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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:23 pm
by ch85us2001
Yeah, Foxworthy is great, but Engvall is the best
@hill; *COUGHSF*

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:32 pm
by Phreddie
[QUOTE=Hill-Shatar]We should start a Foxworthy thread.
Or at least a "ÿour a redneck if..."[/QUOTE]
go ahead and start it, i found a great red neck site once ill have to go look it up...
Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 8:59 pm
by dragon wench
[QUOTE=Hill-Shatar]We should start a Foxworthy thread.
Or at least a "ÿour a redneck if..."[/QUOTE]
I think we've had some of those, and I seem to recall I was the perpetrator of at least one
Still, can resist quoting this one...
You know you're a redneck when....
You're banned from the Memphis Zoo because you disturb the monkeys. 
Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 9:03 pm
by ch85us2001
*cough*
You may recall?
On a slightly related note to the original story, one of the stylists at my mothers salon hit 4 cows (not cars as was originally posted

) on the freeway the other day, killing 3. Pretty good average for such a large animal

Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 10:28 pm
by Hill-Shatar
[QUOTE=dragon wench]
You know you're a redneck when....
You're banned from the Memphis Zoo because you disturb the monkeys. 
[/QUOTE]
Excellent!
Really? I could not find one. Was it purged?

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:31 am
by VonDondu
If your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs, you might be a redneck.
Check out
this page to see what it's like to live next to a genuine redneck. The photo link called
"Flag pole" is my favorite. I see it in a different light every time I look at it, and I can't keep myself from giggling.
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 3:50 am
by Vicsun
I'm pretty

as to why he fought it too.
[QUOTE=VonDondu]There was a 5-point buck in his house, and he didn't have a gun. So he had to fight it with his bare hands.[/QUOTE]
Quoth the article:
"...Goldsberry entered the bedroom to confront the animal and, after a brief struggle, emerged to tell his wife to call police. After returning to the bedroom, the fight continued..."
After telling his wife to call the police,
he went back in to finish the job. He could have just ignored it and waited for the police to get there, but he chose not to. I personally believe he did it just to prove how hardcore he was.
edit: and he was pretty hardcore.
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 5:08 am
by Phreddie
He fought it because he felt like it and was trying to protect his sister/wife/lover how manly could he act in bed if he had let it wait for the police! He had a nother 'hard'core thing to worry about at the moment.
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:04 am
by VonDondu
[QUOTE=Vicsun]Quoth the article: "...Goldsberry entered the bedroom to confront the animal and, after a brief struggle, emerged to tell his wife to call police. After returning to the bedroom, the fight continued..."
After telling his wife to call the police, he went back in to finish the job.[/QUOTE]
Right. When he went back to the bedroom, the deer was still there, so he had to fight it.
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:12 am
by ch85us2001
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 6:21 am
by dj_venom
[QUOTE=ch85us2001]Why didnt he close the door?

[/QUOTE]
Because that would have required an IQ of above 50... oh, and it's more fun this way too.
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 9:14 am
by Vicsun
[QUOTE=VonDondu]Right. When he went back to the bedroom, the deer was still there, so he had to fight it.[/QUOTE]
What prompted him to go back in?
I'm sure I'm missing something since people don't generally fight deers with their bare hands if they are somehow able to not fight deers with their bear hands.
edit: Or did I miss the facetiousness in your post?
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 9:20 am
by Cuchulain82
That is equal parts gruesome and hilarious.
*ugh*

Killing a deer with your bare hands...
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 9:42 am
by VonDondu
[QUOTE=Vicsun]What prompted him to go back in?[/QUOTE]
There was a deer in his bedroom.
I think you're missing the fact that he fought the deer because it was there.

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:02 am
by Vicsun
[QUOTE=VonDondu]There was a deer in his bedroom.
I think you're missing the fact that he fought the deer because it was there.

[/QUOTE]
Being both an animal lover, and more importantly having a healthy fear of large animals with pointy, possibly sharp, objects coming out of their heads, I find it hard to empathise.
On a brighter side, I'm getting a mental image of a middle aged man saying "Honey, call the police. There's a deer in our bedroom and the only way to settle this is having a duel to the death."
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:28 am
by Lasher
I think it's important to note that there probably wasn't a gun in the house, seeing as he probably would have used it if there was... The point is... what self-respecting child of a redneck this hardcore would not have a gun??? I doubt she's the "edumacated" one of the family, either, seeing as she still lives relatively close to her Pa'...
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:42 am
by dragon wench
Maybe he suddenly discovered the gun was out of bullets.
He was so distracted by winning that can of
erl at the Walmart that every other thought was driven from his mind

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 10:47 am
by Lasher
Hmmm... Or perhaps a little fuzzy from all the paint he'd been sniffing...

Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 11:51 am
by Vicsun
[QUOTE=Lasher]Hmmm... Or perhaps a little fuzzy from all the paint he'd been sniffing...

[/QUOTE]
Them hillbillies sure is dumb, lol
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 4:05 pm
by Fiona
No. I've been thinking about this and I'm fairly sure he didn't want to get blood on the carpet. He's clearly the houseproud sort of redneck, and therefore had no choice.