

Crude Bone Armor for Dummies

Armor class: none
INT +1
Shamble + 13
Moan +13
Cursed

Nice...

looking around for a weapons you spot.

Giant Bone

Damage: 1 - 24, +2 budgening

Specials. Thump. d13, to hit, 2d20 damage d10 stun

Whoo, lets get hunting....

...but wait, there is more! You make a few sockets in your cursed Bone armor and Giant Bone and insert a handful of dimes and quarters (oooh, shiny ones!) in these sockets. Your armor and weapon are upgraded!

Shiny Bone Armor for Dummies

Armor class: -5
INT+1
CHAR +3
Fire Resistance 50%
Shamble + 13
Moan +13
Cursed

Superior Giant Bone

Damage: 1 - 24, +2 bludgeoning
+100 atack rating against evil twins
Specials. Thump. d13, to hit, 2d20 damage, d10 stun
5% Life Savings stolen per hit

You feel lucky. You stroll right into the Boss Chamber...

The Boss is your Evil Twin!!!!!!!

....you glanced down and spotted the Tommy gun and a Browning pistol the skeleton dropped. In an instant, the evil twin summoned a dozen skeleton warriors to assault you. Swiftly, you grabbed both the Tommy gun and the pistol and start unloading lead on them. They collapsed into a pile of bones. Now, it's just you and the evil twin brother one on one. As you're about to squeeze the triggers of both guns to finish him off....

...he turns into a Death Claw and slaps the weapons from your hands, leaving you weaponless and confronting a mighty opponent. You decide that...

...it is time to reload and quickly punch ESC... Phew! That was close.
Armed with the Giant Bone, you cautiously re-open the door...

Apparently, all Bosses are randomly generated because the Evil Twin is gone and the new Boss is...

....a Tiger tank. You know that your bone won't be able to penetrate it's armour, given the fact that not even an ordinary tank round can penetrate it's body. You will have to find a way to take it down, nonetheless. So...