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...but since you always wanted to be a Hero you decide to annihilate the evil Battlestar first. You use one of your implants to hack the secret code (CTRL+ALT+DEL) to enter the broom closet where the BUTTON is hidden. You start your search when something terrible happens...

...The facility is under attack. The military had laid siege on the facility. A small squad found you and escorted you to the exit while the rest mop up any remaining robots. You were then escorted to their command ship and after being treated for injuries, the commander interrogated you with loads of questions ranging from.....

"who are you?" to "have you ever tried that sushibar down the street? awful isnt it?" you realise that...

. . . they're hooking you up to a polygraph. The commander rips off a face mask and reveals himself to be a major sith lord.

"Now, cupcake.....Who's ya father and what does 'e do.."

he ask you..."What's your favorite color?" and "What's the air speed of ...":laugh:

"I'm not telling you that ", you say totally repulsed by the idea of giving this creature any indication of what your favourite colour might be and as to the velocity of the...

...HUGE unknown doohickey that seems to be rapidly approaching your head. As the HUGE doohickey gets close enough you realise it is...

...a winged shilling carrying Casper the Ghost on a string of magazine clippings. More winged shillings descend from the heavens carrying a variety of objects like a 1980s calculator, a mug with "Toronto" on it, and a fossilized lizard tail. They crowd around you and carry you into another room, where you find a pile of Cat Fancy magazines that specialize in advice on how to Raise healthy happy kittens and why needy kitties need to be not so needy. Suddenly the sith lord chunks you over the head with a book that just happens to be the collected harry potter books and is like 4000 pages long, so obviously you are knocked out cold........

and have a sudden longing to smack Hermione over the head with a herring. Why a herring, you wonder...but really isn't that just as good as anything else? So, after you awake from being knocked out, you decide that your next course of action should be....

... several minutes of speedreading cat fancy. Now you use your amazing cat powers to call a massive amount of kittens down on the sith (ever seen a sith fight a cat? No? cos they lose Lucas didn't want to spend so much stunt money that the cat could lose) and you jump onto the teleporter to...

...to figure out:
1. what to do with all this junk and
2. how to get out.

While the merciless Sith Lord is on his lunch break, you eat the lizard tail (crunchy!), put the mug in the backpack (nice logo) and use the calculator to calculate your chances. Hmm... only one.
You start browsing the Cat Fancy magazines thinking, "Only one chance!" You are not a stranger to pain so you manage to read a couple of articles about needy kittens in spite of the terrible headache, nausea and cramps it gave you. Finally, when you almost pass out you find what you need: the phone number of a company making Cat Litter. You know that cat litter is your ONLY CHANCE so you call the company and order a million bags of cat litter to be delivered ASAP...

...But the delivey guy dumps it on the planet next door. So you just press you "inforing!" the ring that can do anything! and are teleoported (sucessfully) to your secret base. There you see your old advisor....

. . . Master Sirloin. Unfortunately, you were gone about 5 minutes and your beloved master is now senile. You watch in sadness as he leaps around like a cricket and chases an invisible mouse. Taking out your anti-aging gun, you fire it at the old man. Instantly, he turns into a string of used dental floss. Well, you THOUGHT it was your anti-aging gun.....

...but, once again, the rational thinking is not among your primary atributes. Luckily, the process is reversible and ten minutes later Master Sirloin is back to his senile self.
You inspect your secret base and find a few old family photographs. You remember that your Dad is sick (you hope he is still alive) and you are supposed to deliver the cure. You need to travel to the Black Hole...

No problemo. You press the key below Esc and call up the console codes screen, tap in COC "Black Hole", press Enter and wait a short while as it 'loads'. While you are in that screen you also increase, Strength, Add various nasty spells and add a Daedric suit or armour and weaponry. Fully equipped and refreshed you are feeling the cooling breeze of the Black Hole brush past you on your way to your latests and most testing of all destinations. It is good that you are in this total state of readiness
perhaps you should have toggled God Mode] oh, well, too late, here comes Johnny!

At that moment you realize that you forgot to activate Norton and your Daedric suit is full of worms and you are infected with a million of deadly viruses. You freeze. Within a second your whole life flashes before you... no, wait, what the hell, that is not your life, that is...

....your spirit leaving your decaying body. On the plus side, your body will regenerate after half an hour, just like Azrael from the Legacy of Kain series. Bad thing is, you will be defenceless while in ghost form. While you wait.....

you decide to explore the spirit world like in jade empire! Unfortunatly all the spirtis are quite happy and so you talk a snooze and awake to.....

...find yourself floating in the sea of a thousand truths. The insight gained by these waters make you realise that the world is...

...still waiting for you to FINALLY get down to business and save your father. If the poor sod is still sticking around, that is.
You part the waters of the Sea of a Thousand Truths with your joystick and set your course to Infinity and Beyond!
The Black Hole is sucking you inside, deeper and deeper. You feel the incredible G-force; your ears are flapping behind... You start turning into anti-matter... At that moment you see the pork fiber!!! Actually, it is the anti-pork fiber now. Does not matter, you grab the anti-pork and try to pull out. Will you be able to defy the laws of physics and escape from the Black Hole?..